Grammar Police Bust Fifth Grade Flunky

Mama, I’ll be l8 for dinner.

“It was a bust of a lifetime,” gruffed Websters Police Officer Larry Choksond, as he puffed his cigar twirling the smoke in the air, trying to pass a look of dignity.

Earlier that day, Larry completely shredded a semi-popular Facebook post by repeat fifth-grade offender, Harry Arse, with one loud, intrusive comment.

“We got the sonofabitch!” barked Larry has he pressed the enter button on his golden keyboard, effectively shining a flash light on Harry’s reckless crime.

Ever the vigilante, Larry claims he stopped the crime because of a sense of duty.

I mean, come on, the complete disrespect for the English language, it makes me feel sick! I had to do something!” “…I’ll never let a your, you’re or a they’re, their or there ever go unchecked!”

A modest fella, Larry attributed his training to stop the crime of the century.

It’s a credit to our training and our complete lack of hobbies or interest in the opposite sex; Don’t be confused, I’m not a hero, I’m an overweight man.”

Rest assured, the grammar police are out there getting their pat-on-the-backs, one typo at a time.

I wrote this mainly because I thought the title was funny, not because I have some vendetta about being corrected. However, generally speaking, grammar police suck! As always, please like, comment, share, and tell me what you think. What do you think about the grammar police? Have you ever been busted?

41 thoughts on “Grammar Police Bust Fifth Grade Flunky

  1. Grammarly is the new grammar Nazi these days. It doesn’t understand some things are for effect and there are newer words than have yet to be programmed into the on-line grammar cop. It also thinks that typos are grammar errors rather than fat finger fumblings.

      1. It can help and its also very annoying. Which is more important? Not being annoyed or having your grammar and misspellings corrected?

  2. Grammarly is pretty decent. That being said, you can’t take everything it says as law. Often times it will suggest you change this to that and it will make you sound like you scanned the thesaurus to sound more worldly. I use it for work, but you definitely don’t want to just accept everything it suggests.

  3. I like Grammarly. Problem is it’s more for business and term papers than for novelists. That said, I use it religiously. It’s not the only tool I use. I also use Hemingway and good old fashioned word.
    And oh, a little common sense.

  4. The grammar police do suck big time. It is more of a psychological issue, something the grammar police need to resolve. Who corrects others for public humiliation, someone who needs to control, be right and be seen, and let’s not mention to APPEAR smarter than a fifth grader.
    Not one person is asking for grammar correction, I assure you. People need to mind their own business and flaws. Just saying.

  5. Totally notice every mistake. Doesn’t mean I have to point out every wrong of every other person. I can just do me, right, and it won’t harm me. They probably could, too!! I think when you feel real bad about yourself, making others feel bad makes you feel a little better. For a brief second. Maybe. Probably not, though.

    1. She who holds great power holds great responsibility! And it sounds like you’re holding yours well. You’re probably right, most people probably do it to make themselves feel better. Thank you so much for reading!

  6. Hate the grammar police! There’s no need for every blog and tweet to be absolutely perfect. With regards Grammarly, it is sometimes good for picking up what you’ve missed, but it doesn’t catch everything. Also, some of the corrections it gives are just … wrong. Not great for a tool that’s supposed to improve your writing!

  7. I will offer a correction when I know the author had a completely different intent or meaning. I would welcome the same for my blog, and not be offended.

  8. I happen to be one who believes proper grammar and spelling are important. If you claim to be a writer but don’t care enough about your readers to use proper grammar, then I don’t care enough to read your writing. It’s not about a power trip or being right. It’s about using the proper words and making yourself understood. Would you put diesel in a gas-powered engine? Would you use watercolors to paint your deck? No. You use the proper words to be understood and to be taken seriously as a moderately intelligent and thoughtful person.

    That said, things like typing on small screens and autocorrect sometimes do make us look foolish as well. So some forgiveness should be allowed. My thought is, one or two errors here and there are oversights. Multitudes and consistent misspellings and grammar errors are no longer errors. They are lazy and inconsiderate.

  9. Then again, there are the typos and grammatical errors that I find in the online news stories by professional journalists. And I think, an editor would have spotted that and got it corrected before the piece went to print. I wonder how many editors are now out of work.

  10. What a fun blog with a great name. I’m so glad you stopped by mine. I admit, I am a member of the grammar police – a hazard of my trade – but I only bust when invited or if something is misleading or embarrassing to the writer. Mostly, I just grumble about it to my other writer friends. 🙂

  11. Definition: “Panda. Large black-and-white mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.” See “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” written by Lynne Truss. Delightful book!

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