Growing up, I was a dog guy… and annoyingly proud.
I drank the Kool-Aid. I bought the milk bones. I even kept a tennis ball in my pocket for an emergency game of fetch.— You never know when your dog might get the urge.
And I loved being a dog guy. Every time I got asked those stupid ice-breaking questions, the ones that rarely reveal anything significant, the “what do you like better, dogs or cats?” of the world, I would proudly say dogs and even hold a bit of contempt for anyone who disagreed. I was highly suspicious of people who said cats.
You like cats? Are you ok?
Do you need help?
Is there something I can do for you?
Hey Johnny, keep an eye on Greta. She’s a cat person. She can’t be trusted.
Which, of course, like nearly all assumptions, is inherently stupid.
But then, like a midlife crisis where everything you once thought was solid is now flimsy, my identity was shaken after I moved into a house with a cat.
And with a healthy ounce of regret, I have to admit I think I’m a cat guy. Here’s why:
If dog is man’s best friend, cat is a man’s true friend
The best asset dogs have are the branding they have behind them.
“Man’s best friend.” Now THAT has a nice ring to it. It has a bit of finality to it, a bit of certainty. With a name like that, the stakes are already built in.
But then, if you ever start to think about what best friend means, and I mean really think about it, like all thinking, it only creates problems.
Does your best friend run up to you and lick you every time they see you?
Does your best friend take your seat on the couch?
Does your best friend slobber all over you?
Does your best friend sleep between you and your wife?
No. That kind of sounds like a crazy-marriage-wrecking friend….. if you even want to use the word friend.
Man’s best friend would probably act more like a cat
A cat will say hi to you but won’t roll out the red carpet. Like a real best friend, they’ll keep you humble.
A cat will give you just enough attention to know you’re loved, but it won’t be up your ass. There’s an unspoken language of respect shared like most real best friends.
Where a real best friend will be there for you when you feel down, A cat will also be there when the stress of the world makes you feel like drowning.
And when you’re feeling good, it’ll mind its own damn business, again, like a real best friend.
But it’s so much more than a best friend; cats do many things better. For example:
Cats are the perfect flirts
A Cat will give you attention, but never too much, so they always leave you wanting more.
Textbook flirting written by Casanova himself.
With a dog? Ha!
A dog wouldn’t know flirting if they mistook cupid for a chew toy.
They give the same love day in and day out, but not to you… to anyone. Which can only mean one thing:
They can be bought and sold like an unreliable mercenary.
One piece of salami can turn even the fiercest of dogs into your best friend damn near instantly.
But it’s not just that…
Do you travel often?
Here’s a pain in the ass — finding someone to watch your dog.
Dogs need attention, and dogs should get attention — it makes them happy. But if you travel often, that’s a hard canyon to fill.
With a Cat — travel away. They can be trusted to be left alone, and with an automatic feeder, you don’t have to feel guilty.
I guess what I want to say is this.
Cats are better than dogs
Until someone breaks into your house.
Please like, comment, and share with a cat or dog person. Do you agree? What do you like better? Cats or dogs?