“Take a cold shower. Eliminate distractions. Write for 60 minutes.”
I read that one morning and felt like I accidentally signed up for boot camp.
You know the kind of advice I’m talking about.
It’s everywhere.
Some writing guru with a perfectly optimized morning routine and a suspiciously clean desk, explaining that the secret to good writing is discipline, systems, and waking up at 5am to heroically stare at a blank document.
You know — the real hero work.
And look — I get it.
Consistency does matter.
Discipline does matter.
You do have to show up for yourself, sit your ass down in a chair, and write.
But the more of this advice I read, the more something started to feel… off.
Because once you strip away the motivational language, what these routines are really trying to do is eliminate friction.
Remove distractions.
And engineer a perfectly efficient day.
Which sounds great —
Until you realize that almost everything interesting about being human is messy.
The Problem With an Optimized Life
From the outside, the optimized writer’s life looks very clean.
There’s no sitting around watching bad TV and realizing halfway through that the characters remind you of your family.
There’s no getting irrationally angry in a grocery store line because the person in front of you has twelve coupons and the urgency of a glacier.
There’s no conversations that go sideways and leave you replaying them three days later.
It’s just systems.
Just output.
Just the smooth, frictionless production of content.
And that’s great if you’re running a factory.
But writing isn’t manufacturing.
Writing is connection.
The Real Work of a Writer
Your job as a writer isn’t just to produce words.
Your job is to notice things.
The small things.
The paper cuts.
The strange tone in someone’s voice when they say they’re “fine.”
The moment in a conversation when everyone understands something but nobody says it out loud.
Those moments are the raw material of writing.
And you can’t optimize your way into them.
You can only experience them.
But when you do — when you take something true and messy and uncomfortable and put it honestly on the page — readers recognize themselves in it.
They read a line and think, Oh damn. I’ve felt that.
And recognize their own awkward conversations, their own strange thoughts, their own confusing moments.
And suddenly the writing doesn’t feel like content.
It feels like someone understood something about being alive.
Don’t Iron Out the Mess
So please—whatever you do—don’t iron out the mess of life.
Because the mess is where good writing lives.
The frustration, the awkward conversations, the small observations that make you laugh, cringe, or think a little harder about people — that’s what does and always will make writing good.
Because being human isn’t the thing that gets in the way of good writing.
It’s the thing that makes it possible.
Please like, comment, share, and tell me what you think. Do you agree?
Follow me on substack for writing tweets here: (1) Tonysbologna | Anthony Robert | Substack
And to be gloriously human is not to be mistaken for AI. We’re going to want more and more of this as the AI revolution changes the way we interact with words and image. I hope the experience we have with AI throws our human experience in sharp relief, such that have a renaissance of appreciation for just how amazing we humans are.
Couldn’t agree more – being human is at an all time premium
I totally agree!!
Thanks for reading!
Good post x
Thank you so much!
I agree. I’ll never understand why those “hacks” are being pushed so hard. I tried them. They don’t do anything. The more interesting things that I’ve written about now have been things that I try to fix and I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ll sit there for hours— like replacing my car’s front blinker for the first time in my life or fixing a good piece of an electronic—only to realize that the solution was supposed to have taken less than 5 minutes had I just paid attention or if I knew what I was doing. I don’t. But that’s what makes it interesting.
The life of a writer, nicely put.
“Until you realize that almost everything interesting about being human is messy.” That is a great line and may wind up in Cupcakes 3rd novel! If a writer thinks the work stops when the last word is completed, then they do not understand the “go to print” effort involved! Editing requires TWICE the discipline, easily.
So glad you enjoyed and would love to see it there!!
Yes! I absolutely agree with you. Stay messy and human!
Yes life is messy. Ironing out the mess is writing for children, perhaps. And as you pointed out, the messy parts are the relatable touch points that people connect with. And good writers articulate on those. Thanks for sharing.
“Because the mess is where good writing lives.” Mic drop! Preach brother Anthony, Preach. Ha, ha. The frustration, the awkward conversations, the small observations that make you laugh are all the things that make me realize that I’m not alone. That I’m not crazy. That others feel and do things similar to me. It’s also the moment when I realize that . . . God forbid, I actually love people. Shhhh, I don’t want that to get out to many people. Ha, ha. Anyway, great post Anthony. Thanks for the reminder!
This deserves 👏 a reblog working on it NOW! Amazing, great 👍 job
This is the reason why your own writing is so good, Tony, and why the document in front of that ‘writing guru’ will remain blank. I’ve seen so much ‘writing advice’ out there, do this, don’t do that, blah blah, yadda yadda – and I’ve also seen something which simply says ‘just write’. Write when you can find the time, when your day’s just fallen apart because of a domestic emergency, when one of the thousands of bad scenarios has arrived at your door and needs fixing. Just write, and make the writing about all those experiences, because without them there’s nothing. Read too, the books of others filled with their experiences, to help hone your skills. That’s it. Thanks, Tony. 😎
As well as providing ‘sterile’ rules, i read these rules and think ‘nope, not getting up at 5am’. Glad to see you remind us there is another, better way. I also think we need to be out there experiencing life not locked away
Couldn’t agree more – you can’t relate living outside the bubble
I like the way you think (and write)!
“Suspiciously clean desk.” Love that. Great post, Tony.
I bet the same person probably plans out the whole book before writing. Obviously nothing wrong with that, horses for courses. I think I identify with my characters, so a bit shambolic, always in trouble for something, making it up as I go along and absolutely no idea where it’ll end 😂
I write the same way – I personally think it’s more fun and leads to more authentic storytelling!
oh! i love it 🙂
Even factories don’t work like that.
guess I just waisted 10 hours
Hahaha
Well damn. All that Udemy money could have gone towards…beer.
Hahah yeahhhhhh well if you go to the bar I’ll meet you
Right ✌️well shared
Well said! And thanks for the reminder. Life is messy, embarrassing and sometimes brutal. If our characters live charmed lives thoughout the story, there would be no fun in reading about it.
So true. So I should rejoice in my messy life, grand plans shot to hell and all that. Cat throwing up just as I’m about to finally get to sit down and write. I might just feel a little differently about it now thanks to you.
So happy you do!!
Good stuff! Bookmarked 😎👌
I think there is, too no perfect writers routine and you gotta go with the flow. I have never much thought of either becoming “a writer.” How to navigate multiple writing styles ? And then the business of it ?
I actually really lvoed your post – after because I noticed that I had tried so much focusing on one writing style that I totally forget and forgot to lean into life – and let other people inspire me. I never thoght of this actaully – i also had music then inspire and influence my writing.
or that writing can also evoke feelings – i felt super confronted reading your contents but then really liked it somehow.
so happy to hear!!
Hi tony, I am not sure yet, would you be interested to open up a marketing company? I actualy dont share much of my actaul work on my blog – that I may/shalll do. Since 4 years I developed different approaches to business consulting and markteting focusing on imaginary, symbolic and the real – I have already implemented them as business english teacher, and they are working. MAybe you can help me, but I dont want to sell – the theories either, they are pretty smart.