“Do I want it?”

“Do I actually want it?”

I find myself asking that question anytime I’m about to start something new.

Maybe it’s writing a book.

Maybe it’s picking up a new hobby.

But no matter what the “it” is, this is the question I find myself wrestling with.

And if you’re anything like me—someone chasing success—well, that little deep dive into your mind can drown you.

Because finding success in anything isn’t about knowing hacks.

It’s not about following someone else’s morning routine.

And it’s definitely not about staring into a mirror, chanting affirmations like a 60’s lunatic.

It’s about answering one simply, hard question.

Do you actually want it?

 

Why Most People Freeze

Have you ever asked yourself this?

Think about the last time you were on the verge of making a big decision and were forced to confront it.

The moment you ask yourself, “Do I actually want this?”, something weird tends to happen.

You pause.

You squirm.

And you try to do everything but be honest.

Because deep down, you already know if you want something or not.

But when you’re forced to drag that truth into the light, sometimes you don’t like what you see.

Because the reality is:

Most people don’t actually want the thing.

Most people  want the idea of the thing.

They want the idea of being fit—posting gym selfies and raking in the compliments.
But they don’t want the grind of 6 a.m. alarms and crowded gyms.

They want the idea of writing a novel—signing books for adoring fans at Barnes & Noble—
but they don’t want to sit their ass in a chair for hours, second-guessing every sentence, every day.

They want the idea of falling in love.

But they don’t want to accept the compromise and surrender of self.

And this is huge to realize because here’s the truth:

If you don’t actually want the thing, you won’t do the thing.

My Story: Band vs. Writing

When I was younger, I was really into rock and ended up buying a guitar.

Because, well… guitars are cool.

Really damn cool.

After strumming around for a bit, it became clear to anyone with ears that I needed some lessons so, I signed up with a guy who looked like the kind of dude who smoked cigarettes outside of Best Buy.

Like any good teacher, my guitar tutor told me I needed to practice.

And with every lesson, he reminded me to do it — because it was obvious I didn’t.

I practiced exactly once a week — during my lesson.

Years later, my dad said, “Remember that guitar you had? I don’t think I ever heard you play it.”

And he’s right.

He never heard me play it because I never played it.

You see, I liked the idea of being the guy who was good at guitar.

But the truth?

I didn’t actually want it.

Nor did I behave like I did.

Because you can’t sustain something you don’t actually want to do.

But here’s the good news: the flip side is also true.

If you actually like doing something, you can’t help but do it.

That’s me with writing.

I write in the morning. I write at night. And hell, I’m even writing right now when I should be knocking out some chores.

Because I actually want it and I can’t help but do it.

That’s the difference.

Success Is Want, Not Willpower

Here’s what no one tells you.

People think success is about discipline, intelligence and luck.

And yes, those things matter.

But they’re not the core of what makes someone successful.

The core of it is want.

A deep-fuckin’-want.

When you actually want something, you’ll find a way to do it — whether you feel motivated or not.

Because your brain and body naturally start organizing themselves around that thing.

It’s just how humans work.

Get Honest With Yourself

So here’s your assignment:

If you have a dream but are not making progress, it’s time to  sit down, be brutally honest and ask yourself:

“What do I actually want?”

Because whatever that thing is — whatever you truly want — you’re already moving toward it.

And the sooner you stop lying to yourself, the faster you’ll actually get there.

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think! DO you agree?