With a heavy heart Matt Doyle spent the better part of his afternoon in the land of what-could-have-been, regretting choosing Subway for lunch.
It was like any other vanilla Tuesday in your ordinary office: Reports were ran, calls where placed, and feuds were continued as an office of fifty lost souls counted down the seconds until their brief taste of freedom would quench their thirst; lunchtime.
As the clock struck noon and the staff flew out of the office like sharks to a kill -Doyle knew he had a decision to make and make quickly.
With the clock clicking down and choice fatigue setting in, the weight of lunch time options fogged up Doyle’s head until a green & yellow ray of hope appeared beneath the clouds: Subway.
Pulling in, a smile wrapped around Doyle’s face because he knew he made the right choice. He didn’t want anything exciting, he didn’t want anything dangerous, he wanted the sandwich equivalent of a worn down marriage: long, boring, sexless and dull. In other words: Doyle wanted Subway and he wanted it now. As the story goes, he ordered his sub and was happy, he made the safe choice.
Crashing down from his lunch time high, Doyle returned to orbit and into his office, a temporarily victorious man. He settled into his routine when the lunch time tide returned to shore carrying gossip of seemingly “Greater” and “Better” choices. A new restaurant had opened, shifting the lunch time cosmos.
As the gossip of “You really need to try this, and you really gotta have that” brought life to an otherwise dull and hopeless place, Doyle knew in his heart that he should live more dangerously with his lunch time indulgences.
As fantasies of froyo, pizza and lobster orgies danced in his little mind, Matt sat in his office wondering what lunch time treasures escaped his salivating senses; it was at this moment he knew that he fucked up.
With an empty look in his eye, Doyle would spend the rest of his work day wondering what-could-have-been, quietly damning himself as the clock ticked on.
We reached out for further questioning, but at the time of this article, Doyle has lost all hope.
Bringing you the most gripping tales in an ordinary world, this reporter thanks you for your time.
This is Satire! But you probably knew that. Please Like, Comment, Share and Tell me What You think. Truth be told, I Love Subway! And can’t get enough of it. What did you regret not getting for lunch? What’s something funny that happened at work? Do you know a “Matt Doyle”? Have you been a “Matt Doyle” ?