A hungover plumber has the city believing in magic after claiming a local latrine spoke to him.
It was like any other working class Friday-night until magic struck casting a starry-eyed enchantment on one man’s world. Earl Morrison, AKA “The Super Plumber” was sniffing down a case of beer, drowning out the work-week sorrows when something strange happened… he heard a sound.
“Did you hear that?” murmured Earl, burping up uncertainty. “Nahhh, that’s nothin’” reassured fellow plumber John Henderson between sips of beer. “You’re imagining things.”
Business continued as usual when the faint moan of “help me” came sailing from the bathroom.
“There it is!” exclaimed Morrison! As he stood up, throwing his weight into the curiosity. “That’s something!”
Bullheaded, Earl billowed his way into the restroom only to have his jaw hit the floor.
What stood before him was a Disney-esq magically animated toilet complete with a hat, eyes & walking cane; simultaneously singing & tap dancing in the moonlight.
“You ain’t gonna believe this shit John!” cried Morrison as the money symbol shot from his eyes.
Henderson made his way to the bathroom only to be struck by the same sense of wonder.
“We gotta tell someone!” slurred Henderson quickly grabbing the phone to call the authorities.
When the cops arrived, the officers investigated their claims only to find a regular, piss stained toilet. Disappointed, the two were arrested and charged with drunk and disorderly contact.
We reached out to Morrison for comments.
“I don’t give a fuck what you think, it was real to me!”
The only question left to ask is do you believe? As for me, this reporter thinks that the “Super Plumber” is super full of shit.
This is clearly fake and should not be taken seriously. Please like, comment share and tell me what you think. Do you believe in magic? What fake headlines would you enjoy reading?