The Amazon Prime Truck
Just when you’re two minutes away from home, one of Bezos’s best decides to turn the road into their own personal parking lot. Never mind that it’s rush hour. Never mind that there’s a driveway just begging for someone to park in it. These trucks will park anywhere they damn well please. Little did you know that Prime has more power than the police, and they control traffic better, too.
Someone Crossing a Busy Road Without a Crosswalk
Crosswalks be damned, these people part traffic like they’re Moses and the Red Sea. You’ll see them stranded in the middle of the road, like Gilligan on his island, looking helpless in an easily helped situation. Never mind that the crosswalk is a mere 100 yards away; these daredevils cross any road wherever they damn well please. They live to play a live-action version of Frogger, with your car as the moving obstacle.
Impatient People at Crosswalks
Their heads crane side to side, trying to get a better view. But no matter how hard they strain, they’ll never control the uncontrollable — traffic. Cousins to those bastards who cross anywhere they damn well please, these folks at least attempt to use the crosswalk. Attempt being the keyword. You’ll find them impatiently waiting, trying to get a head start, foot-in-road, risking life and limb for those precious few seconds.
Bicyclists
Ah, the people on two wheels who think they’re cars. Experience the panic of driving alongside a biker, praying they don’t crash into your car. Live the thrill of receiving a dirty look as you gingerly try to pass them, their impatience seeping through your windshield. Watch your side view mirrors as they slip into your blind spot at the red light. Dance the awkward dance of deciding who gets to go first. Good times.
People Who Don’t Use Turn Signals
Nothing says presumptuous, like changing lanes without a signal. The balls on these people. Changing a lane without a turn signal is like changing lifespans — yours. They might as well hang a sign that says, “I’m Eric Cartman; I do what I want,” but in this case, their actions speak louder than words.
People Who Speed Up When You Try to Pass
Normally docile creatures, these people find all their adrenaline the moment you try to merge into their lane. Never mind that speeding up won’t make their commute faster — the next red light will ensure that. These crazy competitors can’t stand second place, no matter the cost of gas. They’re the Usain Bolts of the highway, minus the gold medals.
People Who Ride Your Ass
If you weren’t wearing pants, they’d drive right in. You can already feel your neck ache from the inevitable rear-end collision. These tailgaters are so close you might as well ask them to pay your insurance. Or invite them to your wedding.
Mr. Bumper Sticker
They wear their morals on their bumper, all 26 of them. The only people to call for world peace while flipping you off. You’d have something to read if their slow, turtle-like driving didn’t make your vision blur. From “Coexist” to “My Kid is an Honor Student,” their car is a rolling diary you never asked to read.
Please, like, comment, share and tell me what you think! Who am I missing? Let me know in the comments.
Yes, sir! All of those people are highly annoying!!! Glad you see that too.
There’s no bonding quite like mutual annoyance
I really love this post, though have to admit guilty (only occasionally though) on two counts – Oh, and I’m not a cyclist.
OMG, I love this post. those drivers are most annoying. I had another one the other day. Oncoming car is indicating to turn right into my road. I’m indicating to go right, I pull out and he almost hits me because he is now going straight on. And, of course, turned off his indicator as I started turning!
Oh jeeze, that would piss me off too!
And this is why I’m so glad I work from home and I very rarely drive much these days.
I hate driving and it’s mainly because of most of these people you mentioned. 😂🤣😆
I know i WFH 3 days a week, it is nice – honestly my favorite employee benefit!
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Nailed it! Every single one! And let’s add the guy who has to go 60mph in a 30mph swerving around everyone to jocky in front just to get to the red light first!
“People who don’t use turn signals” I want all of them in jail right now. 😂🤣
It’s so annoying – it takes 2 seconds
Nice post!
Thank you so much!
Well said, Tony!
Thank you so much!
Sounds like road rage at it’s finest. Make all of them use public transit!
it be nice that’s for sure!
People Who Don’t Use Turn Signals, People who ride your ass, and Bicyclists are also the one who annoy me too. I’d add, people who slow down for the off ramp 5 miles before the GD Off ramp. People who can’t pick a speed, either go the speed limit and not 20-30-20-10-5-20 and then 40. And people who pull out in front of you when there’s no traffic behind you. They couldn’t wat to get in front of you and then go 10-20 clicks under the speed limit.
You know that Staples Button that makes things happen when you push it. We need one in cars that either make the bad person get deleted from time, or shoot rockets.
All of these! But the ones that annoy me the most are the ones who speed up when you try to pass them and the ones who refuse to use turn signals and they always slow down at the last second to turn! Very annoying. Now, the ones who frighten me the most are the “frogger” people and bicyclists.😩
They’re all the worst, I think I get most mad at when you try to change lanes and the person speeds up making the situation more dangerous for everyone on the road
Lol great list except the flip side of impatient pedestrians at the crosswalk are the impatient drivers who have a lead foot at the intersections- they drive up to the intersection as you are already crossing with the light and try to turn the corner as you are getting there. Definitely nerve-wracking!
The fucker who won’t go the speed limit, and won’t use the turnouts. Sorry, Geiger Grade rage here.
Hahah I get it
About those people who cross the street anywhere they please … doesn’t it often seem like they are walking a slowly as it is possible to walk without actually standing still? And my ex BIL never used turns signals. I asked him why once. He said it was because when he let people know what he was about to do, it gave them the opportunity to cut him off. I had to grant him that one even though I still thought it was dangerous. As for the rest of it … yeah … just yeah.
Oh, look. Most of them are on my own way to the office every damn day 🙋🏻♀️
Brilliant! And how about people who park on pavements forcing pedestrians to walk sideways?
The worst!
Love it! How about the driver you passed swerves back in front of you and slows down and speeds back up when you try to pass. Burns me up! STUPID!
drives me crazy!!
I think insane drives come from another planet! And I wish they’d all go back before they kill us!!