Allow me to rant?
I believe America is the greatest country in the world. Why? Is it the fast food? The crowded water parks? A man jumping the Grand Canyon? No. America is great because we give power to the people. (In theory) And I’d like to use my power to make a change through vote.
This is what I’m voting for:
I’m voting for the little gas stations across the nation to start stocking up on double-ply toilet paper and remove that cheap cardboard catastrophe they pawn off on us in the stall. Sure, recycling is great… but at what cost?
I’m voting for married wives to ease up on their criticism of their husbands’ tone. These men signed up to be married, not to sing in a musical.
I’m voting for gas stations to stop requiring a key to use the bathroom. We all know the attendants are drunk with power judging us to see if we’re worthy or not to sit on their precious throne. Newsflash, It’s a bathroom on route 86, not the Taj-Mahal. Who cares who uses it? (Maybe don’t let the truckers)
I’m voting for people to stop talking to me about lines. “Can you believe how long that line is?” “Can you believe how short the line was?” Yes, I can believe it.
Speaking of believing, I’m voting for people to stop asking me if I believe this weather we’re having. Yes, I believe the weather we’re having. The weather would have to do something impossible for me not to believe it – even then, I likely would still cling to my belief.
I’m voting for the crybabies who threaten to move out of America if their candidate doesn’t win to move out without posting a status about it. We don’t need any more theatrics, we have the news for that.
I’m voting for people to stop handing out their political opinions on social media like Jocks handing out wedgies to nerds in my 1960’s high school analogy. Ouch.
I’m voting for people to only share their political beliefs with, you know… people who ask for them!
I’m voting for people to make up their mind about what they want to eat BEFORE they arrive at the restaurant so all parties involved can get 5 minutes of their life back.
I’m voting for people to realize anytime you ask a waiter, “is this good?” they’re likely to say yes.
I’m voting for McDonald’s to bring back the supersize option. I do not believe other people’s lack of self-control has the right to infringe on my lack of self-control. Do you think not being to order a supersize big mac will stop me from ordering two big macs? Not in America, it won’t.
I’m voting for Fathers to stop blaming their children for losing the TV remote when we all know damn-well the father is likely sitting on it.
I’m voting for people to stop sharing their progress pics on social media. Yes, I’m happy for you. No, I don’t want to see it.
I’m voting for people to stop making voluntary workouts seem mandatory. We have enough bullshit as is; please spare us yours.
I’m voting to end all gender reveal parties. The only thing they reveal is how little people want to be there.
I’m voting for all hot tubs to be in the shape of an octagon, so more people have access to the crème de-la-creme corner seat.
Most importantly, I’m voting for kindness. The world is crazy and cold enough as it is. It’s about time we all collectively turn the other cheek and make an effort to be kind to strangers and treat our neighbors with love and respect.
What are you voting for? Please like, comment, and share.