“I just… I can’t… I can’t deal with these fuckin’ people… they’re idiots!”

She said it, each note higher than the last.

There I was, minding my own business, watching TV, when a work bomb was dropped on me.

My roommate had just rushed into the room, threw her bag  and started yelling.

“I swear I work with the most stupid people on Earth!”

I looked from my roommate to the TV, paused it, and sighed.

There was going to be no watching.

As it turns out, my roommate has the unfortunate luck of being human—and, you know… working with humans.

Because humans, myself included, are annoying.

We say the wrong thing. We get on each other’s nerves, and we walk into the room right when the show is getting good.

She’s a project manager and at work there’s a lot of back and forth where apparently nobody can make up their mind.  And what’s on paper as “just a job” has quickly turned into something personal to the point where she’s more exhausted from work than from running a marathon.

She sinks into the couch and pulls out her phone, her eyes scanning an email thread.

And here’s where I make my mistake.

Instead of just listening, I say something true.

“There are only two ways to fix a problem: your attitude… or your actions.”

She didn’t love that.

Most people don’t.

Because it sounds simple—and simple feels insulting when you’re frustrated.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth:

Much of your life, you don’t control.

You don’t control people.
You don’t control outcomes.
You barely control your day half the time.

But what you do control is how you interpret what’s happening… and what you choose to do next.

 

Your attitude is the filter.

If you want to change your life, it begins with changing one simple thing:

Changing your attitude.

Because your attitude is the filter you use to process your experiences—
and the label you assign to them.

Take the annoying coworker.

10 out of 10 people have one.

I have 3.

Same behavior. Same situation.

Completely different experiences depending on the story.

If your filter is negative:

“They’re incompetent.”
“They’re making my life harder.”

Now everything they do confirms that.

You notice more mistakes.
You get more irritated.
Your stress shows up before your coffee does.

And eventually, it spreads.

You don’t just hate the coworker—you start hating the job.
You bring it home.
You’re shorter with people.
And the next day is ruined before it even begins.

Now shift it—just a little.

“They’re annoying… but they’re human.”
“This probably isn’t personal.”
“No one’s perfect. It’s just a job. I don’t need to care this much.”

Same coworker.

But now you let more go.
You react less.
You move on faster.

The situation didn’t change.

But your experience of it did.

And this is where a better attitude actually helps.

It forces you to accept the truth we all know but willfully ignore.

You can only change you… not what happens to you.

Say there’s a change in leadership at your company—or even a change in administration in the country.

Do you really think your day-to-day life suddenly becomes dramatically different?

Maybe a little.

Maybe worse.

But for most people?

Not meaningfully.

You still have to wake up.
You still have to go to work.
You still have to deal with the same types of problems.

And that’s not pessimistic.

It’s clarifying.

Because once you realize how little you control out there…

You start paying attention to what you do control:

Your attitude.
Your effort.
Your actions.

And that’s where your leverage is.

Once you realize that you’re the only one who can change your situation…

it becomes a lot harder to sit around doing nothing.

 

We start with attitude because attitude drives action

And action is where your life actually changes.

It’s you physically performing the tasks that you get you a new result.

You can have the most “positive mindset” in the world, but if you don’t do anything differently, nothing changes.

At the same time, if your attitude sucks, your actions will too.

You procrastinate.
You avoid.
You complain instead of solve.

And you stay stuck—and then wonder why nothing improves.

In my own life, my goal is to publish my book.

And publishing a book, traditionally publishing a book is hard.

Because it’s mainly things that are out of my control.

If I approach that fact with a negative mindset, the story is easy:

“No one’s going to want this.”
“It’s probably not good enough.”
“What’s the point?”

And with that attitude, my actions follow:

I don’t submit it.
I don’t reach out.
I don’t try.

Problem solved—by never giving it a chance to succeed.

But with a better attitude—not blind optimism, just something grounded—

“Maybe it’s not perfect, but it’s worth a shot.”
“Other people have figured this out. Why not me?”

Now the actions change:

I submit to agents.
I talk to other writers.
I put myself out there.

Same goal.

Different filter.

Completely different outcome.

 

Here’s the full circle most people avoid:

Shit is always going to happen.

People will be difficult.
Plans will fall apart.
You’ll have days where everything feels off.

There is no version of life where that goes away.

And no—you’re not going to feel good 100% of the time.

You’re human.

You’re built to feel frustration, anger, doubt—all of it.

The goal isn’t to eliminate those feelings.

It’s to not let them drive the car.

Acknowledge how you feel.

Then choose what you focus on.

Because at the end of the day, nearly every problem you face comes down to this:

The story you tell yourself…
and the actions you take because of it.

Change those two things—

and you change almost everything.

 

 

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