You see him.
Grass-stained sneakers dance behind the hum of a mower.
A powerful 80’s mustache parts the air like the Red Sea.
He’s wearing khakis and the kind of T-shirt that makes you think he got it for free—the one with a faded “Go Team” and peeled lettering.
It’s 9 AM on a Wednesday, and the peachiest motherfucker this side of Home Depot is standing 10 feet away from you.
The joys of having a neighbor.
His head turns as your door’s loud “thud” races across the suburban terrain.
You lock eyes.
His feet stop.
A how-you-doing smile wraps around Mr. Morning’s face.
You attempt to brace yourself for the apparently unbraceable…
Unsolicited small talk.
It doesn’t work.
The introvert inside you screams ‘fuck.‘ right before a wave of “how you doings?” hits the beach like a seal hits the sand.
You try to run, but you both know that isn’t happening.
It’s 9:01, and you’re trapped.
Welcome to Wednesday. The weeks half-over.
Please, like, comment, share with an introvert and tell me what you think. What annoys you as an introvert or extrovert?