The Enthusiastic One
It’s all caps and all claps because everything is so darn exciting.
The enthusiastic one is the person who was born for one single purpose: the group chat.
Annoying it. Supporting it. Living it.
To them, every ping is a promise and every meme is a masterpiece just waiting for their attention.
Even though they’re silent in real life, you can feel their excitement radiating like a digital golden retriever who’s all too happy to fetch praise.
He’s the little engine that could… could test everyone’s patience with his earnestness.
The Person Who Wishes They Weren’t in a Group Text
You forget they’re there until one day their name flashes with a single, insicere “lol.”
Then, radio silence for months.
They don’t hate the others, exactly; they just don’t want to live this way …on the whims of eight other people and their childlike impulses.
At their core, they believe communication should be earned, not forced, and every time their phone buzzes, you can hear their soul silently sigh.
You can often find them venting one-on-one, whispering about how fucking annoying this chat is and their plans to get out.
The Leader
The glue. The diplomat. The crimson chin.
The only reason this chat hasn’t imploded.
The leader tosses out plans that instantly get traction, sends jokes that land with a broken wing, and knows exactly when to drop a “😂” to keep the peace.
Such is the burden of a leader.
They are the group’s gravitational center, where plans orbit, ideas idle, and chats carry on for eternity.
Without them, everyone would slowly drift into silence and be forced to develop a personality.
The Supporters
They haven’t expressed an original thought since 2018 and wouldn’t know one if it bit them in the ass.
Ask what they want to do this weekend and they’ll say, “I’m down for whatever.”
Ask them again and they’ll say, “I don’t care.”
Their natural habitat is the reaction emoji bar, where they blindly endorse every half-baked plan the leader proposes.
They are reliable. Agreeable. Gullible. And the singular reason democracy doesn’t work.
At the end of the day, they go home, stand in a closet, and plug themselves into a wall only to awaken when their leader calls.
The Other Leader
He’s got ideas — a whole boatload of them — but none of them float.
Not in this chat, at least.
He’s the leader in the other group chat, but here he’s the contrarian commander — challenging the main leader in small, subtle ways like questioning plans, suggesting alternatives, or just typing an accusing “eh.”
He’s not a hero. He’s not a villain. He’s just a man with opinions and the thumbs to type them.
It’s a crusade he fights alone, one doomed to fail.
The Meme Man
He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, it’s a perfectly timed screenshot or video that reignites the thread just as it’s about to die.
He’s only spoken in GIFs for 3 years, has impeccable pop culture references, and somehow has a girlfriend.
Even though he contributes nothing practically helpful, somehow, everyone feels helpless without him.
The Philosopher
They’re the reason why the chat occasionally dies for three days.
or five.
or ten.
What happens is someone shares a meme, and they respond with a paragraph about late-stage capitalism or a rant on personal development.
Then radio silence hits the air.
They mean well. They really do. But they have too big a brain for too small a space.
But after enough time, the Meme Man, naturally bails them out restoring order to the chat.
The Vanisher
One day they’re in every conversation. The next they’re gone. Poof.
Blowing in the wind.
No warning. No explanation. Just blipped from the bandwidth.
Then, six months later, they reappear with: “Wait, what’s this about?”
Only to leave again once the Enthusiastic One welcomes him back.
Total legend.
Who did I miss? Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think!
I am the unassuming “Leader” for the most part. That’s my actual personality type when I do different personality test. I am just about handling my business, being honest, and direct. I always told my children always be a leader and never a follower or chose your own path. I like that you hit every personality type for the most part. Some people can be dual types.
Appreciate you reading! It’s good to be a leader. In truth, I think we’re all shades of everyone.
I agree! It can depend on the day or circumstances.
the complainer
I’m the enthusiastic supporter most of the time. I am one of those people in the real world where I do not say much unless I am extremely confident not just about what I am saying, but the usefulness of it.
I am the one who gets put into a group chat, hangs in for a day or two and then quietly exits without being seen again because I hate all the texts coming in.
I don’t do group chats – not a team player. But what you’re saying – and you explain it very well – sounds like a socia media equivalent of the groups people have in reality. I don’t very much like those either, lol. 🙂
Hahaha I respect that – I think all writers love our solitude
I’m thinking of building a garret at the top of my house and starving up there with my writing. 🙂 🙂
I refuse to be found anywhere in this 8 😂 and No! Not in the possibly missed ones. Beautifully captured, as always.
Philosopher.
“Whoops, that’s me.” 🙂
Philosophers are the best type my friend!
I never respond, the back and forth can be helpful, funny or annoying
Totally agree
This made me laugh out loud. 🤣 Oh wow. So true. I love this and have to save it to read it again.
So happy it did – thank you for reading!!
I am the person who wishes they weren’t in a group chat because I struggle with anxiety so end up not saying too much lol. And then I just leave it when someone annoys me, without drama. Just quietly leaving.
Nothing wrong with making space for yourself IMO
Ha!! I’m an enthusiastic philosopher (with memes!) who wishes she wasn’t in a text group…and maybe at least 1-2 others. 🙂 Fun post.
Hahah thank you so much! I feel like we’re shades of everyone depending on the moment – but the world needs more philosophers
This is pure gold!! 😁💯
Thank you my friend!!! This one felt Theraputic
😁
Hysterical and so true!
I’m the one who wishes she weren’t on the list! I guess I could just ask the “Leader” to remove me, but I don’t want to be so abrupt. It’s a hiking group that has grown enormously large and I don’t really like hiking with huge groups. Sigh.
Hahaha yeah it kind of defeats the purpose. Like hiking is to connect with nature IMO – as always, I appreciate you reading! I really do!
This was amusing, so true!! We need all of them in the group, right.
😂👍🏼
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