“What are you guys, a bunch of pussies?”

That’s what my 48-year-old boss said to me and my coworker on a Tuesday night in Toledo.

Well—“night” might be the wrong word.

Technically, it was Wednesday morning. Around 1:53 AM. But hey, who’s counting?

He pulled the cigarette from his mouth and flicked the ash onto the ground.

“Come on, guys! Let’s go.”

My coworker and I looked away.

“Nah, man—I’m beat. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Whatever, guys,” he muttered as he turned and stormed back into the bar.

He was pissed because we wanted to go back to our hotel.

You know, to sleep.

Like normal, functioning humans with jobs to do in the morning.

And it was in that exact moment I realized something:

I need to get the hell out of this job and figure out how to make writing my career.

Five years later, I still think about that night.

Not because it was funny—

but because it reminded me what’s really at stake.

The Motivation Fallacy

Everyone loves to talk about the “M” word.

Motivation.

We romanticize it.

We act like one day we’ll wake up, stretch our arms, and say,

“Ah yes, today’s the day I change my life forever.”

Like we’re light switches just waiting to be flipped.

But the reality is that moment rarely comes—and when it does, it doesn’t stick.

Because motivation is more like a flickering light bulb, working just often enough to let you down.

Think about it.

We all want to write the book.

Start the business.

Learn the skill.

We make big plans to wake up early and go after it.

But when the alarm goes off, we’re too tired.

Or not inspired.

Or our friends send us a video of some guy jumping off a roof into a kiddie pool, and—magically—it’s three hours later and we’ve done nothing but scroll.

Because we often fail to accept the truth.

Motivation is fleeting & distractions are forever.

Waiting until you feel motivated is a trap.

Because motivation usually disappears the second things get uncomfortable.

And anything worth doing is going to get uncomfortable.

So it’s easy to feel stuck.

But there is a way to keep going anyway.

And it requires one thing:

Remembering what’s at stake.

So… What’s at Stake?

Let’s reframe the question.

Whenever you want to feel motivated, don’t ask yourself, “What do I want?”

Ask yourself, “What happens if nothing changes?”

Take me. I was a writer, working a job in construction sales.

It wasn’t bad. Honestly, I liked a lot about sales. Still do.

But I had a boss who treated every business trip (and we had like six a month) like a frat party—dinner at 6, drinks at 8, shots by 10, clubs until 2 AM.

Then we’d show up to an 8 AM client meeting hungover acting like none of it happened.

Except it did happen. And I was exhausted.

Mentally checked out.

Starting to hate everything I used to enjoy.

I dreaded every trip.

And would feel anxious in the days leading up to them, counting the clock until I could go home.

So what was at stake for me?

My energy. My time. My creative work. My sense of direction.

So I made a change.

Pain > Comfort = Change

The truth is simple:

When the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing, you’ll move.

We don’t change because we “see the light.”

We change because we feel the heat.

And when you finally get honest about what’s at stake—when you really face the reality of what life looks like if nothing changes—it hits different.

That’s where real motivation comes from.

Not quotes on Instagram.

Not TED Talks.

Not some magical muse whispering in your ear.

But from clarity. Pain. Urgency.

Full Circle

You’re human.

You’re going to want to take the easy way out. Always.

But if you can get crystal clear on what’s at stake—what you’re really risking by doing nothing—you’ll have something better than motivation.

You’ll have purpose.

You’ll have a reason to get up when it’s hard.

A reason to push when it’s boring.

A reason to stop watching stupid videos and start building something that matters.

So ask yourself:

What happens if nothing changes?

Write it down.
Stare at it.
Feel it.
And then get to work.

Because you don’t need motivation.

You need a reason.

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