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The Three Most Important Life Lessons My Mother Taught Me

Merry Christmas!

One of the struggles I have as an adult is deciding what to give my Mom for Christmas.

If I’m being honest, after a certain age, most people have pretty much everything they need.

  • New purse? My Mom has dozens.
  • Kitchen appliances? Handled.
  • Clothes? A full wardrobe.

So I’ve taken the coward’s way out and started to give the gift that never gets returned: Cold, hard cash.

As I was at the ATM calling my mom to confirm just what she wanted for Christmas (all the while withdrawing cash), she threw me a curveball that would turn into this very sentence. She just wanted me to write her something.

After all, personal gifts are worth more than gold.

So… here we are, and I welcome you to my Christmas gift:

The Three Most Important Life Lessons My Mother Taught Me

  1. The squeaky wheel gets the grease

Growing up, I often heard my mom say, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” At the time, this phrase made my mind race to those awful grocery carts with annoying wheels that squeaked like scared pigs. But over time, this lesson grew to have a whole new meaning:

If you want something, you have to speak up.

You have to make noise.

You have to demand attention.

Life doesn’t hand out opportunities for fun—it hands them out to the people who demand it.

Because like it or not, the loudest, most persistent voice usually wins.

This lesson has defined my life in ways I never expected. From switching careers to becoming a full-time copywriter, to landing freelance gigs, to writing and promoting my first book to the top of Amazon’s bestseller list—every single one of these victories started with me being that annoying, squeaky wheel.

So, how do you use it?

It’s simple: when you want something, ask.

Make noise. Demand attention.

If you’re at work and want a promotion, be the squeaky wheel. If you’re looking for a break, raise your hand.

The world isn’t fair, and it’s on you to be the squeaky wheel of your own life.

 

  1. Take responsibility

Growing up, I was fortunate enough to get a car when I turned 16. The deal was that my parents and I would both make payments on it. Since I didn’t have any credit, my mom co-signed, and we set up a joint bank account where I would wire her money, and she would make the payments.

This worked out fine—until it didn’t.

Sometime after my 18th birthday, I got the kind of letter you never want to receive in the mail. The kind that said, “You’ve been missing payments, and if we don’t collect, your car will be repossessed.”

To say the least, I was afraid, confused, and oh-so pissed.

I called my mom. “Mom! What’s going on with my car? They say we haven’t been making payments!”

My mom replied with a lesson I hated in the moment but have grown to appreciate:

“You’re an adult and you need to be responsible for your finances.”

And just like that, I learned firsthand the importance of staying on top of my finances and, even better, being responsible for my life.

Now, this lesson might give Dave Ramsey a coma, and I’m sure it was hard for my mom, knowing she had intentionally pissed me off. But it’s a lesson many parents don’t give:

Be responsible for your life.

Today, I see many parents bailing their kids out, never letting them experience the pain of when things go sideways. They’d rather be a friend than a parent, which is short-term thinking and not the complete parenting package.

Being a parent means preparing your child for adult life. And adult life isn’t always smooth sailing. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes, bad things happen.  Sometimes life isn’t fair. You need to know how to deal with it.

I’ve always said you can tell people fire is hot, but sometimes—oftentimes—they won’t believe it until they feel the burn.

My mom taught me how to be responsible in a creative way—a lesson where I felt the burn, and I never forgot it.

I’m thankful for that.

  1. Be kind

Everyone thinks their mom is kind, and it usually makes me think about the Chris Rock bit:

“I made my kids breakfast!”

“Ain’t that what you’re supposed to do?”

But the more life experience you get, the more you realize not everyone had it easy. Not everyone had kind parents.

I’m lucky that I did.

But it’s easy to be kind at home. It’s not easy to make a career out of kindness.

From being an ICU nurse to working in hospice care, my mom built a career on being kind both personally and professionally.  People call her when they have problems because she won’t judge them, and that makes people feel safe.

This is not easy to do.

Kindness is a quality I think is more rare than we’d all hope for.

And even though it annoyed me at times when my mom stayed late to help people, her kindness is something I look for in others and try to emulate myself.

She taught me kindness is strength.

Because the reality is, it’s harder to be kind. It’s harder to be understanding. It’s harder to turn the other cheek, especially when you get the short end of the stick more times than you’d care to admit.

But these qualities make for stronger character.

And in my opinion, sets a true Christian example.

We’re all broken people in various states of distress.

Some are better at hiding it than others, but we all have holes that need filling. Kindness is how you patch people up.

This is a lesson I cherish.

 

Full Circle

 

There are so many more lessons I could write about, but I’d need a novel to fit them all. The truth is, you’ve shaped me in more ways than I can count. You’re the only person I know who truly gets my weird sense of humor, my crass streak, and my passion for storytelling.

I wish more people were like you and that’s about the highest compliment I can give.

Merry Christmas, Mom.

I love you.

—Your Squeaky Wheel of a Son

 

Please, like, comment, share and tell me what you think! What did your Mom or parent teach you?

42 thoughts on “The Three Most Important Life Lessons My Mother Taught Me”

  4. Oh my Son, I’m crying as I type this. Thank you for the best present in the world!

    Reply

  7. I’m so glad you had that growing up, it’s more important than some of us realize. She sounds so wonderful and I wish the world had more of her for the ones who need it. Thank you for sharing this. Merry Christmas to you and her!

    Reply

  9. I just had one question (split into two, LOL!) . . . I read you were wiring your mom the money until you got 18 years old for your car. Were you still wiring your mom money for the car and she stopped paying but kept the money or did YOU stop wiring your mom the money for the car? I was confused on that.

    Sounds like you had a mom who wanted to make sure her son was going to be a “stand-up guy,” and from what I can tell, you are. Merry Christmas Eve, Tony!

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much!!! So basically she kept the money and gave it back to me and basically wanted me to learn to not expect other people to take care of my finances besides me which is something I didn’t like in the moment but appreciate now –

      Appreciate you reading as always my friend

      Reply

  12. This is so lovey, really made me smile!

    I guess the main lesson my mum taught me is to be positive. Not relentlessly, because sometimes life is hard and it’s okay to feel that. But even in the worst of times there’s always something good that happened. Life is never all bad.

    Throughout the year we write down all the good stuff that happens to us in notes and put it in a jar, watching it slowly fill up. And at Christmastime/New Year (the day varies depending on how busy we are) we open up the jar and read all the notes together. That way, no matter how hard it’s been, it’s always been a good year.

    Happy Christmas to you and everyone else reading this blog!

    Reply

  13. That’s beautiful!💗 I know your mom will cherish this much more than cash. On another note, I believe it’s time for me to take your mom’s advice and become a squeaky wheel. Honestly, it’s past time.🥴 Have a wonderful Christmas, Anthony!

    Reply
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