“Wake up at 5:30 a.m.”
“Film three videos every day.”
“Read 100 books a year.”
It’s 7:00 a.m., and my eyes haven’t fully opened yet, but somehow a guy I’ve never met has already decided I’m wasting my life.
That’s life in 2026.
“Train seven days a week.”
“Journal.”
“Meditate.”
“Cold plunge.”
“Take a dopamine detox.”
I haven’t even brushed my teeth.
Still… like a sucker, I keep scrolling.
“The secret to attracting a partner is being indifferent.”
“If you want a happy marriage…”
I click the profile and find what you’d expect. The creator is twenty-four, single, and has never been married… the perfect person to give that advice.
I keep scrolling.
“Build a personal brand.”
“Share what you know.”
“Create a course.”
“Monetize your passion.”
At this point, I’ve been told what to do so many times that I’ve forgotten what I wanted to do.
I toss my phone onto the couch as one observation starts to piss me off.
Somewhere along the way, the internet stopped sharing ideas and started handing out instructions.
Nobody says,
“This worked for me.”
They say,
“This is what you need to do.”
Nobody says,
“I could be wrong.”
Nobody says,
“Maybe you’re different.”
Everyone has the answer.
Not an answer.
The answer.
The one that apparently works for everyone.
And if you’re not careful, after enough scrolling, something strange starts to happen.
You stop asking yourself what you want and start asking why your life doesn’t look like everyone else’s.
The Danger of Confident Content
This reminds me of a friend I grew up with.
I love the guy.
He’s funny, athletic, and the kind of person everyone naturally likes.
But every few years, he magically becomes someone else.
First, he was the fitness guy.
Then martial arts.
Now he’s a content creator.
If history tells me anything, six months from now there will probably be another version of himself.
And I’m not shitting on someone trying new hobbies or finding themselves.
I do that too.
But what bothered me wasn’t that he kept changing hobbies.
It was that every new hobby came with a new personality.
Every new interest told him who he should be.
And after enough of those, it became hard to tell where he ended, and everyone else began.
In other words, he forgot who he was.
This whole cycle, and this whole do-it-my-way, as my father would say, “Makes my ass itch.”
Because there’s something truly remarkable about someone who hasn’t figured out their own life telling other people how to live theirs.
It’s one thing to share what worked for you.
It’s another to package your opinion as universal truth.
Think how crazy this actually is:
Some stranger who’s never met you, lived your life, carried your insecurities, experienced your childhood, or wrestled with your personality somehow feels qualified to tell you exactly how to live.
And the craziest part?
Most of them haven’t figured out their own lives either.
They’re just one chapter ahead of somebody else.
Sometimes not even that.
Because the internet rewards certainty, not wisdom.
Wisdom would say:
“It depends.”
Or…
“This worked for me.”
But certainty gets the clicks.
Which is why we see it.
Make This Promise
So if you’re like me and this drives you crazy, here’s the promise I’d make to yourself.
Learn from people.
Borrow ideas.
Steal techniques.
Experiment.
Change your mind.
Try new things.
But don’t outsource the biggest decision you’ll ever make:
Who you are.
Because you can’t live anyone’s life except your own.
And every hour you spend chasing someone else’s definition of success is an hour you’re not discovering your own.
Take it from me, the world doesn’t need another copy.
It needs the version of you that would’ve existed if you’d stopped asking everyone else who you should become.
Because after all that scrolling…
The one voice you should trust the most was yours all along.
Please like, comment, share, and tell me what you think! Do you agree? P.S. I wrote a book, and I’d love it if you read it. Available on Amazon, it’s a family dramaedy that’s funny, sad, and full of life lessons. P.P.S. If you read my book, if you could leave a review, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks so much!!
Get the book here:
Amazon.com: Letters From Jasper: 9798996718023: Winn, Anthony: Books
Nothing makes me click out of a site/video/post/etc quicker than those phrases. When I see “You HAVE to do this” or something similar, I assume it’s horse shit and move on to the next one. Loved this post, Tony!
Thank you! I’m gonna send you a shovel and together we’ll remove all this damn horse shit! I appreciate you my friend
Absolutely fantastic.
Brilliant use of words that all needed to be used and said. Now tell me Sir, how do I change my life? 🙂 I jest of course. Your advice is so true. We need ro be true to ourselves.
Made me laugh !
Gotta be true to ourselves- thank you so much for reading
“Everyone has the answer. Not an answer. The answer.”
Yes! It irks me, too. Getting inundated with all this “confident content” (great way to put it!) across multiple platforms can make anyone insecure, even when they’re not actively trying to grow an audience. Or, it can make us feel like we’re constantly being preached to, in voices that sound more and more alike (at least that’s what I’m experiencing in my feeds and subscriptions).
Like you’re suggesting, I try to post out of a love for words and a desire to be honest–who I actually am–and I simply hope that someone might find what I share relatable. I certainly don’t have all the answers, and I have zero wishes to present myself like I do. How exhausting that would be! So, thank you for this post. It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Congrats again on your book!
Thank you so much! We’re all in this together
I used to have a popular instagram account, you know what I found the most scary? I was much younger, so I didn’t see AT ALL that it had changed me. I thought that was me. It was art, none of this I get up at 4am and dunk my face in ice water thing, it was just me posting my art. At the beginning I only ever did art I was passionate about and cared about. But without noticing I’d started to do art that pleased everyone else.
I realised it randomly one day, like I’m not being myself anymore. It’s a value of mine to be authentic always, it’s why my blog is the way it is. Without knowing at all, I was acting outside of this value on Instagram.
Anyway once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it and I ended up just closing that Instagram account and continued doing art only for me. That art I did away from my account, after I had left, is my favourite, and actually ive had prints done to put it on my walls in my flat. It became a bit symbolic honestly, my favourite art is on the walls of my flat, not on the walls of social media.
Well I’m proud of you – that takes courage, serious courage
Love this!!♥️♥️♥️
Thank you so much Shaun! We love you on this side of the cellphone!!!
But seriously, I can’t stand strangers telling me how I should live -drives me crazy!!!
So arrogant.
😅😂💕
Great post! Seems everyone is worried about the programming for AI, all the while THEY are being programmed.
And that is why I deleted social media. It’s so overwhelming and exhausting!
Agree it can be
So true! I always thought this about Life Coaches – I’m like “Aren’t YOU still on your first one? So how do I know you’re doing it right if you haven’t finished even one yet?”
And the idea that people are different is SO important, and yet so often we all jump on the next thing that is going to help us lose weight, or gain muscle, or grow hair back (ooh, I WISH!) even though we may only have the proof of one person to go by. Thanks for the reminder!
That’s so funny about the life coaches – so darn true
I stop scrolling a few years ago and it’s such a great decision I’ve ever made. I define my success and I’m sure it looks like a failure for some, but it’s mine.🤩I like your thoughts, Anthony. Also, I like writing that starts with “I” not “you.”
Well written and well said. It is important to remember that every man and every woman is a star
Absolutely
Great advice, Tomy
Thank you so much!!
Tony!
LOL – this was funny! I think people tell us what to do, because as an instinctive they HOPE to become so popular they make millions of dollars and RETIRE early. Anyhow, I get in scrolling moods and like you say, realize it’s a waste of my time and keeps me from making progress in my writing or drawing, etc. At the same time, we do need to scroll a “little bit” to know what’s going on in our field; unfortunately, we can’t JUST look at what we want… social media throws all sorts of things at us that we didn’t want to see or know about, right. Thanks for the chuckle and reminder to enjoy summer the old fashioned way. 😉
Man, I’ve been feeling this HARD recently. I’ve been scrolling because it’s easy, but I always feel so empty afterwards and I hate that feeling. It’s not just the comparison, but eroding my attention away and leaving feeling much dumber than when I started. Great post!
So happy you enjoyed! I think we’re all feeling this!
Social media is a little like junior high cliques on steroids, but spanning into adulthood. I love the ads for a product and then just under them in comments, “this product saved my soul (life, ass, hair, bald spot, drooping boobs, etc.) I wonder if some people will simply never discover who they are because they are so busy trying to be someone important…?
I wonder the same darn thing
Wow, Tony. You have hit the nail on the head this time. Brilliant. It’s the self-righteousness, the hubris that gets me: I have the cure, the knowledge, the power, the solution, the answer to your every problem. Just hand over your credit card, more often than not.
So true! I’ll help you figure it out… for a small fee … smh
I found your book Letters From Jasper.
Really hope you enjoy! Thank you
Thiiiissssss 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 varying levels of consumption disguised as interweb self help.
Agreed
Having grown up in a time before the world wide web was cast over the human race, my favorite memories are the ones where we interacted with each other physically and face-to-face, without the interference of these tech devices. I agree with everything you’ve written here, Tony. The internet is not conducive to our natural way of life. I see a lot of lonely, desperate people, looking outside themselves for answers that can only be found within. Personally, I find comfort living on the fringe of society, but not because I can’t fit in, rather because I don’t want to.
I love this response and miss the time before social media took over everything
Wise words!!!
Thank you so much!!
Oh no this one resonates too deeply with me haha ❤️
So happy it does!
i scrolled through all the comments – now i forgot what i wanted to say – well done!
Thank you so much!!