Gas Station Coffee Vs Starbucks Coffee

Welcome to my opinion…

The stage is set: It’s 7:00 AM, you’re running five minutes late and you need the elixir of American life, coffee. You careen to a halt as the green light has unexpectedly turned red. Your annoyance slowly rises. Contemplating life you notice a ray of sunlight shattering through the gray clouds. A gas station sits to your left and a Starbucks to your right. It’s as if there’s an Angel and Devil standing on either shoulder. Judgment sinks it’s fangs into your neck. Your next decision about where to go for coffee will either gain my wrath or my sincere appreciation. In full disclosure when given the choice between the two I always choose gas station coffee over Starbucks. At this point I see it as an inkling of pride. Pour yourself a cup of mud, sit back and enjoy my plea for Gas Station Coffee.

Gas Station Coffee: Coffee Of The Common Man.

I doubt many people receive aesthetic pleasure from gas stations. They are always somewhat dirty, smell of the same odor and the same fifteen people work at every gas station in the country. Despite these flattering nuances gas stations are a morning haven for the common man, and serve a darn good cup of coffee. There is a special communion that takes place every morning in gas stations across America. It’s held by the finest coffee drinkers known to man: The Morning Coffee Crowd (MCC). These morning road warriors come from all walks of life, hold various titles, and most importantly share the belief that you can buy a damn good cup of coffee for the appropriate price. I’m inviting you to the coffee counter, join the MCC brotherhood, and ditch the straight and narrow.

Why do some people choose gas station coffee over the heavy hitters such as Starbucks and Dunkin Doughnuts? They needed gas? A flat tire led them there? They’re craving gas station burritos?

The reason is  basic economics. If you want to save money and want your caffeine fix, go to your local gas station. Sleepy eyed you’ll pour yourself a cup, nod to your fellow coffee drinker and mutter a gruff sound that loosely translates into “Good Morning”. You’ll pay the half smiling, half stoned cashier you’ve seen your entire life, walk to your car and drive off into the sunrise. Carpe Diem, I hope you brought your sunglasses.

The morning Gas Station experience offers you the convenience of fresh coffee without the annoyance of waiting on a barista to make a Carmel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino. Sure, sometimes you might be behind the guy that bottlenecks the line as he buys 20 instant lotto tickets but I must admit that I’m rooting for him. May your mistress lady luck be on your side!

When you make the gas station your premier morning coffee destination you’ll develop an irrational belief that anyone who doesn’t drink gas station coffee is wrong. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and you have your $2.00 twenty-four ounce cup of morning mud. Life is good.

***In all fairness there are some gas stations that are terrible, stuck in 1983 and only offer powdered cream as an option. Avoid these stations at all costs; stay away from these cheap bastards.***

Starbucks: The Iron Giant

It’s never good to knock someone or something for being successful. That being said I wont attack Starbucks for being mainstream. Their success and popularity is due to a great product, great branding, years of hard work and the adoration of white women everywhere. All things I cannot knock but only appreciate. In full disclosure I do catch myself drinking Starbucks at least once a month and yes, they have alright coffee.

In a coffee to coffee comparison I believe that gas stations match up evenly with Starbucks. I have a hard time paying a dollar or two more for a cup of coffee that doesn’t taste significantly better than it’s one dollar competition. The driving force behind my love for gas station coffee is I hold the belief that many people that are die hard Starbucks drinkers carry a sense of pretentiousness. My distaste for pretentiousness has directly led to my admiration for gas station coffee.

Many Starbuck drinkers are kind of like the people that brag they are from a certain area. Oh, when you weren’t in existence did you request to be born to your exact set of parents in the precise area of your choosing? Fascinating. Some Starbucks drinkers pride themselves on the fact they drink Starbucks. I appreciate pride but harboring an elitist view on coffee that is sold in more than 20,000 locations to me is a contradiction. The following that Starbucks carries is frustrating, fascinating, cool and impressive.

If you drink anything other than coffee then yes by all means go to Starbucks, gas stations are limited. If you are a pure coffee drinker, save yourself the hassle of waiting in line and go to a gas station. It’s faster, cheaper and without the suffocating air of pretentiousness. As I said I won’t attack Starbucks for being successful but I’ll make a claim that Starbucks is essentially as common as Wal-Mart, Target, and McDonalds. I’ll also acknowledge that Gas stations are pretty damn common, and this article displays a sense of pretentiousness for gas stations. The world spins in a full circle.

The point of this article is a plea to root for the underdog. In a world where it’s cool to go to Starbucks, sit down and talk about the doldrums of the day, I ask of you to take the road less traveled and choose gas station coffee. Choosing gas station coffee is fighting for a cleaner, safer, less pretentious future. God speed.

PS…. This is Satire… don’t take this seriously.

244 thoughts on “Gas Station Coffee Vs Starbucks Coffee

      1. Oh No, Tony. I am a purist when it comes to GOOD coffee. Gas Station coffee,…last resort for me. Starbucks, heck yeah! Love the taste, love the atmosphere and…well, thats just me, but I enjoy your writing. Keep it coming!

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Hey – I know this is an old thread but would still like to leave a comment. I googled the phrase ‘why is gas station coffee so good’ and your blog was the first search result. I feel exactly the same way you do when it comes to Gas Station coffee. There is a Holiday gas station about 2 miles from home. I like their ‘Espresso blend’ which is bold, but not bitter. A small size cup with a sleeve and lid costs $1.06. I like it with sugar and creamer. They have muffins and donuts too. The smell of the coffee sparks up my neurons and they start to grind the very next moment 🙂

    A Starbucks/Caribou small black coffee costs twice as much but is bitter, bland, super-hyped, and overrated. More than the taste of coffee, I like the flavor which is missing with the chain of corporate coffee shops. And they look at you like you are some cheap fellow when you ask for plain coffee. I used to like hot chocolate from Starbucks but I now prepare my own by using Hershey’s dark chocolate and milk at home and that tastes a lot better 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. FYI, what Starbucks does to a cup of tea should be illegal. I don’t know how they can mess up hot water and a tea bag, but they do. I’d rather go to the gas station and buy bottled iced tea. So that grumpy woman by the cold drinks? That’s me.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Fun post! When I used to travel in the Northwest, I realized that someone’s coffee order was directly proportional to how big an asshole they were. That half-calf, skinny latte with extra foam guy… You did miss the new kid on the coffee block, also the champion of the normal dude: McDonald’s Their coffee is cheap and it doesn’t suck.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This is the right blog for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you. You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I must admit when I 1st met my husband he swore by gas station coffee and I thought he was insane. I preferred a white mocha cappucino. But now, I understand. No, gas station coffee does not equal a white mocha cappucino but it still is amazing.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Ok so I’m a big Starbucks fan but din’t become one until a couple years ago a friend of mine got me to go there and I have been hooked ever since. In the beginning I used to be a Kwik Shop girl and that coffee and pizza used to do me just fine. I had to grin as I read your article so now I am going to have to go and and continue this as a blog of my own cause it has brought back memories….thanks with a smile

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I haven’t made the trip in a few years, but I use to regularly travel from Eastern Wyoming to various points on the west coast. Getting Coffee at a gas station in Western parts of Wyoming was always that brutal 1983 C-Store style, nasty AF coffee that presented itself as either too watered down or like sludge. These days I am guessing you can find at least one decent cold coffee in the cooler. I would end up resorting to Jolt Cola until Five Hour Energy became a “thing” for those long haul trips.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. My husband prefers Speedway coffee to Starbucks any day of the week. He can make whatever combination he wants with no waiting. As for me, I don’t drink coffee except for a sip or two added to hot chocolate, but I can get that combo at gas station, too.

    Love this piece of satire, and glad I stopped by your blog.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I wouldn’t get coffee from Starbucks or a Gas (we call them petrol stations in Britain) Station. But then I don’t drive or travel by car so haven’t been in a petrol station since I worked in one when I was a teenager (many many many years ago and they didn’t serve coffee back then) and I think Starbucks coffee is proper nasty! But nice insight into your coffee buying decisions.

    Zoe

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Thanks for liking one of my posts and I loved this coffee blog. I am not drinking as much SBbux as I used to. There are other local/regional chains I buy from and I like a well-known midwestern gas chain’s coffee so I buy gas from there and get points and when I get enough, a large 24 oz is free!

    Have a great and blessed day!

    Jim

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Starbucks coffee is poison! I’d rather buy coffee from anywhere else. Our petrol stations (I’ve seem the comment from the lady from here already so know you know that’s what we call has stations over here) mostly have the instant Costa coffee machines which are slightly better than greasy spoon truck stops! I’m a basic black coffee drinker so as long as it’s not Starbucks bitter rubbish I’ll drink any coffee made with freshly ground beans! Great write for my first read of the day. I love your tongue-in-cheek attitude!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for giving this a read! I really enjoy how the UK uses the phrase petrol stations – it sounds much fancier than a regular-joe gas station.

      Drinking black coffee is for the bold – I like that!

      Like

  12. Living in Italy, we like GOOD coffee. However, I do not consider Starbucks to be GOOD coffee. When we come to our home in the states, I prefer my own espresso at home. If I must drink the “Acqua Sporca” (dirty water), I would choose the economical over the exaggerated Starbucks any day of the week. For the basic jolt, gas station coffee is just fine!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I’ve never had Starbucks and doubt I ever will. The closest one to me is about an hour away, though I have my choice of directions to travel. I can go to several local gas stations, get coffee with an array of creamer and sweetener options. Or I can choose cold coffee or even cappuccino. Gas stations have come a long way. You should try a truck stop….sometimes more choices, sometimes no choices. Usually good, and the gamble on how many choices can be interesting!

    Liked by 2 people

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