“We don’t have any goals and we don’t have any strategy.”

That’s what my friend told me over the phone, and for a second I wondered if I’d accidentally called the DMV.

But no, he was talking about his boss—an actual adult human, allegedly leading a team—who had just admitted that their entire department was basically winging it.

I felt a muted smile creep across my face.

“Damn, man.”

And for a moment, I debated whether I should tell him to start updating his LinkedIn.

But then he said something that surprised me.

“Yeah… it’s kind of f*cked up… but it actually made me like him.”

My face scrunched up.

“What? Why?”

“Well… I think this is the first time he was actually honest with me.”

And that’s when it hit me—the thing that’s missing from so many conversations about leadership.

It’s what actually makes people want to follow you—not because they’re paid to, or scared of you, but because they trust you.

Vulnerability.

The Problem with Leaders

Here’s the thing about leadership in America: we’ve been sold a bad movie script.

We’re told that leaders are supposed to be these stoic, square-jawed specimens of confidence and competence.

They’re war heroes.

Sports legends.

CEOs with hyper-specific morning routines and weird obsessions with cold plunges.

And sure, that hero act looks great on film.

But real life?

Real life is why people roll their eyes at Disney movies. Sure, the princess falls in love—but no one makes a movie about the part where, ten years later, the big romantic adventure is deciding whether to order Mexican or Chinese on a Tuesday night.

It’s just not cinematic.

Neither is leadership in real life.

The person running the IT department isn’t hacking into a server to stop a bomb from going off. They’re mostly making sure Gary in accounting doesn’t click a phishing email titled YOU’VE WON A FREE BOAT.

But because we’ve all been conditioned to expect the Hollywood version of leadership—always saying the right thing, exuding competence 24/7—we start to believe that looking uncertain or unsure is a fatal flaw.

And that fear of ever looking bad? That’s what turns otherwise decent people into the worst type of leader.

Micromanagers.

The Problem with Micromanagers

Micromanagers don’t hover because they love fonts and formatting.

They hover because they’re terrified.

Terrified of looking bad.

Terrified of getting blamed when something goes wrong.

Terrified that if they’re not personally approving every comma, someone will screw up and it’ll all land back on them.

They have the Hollywood version of leadership, so they cling to control. They insert themselves into everything. And in the process, they lose the very thing they need to lead well: trust.

The truth is, good leadership isn’t about having your fingers in every pie. It’s about saying, “Here’s the goal. Here’s the plan. Now go do your thing—and let me know how I can help.”

But doing that requires something that most insecure leaders are allergic to:

Vulnerability.

Vulnerability Isn’t Weakness

Vulnerability is the hidden quality of great leaders.

And I say hidden because most people think of vulnerability as weakness. But it’s actually the opposite. It’s the strength that glues everything together.

It’s being willing to say, “I don’t have this all figured out.”

It’s being the first one to admit, “Yeah, I’m struggling,” or “I don’t know, but let’s figure it out together.”

And ironically, that kind of honesty doesn’t make people lose respect for you—it makes them relate to you. And when you’re leading people, relatability is key. Because no one follows someone they can’t relate to.

So when my friend’s boss said he didn’t have a plan, it wasn’t some brilliant morale tactic. He was just being honest. Probably a little tired. Maybe a little desperate. But certainly real.

And that made my friend feel like—for the first time—he was working with a human being instead of a corporate robot spewing LinkedIn buzzwords.

The Real Reason People Follow You

Is Vulnerability.

That’s the secret.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s not about pretending to be invincible.

It’s about showing up as a human.
It’s about being honest when things are messy.
It’s about making space for people to trust you—not because you’re perfect, but because you’re real.

That’s what made my friend like his boss more, not less.

It was the first time his boss showed his human side.

And that was so powerful it stripped away the illusion—and replaced it with trust.

In reality, being vulnerable as a leader doesn’t mean that you need to spill your guts at every waking moment. But it does mean to be vulnerable by sharing who you are as a person and not just as a professional.

So people get to know you, and see you as a real person not just a figure.

And it’s the same quality that makes your writing better.

Vulnerability.

The more you share who you really are, the more readers will connect with your words.

Whether you’re leading a team or writing your next sentence, don’t be afraid to be human.

Because people don’t follow perfection. They follow what’s real.

Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think. Do you agree?

Never miss a blog post by following me here: (1) Tonysbologna | Anthony Robert | Substack