“I’m afraid of success.”
What a load of crap.
Every time people talk about success, this idea pops up — that humans are somehow terrified of success.
Like success is some horror-movie villain lurking in the dark, waiting to jump out wearing a Freddy Krueger sweater and a 401 (k).
Maybe you’re watching a motivational movie.
Maybe you’re sitting in an office with the same framed motivational posters they used in the late ’90s.
But somehow this myth keeps getting recycled:
That people are afraid of success.
But I don’t buy it.
Try telling “I fear success” to someone stressing about rent.
“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep last night. The idea of having more money than I know what to do with kept me tossin’ and turnin’ all night long.”
Sure. Right.
It’s horseshit.
But buried in that pile of horseshit is a tiny carrot of truth:
There is some sort of fear that’s associated with success. But the fear isn’t from success itself.
The fear is something success demands:
Change.
Look, people don’t fear winning. We do want the gold medal.
They fear what they’ll have to give up to win.
The late nights.
The sleeping in.
The shows, the apps, the tiny dopamine hits that make life feel cozy and familiar.
Losing those?
Yeah — that’s scary.
At least it is for me.
I’m at a crossroads right now.
I know I need to turn things up.
Not because I’m doing nothing — I’m doing plenty — just not enough to get to the version of my life I know I’m capable of.
And here’s the annoying truth:
To become that version of myself, I actually have to act like him.
Which means giving up a few things:
-
Sleeping in.
-
Gaming with my friends for hours.
-
Thinking instead of acting.
Basically, I need to push myself more consistently.
And that’s the part I fear — not success, not money, not the next level.
Just the long list of tiny, uncomfortable moments where my brain whines:
“Ughhhh, I don’t want to.”
It’s like when your dog throws up on the floor.
It takes one minute to clean it, but you spend ten minutes thinking about how you don’t want to clean it.
Or how you can even be hungry, but the idea of walking to the kitchen seems worse than the hunger itself.
It’s stupid, but it’s real.
That’s the mental battle of change.
It’s not that it’s hard — it’s that it’s uncomfortable.
Why We Procrastinate (And What It Has to Do With Change)
The number one barrier to change is procrastination.
But procrastination, as many people think about it, is wrong.
People think laziness is the cause of procrastination.
But procrastination isn’t caused by laziness itself. It’s caused because we think whatever we’re supposed to be doing will make us miserable.
We imagine the work will be boring, painful, and overwhelming — so our brain shoves us toward something familiar.
“Let’s check Instagram instead.”
“Let’s go on a walk.”
“Let’s do literally anything except the thing that moves us forward.”
But once you understand that fear is the real enemy, you can trick your brain back onto your side.
Treat the work like a game.
I find it easier to treat most things like a game.
Because games make effort rewarding.
They turn progress into feedback.
They make discomfort an expected part of the package.
So gamify the boring stuff:
“Send the email” → complete the quest
“Write 500 words” → gain XP
“Pitch a new client” → level up
You’re not making the work easier.
You’re making it playful.
You’re rewiring resistance.
Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like suffering — it feels like a challenge.
The Reframe
Here’s something I’ve learned:
Leveling up doesn’t require becoming a brand-new person.
You don’t need to delete joy.
You don’t need to erase who you are.
If you love gaming, game.
If you love staying up late, stay up late.
You just need to schedule your comfort instead of letting it run the show.
Which means just do the things you know need to do.
That’s it.
Think of this whole chapter as evolution:
Same person.
Better habits.
Cleaner inputs.
Higher outputs.
The truth is this:
The gap between who you are and who you want to be is mostly made of a handful of slightly boring tasks done consistently.
But know it won’t make your life boring.
And it won’t strip away your fun.
It just means you finally take yourself seriously enough to put progress first and comfort second.
And that’s what it takes to win.
And you’re capable of winning.
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think. DO you agree?
Follow me on Substack: Tonysbologna | Anthony Robert | Substack
LOL – Yes, fear of success has to do with giving up freedoms. You can’t be in your rabbit hole anymore.
I love our no nonsense way of pointing out the truth. I’ve never had the problem of too much money. But I have had fear I wouldn’t have enough.
So happy you enjoyed! you and I share the same fear.
I don’t or didn’t fear becoming or being successful while I was working. What I did experience was the criticism of my success. Things being said, such as “you think you are better than me or us”; “you look down on us” or “now that you got money, you should help your family.” When you earn more family start to expect you to pay more or support others that don’t support themselves. Being successful comes with a price.
Boy, is that true! My family has no idea how much I make. I’ve given them way too much as it is.
Fun way to game the gear.
Thanks so much my friend!!
Great post
This is not something I suffer from. Success? Bring it on! 🙂
Insightful 👍
I really like this blog and thanks for writing it.
I totally agree! I’m afraid to play the lottery. Not because of all the money I could make, but it’s the change in my life if I win big. I love writing. To me, it’s like a puzzle to be solved. Yes, editing is boring…until I think of it as a puzzle. Do the pieces fit? Am I afraid of fame? Good question. Change gets harder the older you become.
Agree. Real change begins when we stop calling it procrastination and start recognising it as fear of change.
Without awareness, fear wears the mask of an old friend.
Makes sense to me.
Well, my experience has taught me that it is easier for people to sit around a bitch about others who were successful, and then demand they pay “their fair share”.
I see that all the time, without realizing most rich people busted their ass to become rich.
That attitude I always thought was self defeating – I mean really who wants to believe that fate had already been decided?
Not me
“It takes one minute to clean it, but you spend ten minutes thinking about how you don’t want to clean it.” I realised this for quite a few things in my life, like you said, the stupid little things. It takes more time to think about how you won’t like doing it than it does to do it (ye olde “thinking instead of acting” which I am also prone to), so actually the easier thing to do is just launch in. A mental reframe, not more willpower, not more determination and moral fibre, is really the answer.
Here’s me hoping that the “handful of slightly boring tasks done consistently” will add up to more meaningful change! Thanks for this though-provoking, validating, and motivating post!
Hear me out… I’m fairly new to WP and engaging with other blogs. I have mainly been using my blog as a personal diary to scream into the damn void lol
But seriously, I’m glad you killed the laziness myth. I think it’s actually darker than just avoiding ‘misery’ though.
It’s the Fear of Completion.
Procrastination is basically a way to keep Schrödinger’s cat alive. As long as I don’t finish the work, my potential is still infinite. The second I complete it? Now I can be judged. Now it’s real.
I don’t think we’re afraid of success; we’re afraid of the finality. Staying in the ‘planning phase’ is just a hack to keep my mediocrity hypothetical.