It starts with a promise.
“Come in at 3:15,” the barber says, his voice filled with the kind of confidence that makes you believe him.
Shaggy-haired and hopeful, you smile, knowing your hat-wearing days are numbered. Just one more hour of public humiliation, and you’ll have the illusion of a fresh start that only a fresh haircut can bring.
At 3:15, you stomp into the barber shop with optimism and plop down in the waiting area. The guy in the chair is somehow shaggier than you — a small victory — and the barber is locked in, snipping away like a cattleman shearing a stuffed sheep. You smile to yourself. This guy must be good.
You glance at your watch. No worries, he must be finishing up. I’ll just finish this YouTube video, you think, pacifying yourself.
A friend texts you:
“Do you want to game?”
“No — getting a haircut. Should be on in an hour.”
“Cool — hit me up.”
And that was the second lie you were part of that day.
By 3:30, you notice something troubling: the guy in the chair doesn’t look any different. Not a single hair seems shorter. A wave of irritation rises in your chest and falls in your eyes. You squint, trying to figure out what the Hell could be taking so long.
Then the chair turns, and Shaggy locks eyes with you. It’s an awkward moment, made worse when your mouth betrays you.
“…Just, uh, checking out your haircut,” you mumble, hoping you don’t sound like a creep while absolutely sounding like a creep. You retreat into your phone, suddenly hyper-aware of your existence.
Alright, let’s scroll X for a bit. That’ll help.
The first post you see: “U.S. approves long-range missiles for Ukraine.”
Now, shaggy-haired and stuck waiting, you’re spiraling into thoughts about World War III and whether you should start stockpiling bottled water. You know — the kind of happy thoughts everyone wants to have while waiting for a haircut.
By 3:45, your legs are bouncing with impatience, tapping off the floor. The barber and Shaggy are laughing like old friends. The barber — easily ten years older — is nodding along as Shaggy brags about his “wild” sexual exploits. It’s likely fiction, but he delivers it with such confidence that it comes across as fact. He is in fact a master of the mouth.
At 3:50, you realize you’re thirsty.
You thought you’d be done by now — home, admiring your fresh cut, maybe even gaming with your friend. Instead, your ass is still planted in the waiting chair, wondering if leaving for water would cost you your spot. Life is all about choices, and this one is pissing you off.
At 4:00, the situation escalates: you have to pee. Of course, there’s no bathroom in sight because that’s just how these places work. So you cross your legs and double down on your phone, scrolling furiously, becoming somewhat of an expert on WW3.
By 4:15, a miracle occurs: the turtle has finally finished cutting Shaggy’s hair — a full hour later. You feel what you think is hope again.
But then Shaggy stands, hands the barber his phone, and asks for a picture.
What follows is a 10-minute photo shoot: angles, lighting adjustments, promises to “promote the shop to my friends” — all of which you know will never happen.
Finally, at 4:25, Shaggy leaves. You shuffle to the chair and sit your ass down, suppressing the primal urge to scream.
The barber asks, “So what’ll it be today?”
“Will you please just cut my fuckin’ hair?”
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think. Has this happened to you?
LOL I think we’ve all felt this…while waiting, not so patiently, on someone.
Hahah it’s the annoyance that bonds us all
Yes! 🙌 Just cut my hair.
It feels good when it’s down
When it’s done**
It does. I agree. I’m not a chit-chat kinda person.
You’re such a fun story-teller. I love it! Haven’t experienced this myself (thank God).
Thank you so much! So happy you enjoyed!!
A really hairy story but I’m bald so I have no clue what you’re talking about.
Bald is beautiful
Isn’t that sort of thing irritating? You tell it well. 🙂
It is! Thank you so much for reading!
You’re welcome. 🙂
Haha! Try waiting for another client to finish getting their locs retwisted while you know you already have a 3-4 hour interlocking/retightening locs appointment ahead of you. 😂🤣😆
Oh man I’d be going crazy Forsure
I’m a patient person, so it doesn’t really bother me. I knew what I signed up for when I started my locs journey. Lol!
That’s the best way to be -it is fun if you like your hairdresser / barber – I feel like they have a fun job talking to people all day
It is DEF fun. We watch movies and laugh or shout at the TV. It’s a great experience each time. 😂🤣😆
There you go! Yeah that does sound fun – I might need to change my barber
This . . . is why I don’t cut my hair.
I loved the story, you had me in suspense and reminded me of my recent wait for my doctor’s appointment last week, though definitely in a much more creative and fun way!
So happy you enjoyed, thank you so much!
Very fun story. Remind me never to go to that barber’s shop!
Thank you so much!
This was me at the bank two weeks ago! The lady on Counter 5 said half an hour before closing, “I’m sorry, we just had to let the seniors first.” Now, I have no problems with letting seniors first, but I soon learned that Friday is when most seniors go to the bank. They dedicate their whole Friday getting their account issues fixed. So I just gave the lady an out-of-it nod. What else could I do?
That’s about all you can!! Been there
Read Mark Twain’s short story about The Barbers. You can relate.
Oh I need to check that out!
Waiting might be one of the worst feelings in the world for me
But somehow I don’t mind being waited for.🤔
What does that make me??
Makes you human just like everyone else hahah
Maybe we all are having the same experience both in salons and barber shops universally. Cause same.
Dude, should’ve gone to Supercuts. Same wait time less the expectation of prompt service.