The Confused Face
“Wait… what?”
You mean… you mean… that… that… milk really isn’t milk?
The Sly Grin
I know something you don’t know.
And guess what—if you click this video, I might tell you.
Or even better, I’ll use this video to tease a course and sell you a course.
The course will tell you something you already know.
The Hand Over the Mouth
Are you shocked… or did a Hot Pocket just burn a hole in the roof of your mouth?
Hard to tell.
Both faces are the same face.
The “Wait… WHAT?” Face
“Dude… what the f*ck. I can’t… no… I won’t believe it’s not butter.”
It’s butter.
It was always butter.
The “I Know Something You Don’t” Smirk
You can see the quiet knowing in their eyes.
The mischief. The superiority.
The silent acknowledgment that yes—on this side of the screen—they know something you don’t.
And if you weren’t being such a complete f*cking sap and just clicked the video…
you might know too.
The Covering-My-Mouth Shock
“Helen… you’ll never believe it. Pompeii went up again.”
The MrBeast Extreme Face
Why do you look like someone told you you won the lottery, lost the lottery,
and then became the lottery—all at once?
The Pointing at Literally Anything Guy
[no further comment necessary]
The Mouth Ajar Face
“I… just… saw my… saw my… father naked.”
“…with your father.”
The Before/After Spiritual Awakening
Before sucked.
Walked uphill to school. Walked uphill back home. The world was black and white.
After rules.
After learning this one easily researched secret, I don’t even go to school anymore.
Also I’m in color now.
The Picture of Something More Interesting Than the Actual Video
“Wait—you have footage of a live alien singing from a palm tree?”
Oh.
It’s just some guy talking.
The I-Think-I-Just-Drank-Expired-Milk Face
“You don’t wanna eat that… err… shit… oh no.”
The Hands-on-Face, Mouth-Ajar Face
Did he just see Godzilla?
Or did he just get a ticket for disturbing the peace?
The face does not distinguish between these two events.
The Boy-Am-I-Confused Face
Wait… this completely normal thing was secretly wrong?
What are they gonna tell me next—aliens are real?
(cut to thumbnail of a guy pointing at the sky, mouth open)
Please like, comment, share, and tell me what you think. What did I miss?
Follow me on substack here: (3) Tonysbologna | Anthony Robert | Substack
Going to YouTube now reminds me of going through the grocery checkout in the 1970s with National Enquirer, Tattler, et al screaming seductive, hair-raising tales. Hmph, the more things change the more they stay the same, I reckon.
That’s so true! It’s all human nature I reckon – same core ideas updated for the medium.
Everyone wants views, Sir because views pays the bills these days and that’s why such taglines and thumbnails are there even though it’s not required. But that’s how it is these days. Times have changed and earlier people would open up YouTube to find the answers to complex questions but now it’s the opposite, people don’t want answers, they want theories behind those answers making them more complex.
So true – ha I think I might start making. Videos!
You should, Sir 🌻
Think I will
Absolutely spot on! Still giggling.
So happy you enjoyed thank you for reading
So spot on!
Thank you so so much!
I’ve honestly asked the very same thing. In addition, I am so tired of all of the dramatic music and reactions from these so called influencers on YouTube.
Me too my friend
Never thought I’d laugh at written comedy!
This made my day!! Thank you
Lol these are delightful… you really picked the best of the best
So happy you enjoyed! Thank you for reading
I’m pretty sure you’ve covered all the bases (faces)!
hahah thank you my friend