Toilet Speaks to Drunk Plumber; Changes Life.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

A hungover plumber has the city believing in magic after claiming a local latrine spoke to him.

It was like any other working class Friday-night until magic struck casting a starry-eyed enchantment on one man’s world. Earl Morrison, AKA “The Super Plumber” was sniffing down a case of beer, drowning out the work-week sorrows when something strange happened… he heard a sound.

“Did you hear that?” murmured Earl, burping up uncertainty. “Nahhh, that’s nothin’” reassured fellow plumber John Henderson between sips of beer. “You’re imagining things.”

Business continued as usual when the faint moan of “help me” came sailing from the bathroom.

“There it is!” exclaimed Morrison! As he stood up, throwing his weight into the curiosity. “That’s something!”

Bullheaded, Earl billowed his way into the restroom only to have his jaw hit the floor.

What stood before him was a Disney-esq magically animated toilet complete with a hat, eyes & walking cane; simultaneously singing & tap dancing in the moonlight.

“You ain’t gonna believe this shit John!” cried Morrison as the money symbol shot from his eyes.

Henderson made his way to the bathroom only to be struck by the same sense of wonder.

“We gotta tell someone!” slurred Henderson quickly grabbing the phone to call the authorities.

When the cops arrived, the officers investigated their claims only to find a regular, piss stained toilet. Disappointed, the two were arrested and charged with drunk and disorderly contact.

We reached out to Morrison for comments.

“I don’t give a fuck what you think, it was real to me!”

The only question left to ask is do you believe? As for me, this reporter thinks that the “Super Plumber” is super full of shit.

This is clearly fake and should not be taken seriously. Please like, comment share and tell me what you think. Do you believe in magic? What fake headlines would you enjoy reading?

16 thoughts on “Toilet Speaks to Drunk Plumber; Changes Life.

  1. That’s pretty brilliant! lol… Fake headlines? I’d love to see the headline, “America No Longer Under Crisis From Gun Violence!” …A story would of course follow how Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and President Trump totally wiped out gun violence in one whack (pardon the good fella pun) with the NRA Dismantle Wand. They wave the magic wand and all guns and assault rifles are turned into pretty vases of petunias. Now, THAT’S Fake News, Mr. President! (Sorry. Not trying to turn this political or steal your thunder lol)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think you’re doing well! The biggest thing I can tell you is ask people a question at the end of your posts and like and comment on other people’s posts so they can find you

      Like

  2. I believe…

    Magic is what you make it and if magic makes your toilet dance and sing with a mickey mouse magician hat, more power to ya.

    I’d like to see more fake headlines too.
    I.E. Fat bastard disqualified from local pool’s “1st annual Cannonball Contest” after epic splash unleashes his IBS. Lesson: Always wait 30 minutes before jumping in pool after eating chili.

    But i’ll leave the fake headlines to the professional writer.
    Thanks for the laughs Tony.

    Like

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