“Everything happens on the other side of your comfort zone.”
I’ve heard that phrase a million times.
Not a hundred.
Not a thousand.
A million.
And you’ve probably heard it too.
Spend five minutes on the motivational side of the internet, and you’re liable to see some guru yelling at the top of their lungs, urging you to leave your comfort zone as if it were on fire.
And if you’re anything like me, you roll your eyes—and feel the corner of a contact lens that’s been floating there since 2014.
Because when most people talk about the comfort zone, they’re frustratingly vague.
It’s one of those things that sounds deep while remaining completely shallow. Preaching without teaching you know.
And that’s always bothered me.
Then, after seeing yet another video about it, something inside me clicked.
It occurred to me that I knew what they meant—but I haven’t heard someone articulate what was behind the point they’re trying to make.
So I want to try.
Because when I thought about it, I realized the comfort zone isn’t a place.
It’s not a lifestyle.
And it’s not a mindset you’re stuck in because you’re feeling weak or lazy.
Your comfort zone is your relationship with doubt.
What the Comfort Zone Really Is
Contrary to popular belief, your comfort zone isn’t the place where you feel good.
Oh no, it’s the place where you feel predictable.
Yes. Predictable.
Because comfort isn’t actually pleasure.
Comfort is predictably avoiding uncertainty.
And uncertainty is born from the “D” word—doubt.
Think about it, any action that helps you avoid doubt feels well… comfortable.
Like staying in on a Friday night, or watching TV when you told yourself you would read a book.
And the more comfortable we feel, the harder it becomes to change.
… Because we’re human.
And humans are hardwired for safety.
That’s why we stay in jobs we don’t like.
That’s why we stay in relationships that don’t fulfill us.
That’s why we quietly abandon lifelong dreams when they start to feel hard.
Because the uncertainty—and doubt—of change feels worse than the familiar comfort of predictability.
It’s just how it is.
But here’s the good part: knowing this gives us leverage.
Because if we can improve our relationship with doubt, we can improve our tolerance for change.
And this starts with understanding what doubt actually is.
Why Doubt Keeps You Stuck
So what is doubt, exactly?
Doubt is your built-in warning signal that flares up whenever we step into the unknown.
It’s like a radar constantly scanning for anything that might disrupt our status quo.
And that’s not necessarily good or bad.
It’s just information you get to decide what to do with.
However, the problem is that doubt is a direct threat to predictability, so it signals our warning system. And anytime we move away from predictability, we’re biologically wired to pause.
That’s why change can feel so hard.
Your body is literally saying, “This might be dangerous,” and warning you to stop.
Which, for a lot of people, is the exact reason they stay stuck.
In other words, doubt wins.
What Leaving the Comfort Zone Actually Means
Leaving your comfort zone doesn’t mean waiting for the moment when you no longer feel doubt.
It means learning to act with doubt and choosing what you value more.
The truth is, you can—and probably should—value comfort in some areas of your life.
For certain paths, like raising a family or unwinding after a hellish day, that choice makes complete sense. You’d be a fool not to.
But if you’re trying to change your direction, create something meaningful, or pursue a different outcome from what you’re accustomed to, your growth demands something else.
It demands uncertainty.
It demands doubt.
And there’s no way around it.
So the truth is, if you want to leave your comfort zone, doubt isn’t the thing holding you back.
Waiting for it to disappear is.
Learn to live with doubt, and you’ll learn how to leave the comfort zone.
Just don’t be surprised if you’re grinding your teeth when you do.
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think. Do you agree? Let me know in the comments below. Please follow me on Substack here: Tonysbologna | Anthony Robert | Substack
When asked if a man can be brave while he is afraid, Lord Eddard Stark (A Game of Thrones) said, “That is the only time a man CAN be brave.” Some beautiful lines within G.R.R. Martin’s writing.
Couldn’t agree more with George Railroad Martin
This resonates with me so much. The watching TV instead of reading—every dang night!
Every morning for me!!
Beautiful and outstanding
Thank you so so much!!
Wonderful message! Keep it going!
Thank you for actually putting a finger on it!
No problem at all, thank you for reading!!
Excellent post! “Your comfort zone is your relationship with doubt.” – nailed it.
Thank you so much h my friend
It may be my eyes, but as I moved the cursor to the box where it says ‘Add a comment’, for a moment I could have sworn it said ‘Acid comment’ – which is pretty much what this oh-so-true post is. A bitter pill with a long-lasting aftertaste of gall. You’ve nailed this one, Tony, spot on. No arguments. Thanks for the reality check. 🙂
Hahah I do the same thing sometimes! I appreciate your thoughtfulness as always my friend
Calling the comfort zone a relationship with doubt is a useful correction. It shifts the work from motivation to attention. Thank you for naming that.
Thank you so much!!
Excellent!
Thank you
Thank you so much for this post. Everything is perspective!
So happy you enjoyed my friend
So true! Good reading, thanks for sharing this.
Thank you so much for reading this
This needed to be said for a while, and you did it.
Thank you so so so much
Spot on Tony. I like the way you’ve put this together and explained so clearly.
Really resonated with me today. Thank you for these words! 😊
Thank you so so so much!! Thank you
I’ve always associated “comfort zone” with someone saying, “You’re lazy.” Like “creature of comfort,” too lazy to try something new. We’ve all been in the comfort zone, then we have to decide if we want to push forward or not. Tough words, but good to think about for start of year! lol
I’m getting ready to retire at the end of the school year, and leaving a comfort zone of a lifetime, literally. I am terrified. Send me prayers, good vibes, magic, and mushroom clouds.
Sending all of the above and more – remember, everything is online new once
this is an excellent post. clear and very very true. thanks tony, I’ll be following your blog for more
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Great post, Tony. And helpful! Thanks!
This resonates, Tony. Thank you!
So very good. I really like how you bring belly shaking laughter into your writings. the contact lens from 2014, classic. makes me want to read more.
Thanks so much! It was something I just added, just because as a person it would piss me off if that happened to me
yup!:)
good insight!
I thought every word written is- truth. I know it to be true because I can relate. My inner being knows it to be true. Thanks for sharing! You hit the nail on the head!
Can’t express how much this resonated. Coming back!
Thanks so much!!
I left my comfort zone this year (finally) and began my blog. Showing up even though I’m still in doubt. This was a nice read. Thank you 😊