The Introverts Morning Routine

You see him.

Grass-stained sneakers dance behind the hum of a mower.

A powerful 80’s mustache parts the air like the Red Sea.

He’s wearing khakis and the kind of T-shirt that makes you think he got it for free—the one with a faded “Go Team” and peeled lettering.

It’s 9 AM on a Wednesday, and the peachiest motherfucker this side of Home Depot is standing 10 feet away from you.

The joys of having a neighbor.


His head turns as your door’s loud “thud” races across the suburban terrain.

You lock eyes.

His feet stop.

You curse.

A how-you-doing smile wraps around Mr. Morning’s face.

You attempt to brace yourself for the apparently unbraceable…

Unsolicited small talk.

It doesn’t work.

The introvert inside you screams ‘fuck.‘ right before a wave of “how you doings?” hits the beach like a seal hits the sand.

You try to run, but you both know that isn’t happening.

It’s 9:01, and you’re trapped.

Welcome to Wednesday. The weeks half-over.

Please, like, comment, share with an introvert and tell me what you think. What annoys you as an introvert or extrovert?

48 thoughts on “The Introverts Morning Routine

  1. Hah! The amount of pain I feel on some days knowing I have to make small talk feels exhausting. One of the main reasons I’m moving away from my salesperson path, totally not me.

  2. Haha, I actively go out of my way to avoid small talk. See someone I know when walking the dog? Take another less-scenic route. Saw a friend in the restaurant? Act like I didn’t and try to stay hidden, lol. I’m not anti-social. Just need to save my energy, yanno?

  3. I’m contemplating taking a different route from the train to the school to avoid the lollipop lady who goes out of her way to stop and talk. I pray every morning that she has children needing to cross the road. I need the calm and quiet before I start my classes

  4. Oh god! Small talk! 😱😱 I hate it! If you don’t walk away before your chirpy/chatty neighbour or friend see you then you’re screwed! 😛😂 I literally would walk over to the opposite side of the street to avoid small talk!

  5. I never thought of the “small talk” aspect of it. I just don’t want to see people unless I’m in a mood. Which rarely happens haha. I’m all down for classroom discussions or debates, but I don’t like that unstructured time before and after or at breaks- which is where the small talk happens. You’ve shown me something and given me a laugh as well. 🙂

      1. Sounds logical, but doesn’t work. It just copies the blog title with no way to create a link. Maybe when I get out of procrastination mode I’ll have a chat with WordPress about it. Maybe tomorrow….

      2. I’ve found the browser I’m using can make a difference there. We use MS Edge for work that just puts the title (also frustrating for referencing with students) but Google Chrome gives me the proper url

  6. My next door neighbour’s daughter (aged around 50) is the loudest person I’ve ever encountered. There is no such thing as “small talk” with her, it’s all BIG talk.
    It’s scary!!

  7. The fact that everyone is expected to be an extrovert is exhausting. I have to mentally prepare before social events and i have to recharge my battery after. The last couple of years I speak up more and I’m way more social than before, but whenever I’m more quiet people often ask what’s wrong. That is the exact moment that i don’t want to talk about my feelings; when my anxiety kicks in

    1. I know that feeling so well, lately I just try to brush it off by telling people I’m introverted and I get my energy from being alone and need some time to it

      1. I wish this worked. People still say I’m weird and I’m realizing I should have learned to live with that opinion of me much sooner in life instead of forcing myself and developing anxiety.

  8. My daughter and I just talked about this the other day. She has a stressful job. When she gets home, sometimes she wants to sit “quietly” in the backyard, but if her neighbor sees her, they start talking. She said, in their defense, they are REALLY NICE people, but sometimes we just want “alone time.” Also, THINK ABOUT IT, sometimes people feel they are UNFRIENDLY if they don’t offer a quick hello and chat a little. It’s a challenging situation. HOW about sitting on a plane, looking forward to snoozing and you sit next to a talker who doesn’t interest you. Now, you are stuck in a corner. LOL

  9. I’ve nodded along at times, others I’m less lenient. I have actually said to someone, “Do you just talk to fill silences? Because you’re just spewing word salad.”

    Small social niceties I understand. They’re brief and to the point. A nod here or there, perhaps a simple “hello”.

    But do NOT try to pin me down, talking about something I could care less about. I just might make you cry.

    Its the only way some people learn to “read the room”.

    Like the post.

  10. I was in retail sales for more years than I care to think about sometimes. But it taught me how to pass as an extrovert. Most people have no idea how very shy I am. I learned to just put myself out there and not worry too much. But I still will avoid a small talk situation if I can. I’ll walk Maddie on a different route. Or sit in my car for a couple extra minutes until a person I know is a talker leaves the area. I feel badly about it sometimes. But for the most part, I’ve made peace with it. We can’t all be outgoing. Gah! Wouldn’t that be a mess. 🙂

    1. I’m the same way, I used to do outside sales so I can put it on but i also do the same thing after too much I’ll talking I’ll take the longer route to be alone

  11. I’m not an introvert. I just hate talking to people about their kids, their pets, their gardens, their finances, their sex lives, their health, their weird dreams, their dinner plans, their shopping list, their spouse’s job, their grankid’s school concert, their gardener’s drinking problem, their car’s motorplan, their arthritis, their coffee withdrawal symptoms. I don’t like people talking at all. It interferes with the voices in my head.

  12. Something that can annoy me is when someone often asks “how was your day?” I appreciate the effort to talk but then I feel obligated to ask how their day went or else I’m being rude. Great story, it felt extremely relatable!

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