“You see those rich people, those BILLIONAIRES… they don’t care about us.”

My friend said it with such fire that for a brief moment, I could see why people once marched with pitchforks.

I was getting drinks with a few friends when one of those famous political ads popped up and stole 20 seconds from our lives. We watched with our mouths shut.

“I… I can’t even get started!” my friend erupted, slamming his beer down and looking away. “…And now you’re telling me this rich guy is just gonna get richer?”

Now, my friend’s a good guy.

He’s smart.

Loyal.

A little goofy, but kind-hearted.

And most of the time, he’s cool as a cucumber.

But mention a billionaire to him, and he gets inflamed. It’s almost like he believes there’s some great cabal out there whose sole purpose is to keep him down. As if the way he spends his time and the choices he makes have nothing to do with it.

And here’s the funny part.

My friend doesn’t care about business. He doesn’t care about making money. He lives in a van by choice and says he has no desire to ever be rich.

So why does he get so worked up about people who have spent their lives building businesses and making money?

I rock on my heels.

“Yeah, man, yeah…” I try to get him off the topic because talking politics after being bombarded with ads is about as fun as stepping in dog poop.

But I relent.

“Dude… why do you get so mad? You’re not even interested in starting a business.”

He huffs and places his palms on the table.

“They could be doing so much more!”

I nod sincerely.

“Sure.”

But something about that exchange stuck with me.

And I can’t quite get it out of my head.

Why do we spend so much time comparing ourselves to people who are playing a completely different game?

We All Play Different Games

When I first started writing online a little over a decade ago, there was one person on all the platforms I wanted to catch up with.

Because I know him personally, I won’t use his real name. So let’s call him Jim Dole.

Jim was a beast.

He posted an article every day, put out a book every year, and slowly but surely grew his following, grew his offer, and built an author brand.

And I wanted what he had.

Make money as a writer? Count me in.

But when I started out, I was none of those things.

I wasn’t consistent.

I wasn’t writing books.

And I didn’t have an offer.

For years, I looked at Jim’s consistency and prolific output and thought I’d completely screwed up my start.

He was so certain. So absolute in his advice, that I started to doubt my own.

And even though I was having some success, I’d question everything I was doing. I’d second-guess my approach and tweak my strategy, nearly losing myself in the process.

Then fate happened.

I had an opportunity to work directly for him.

I was jazzed. Excited. Pumped!

But after a few months, something didn’t sit right.

I started to realize that Jim and I weren’t playing the same game.

His game was teaching. He wanted to teach people how to write, help them improve, and build a business around that.

Mine?

My game is fiction.

I write because I want to express myself.

I want to make people laugh.

I want people to feel.

I want to tell stories that entertain people and stay with them.

And somewhere along the way, I realized I kicked myself square in the nuts.

I’d spent years following advice and being inspired by something  I didn’t even want.

Because the truth is, I wasn’t behind Jim.

Hell, I wasn’t even next to him.

I was walking a path he never traveled, yet I looked to him as the expert.

And now that I’m on the other side of working with him, I can see how much time I wasted comparing my progress to his.

The scary part is, I have a feeling I’m not the only one who’s done that.

The Comparison Trap

We spend so much time comparing our lives to people who are playing completely different games.

Some people are jealous of the business owner, even though they have absolutely no desire to own a business.

Some people envy the family their friends have, even though they’ve said they don’t want kids of their own.

Some people are jealous of actors, but hate the idea of putting themselves out there.

And if you’re like me, you might find yourself envious of someone’s writing success without realizing they have completely different goals.

We look at what someone else has accomplished and assume we’re falling behind.

But we’re not always looking at the whole picture.

We don’t ask ourselves whether we even want the life that person has built.

We don’t consider what they’re working toward, what they enjoy doing, or what they’re willing to sacrifice to get there.

We just see the results and start measuring ourselves against them.

And that’s where we get into trouble.

You can admire someone’s success without wanting to live their life.

You can respect someone’s work ethic without wanting to do their job.

You can even learn from someone without making their goals your own.

So let’s make this the reminder:

You don’t have to play someone else’s game.

If You’re Feeling Stuck, Play Your Game

I still think about that conversation with my friend.

He’s getting worked up about people who have something he says he doesn’t even want.

And I get it. It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and wonder why yours doesn’t look the same.

But what good does it do to spend your time worrying about a game you don’t even want to play?

If you’re feeling stuck in life, take a step back.

Stop looking at what everyone else is doing.

Focus on your faith. Figure out what matters to you. And decide what game you actually want to win.

Then spend your time getting better at that.

Maybe you want to build a business. Maybe you want to raise a family. Maybe you want to write books, travel the world, or live in a van and keep life simple.

Whatever it is, make sure it’s something you actually want.

Because you don’t have to build a billion-dollar business. You don’t have to become famous. You don’t have to have the biggest house on the block.

You just have to decide what winning looks like in your own life.

Otherwise, you might spend years trying to catch up to someone else, only to realize you were running in the wrong direction.

And that’s a sure-fire way to make the journey a whole lot longer.

Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think!

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT of my book Letters From Jasper.  It means the world. And if you’re looking for a new read and enjoy my writing, I’d be honored is you considered reading, Letters From Jasper.

 

PLOT:A dying father hits the road to reconnect with his estranged son, but things take a turn when they get involved in a robbery. 

Perfect for anyone who likes humor and heart reads or has ever had a dead parent.  Available on Kindle Unlimited, Harcover, or Paperback. Here it is: Amazon.com: Letters From Jasper eBook : Winn, Anthony: Kindle Store

P.S. If you enjoyed it and left a review, you would make my entire ass day!

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