Tilted Towers, Kansas – The Nibbles and Bits Police Department would like to issue a public apology regarding an incident that took place earlier today at the tennis courts.
Officer Sparkles has been placed on a mandatory leave of absence after chasing down annoyed step Father Harold Smith and biting his balls clean off after confusing his testicles with the spare tennis ball he keeps in his pocket.
Harold was in the middle of a begrudged tennis lesson with resentful step-son Johnny, when The Officer noticed the bouncing ball and went bananas.
“That fucking dog!” Winced Harold as he was rolling away to the ambulance. “I only took that little bastard to the tennis courts because his mother wanted us to “Bond” Now I’ll never get laid again!”
Johnny was found laughing hysterically at the scene.
Officer Sparkles declined to comment on this situation however the department issued this heartfelt message,
“We’re really super duper sorry this happened, he won’t be getting any new toys in the near future”
This is a developing story.
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think. Do you like dogs? Have you met Officer Sparkles? What Funny story would you like to read?
Officer Sparkles was just showing that he was offended by Mr. Smith actually having balls.
Officer sparkles was drunk with power!
The department issued heartfelt message has me falling out of my chair.
Land softly!
Thanks Tony
Lmao!!!!!
Thank you
Father Harold should have invested in a pair of underwear. Now he would not need them anymore. Hilarious!
Yes he should have
OK, you want a dog story? Here’s a dog story!
I was working MPI at Ft. Riley, Kansas, and we were pulling a vehicle inspection of incoming vehicles on post one night. We’d already apprehended a half dozen drunk drivers, arrested three people on possession of narcotics, and another on an outstanding warrant.
Sgt. Kelli Daniels had her dog down there, and she’d run it around a vehicle sniffing for dope. Trooper was a big, mean German Shepherd. He looked after Kelli like a guardian angel. Another story about her and the dog another time.
But a car came on post, and she runs the dog around, and the dog alerts on it. We get the driver out, but the dog isn’t paying attention to the car, but the guy. Figuring the guy has dope, we order him down into a felony position, and then send the dog around him one more time to sniff for weapons. It get’s about half way around the guy, stops like it’s alerted on something, and before we could say “Jack Robinson,” mounted the guy and started going for it.
Kelli pulled the dog off him, and we stepped in and frisked him ourselves.
The only explanation given was by the guy. He’d just had sex and everything must have still been fresh. We didn’t pursue it any further.
Oh, he did have a quarter bag of coke on him.
Hahaha that’s a great story! I come from a law enforcement family so I appreciate it
Officer Sparkles sure Aced those balls😉
I see that you did there!