Humor

ChatGPT Buzzwords I Love To Hate

Revolutionary

You’re never going to believe this new, revolutionary product! Yeah, you’re right; I’m not… because it’s probably not revolutionary. ChatGPT, for the love of sweaty-handed coders, please understand how few things are truly revolutionary. When the internet emerged — that was revolutionary. When General George Washington beat the red out of the redcoats… that was revolutionary. But that teensy, tiny hydraulic part, now with a new, revolutionary black paint job, is probably not gonna change the world.

Unveiled

Guess what? Someone who is not a magician unveiled another stupid product. (That you certainly don’t need.) Unveiled, yuck. Unless you’re pulling a rabbit out of a hat or sawing ladies in half (legally), in my book, you’re probably not unveiling sh*t.

Supercharged

“Our new product is supercharged.” Call the doctor because my jaw just hit the floor. Not because I’m impressed but because I just took a self-inflicted bullet to the skull. (It went through! It went through!) The world has enough bullsh*t already; we don’t need any more supercharged, super-stupid marketing phrases that mean absolutely nothing.

Boost

Get ready for a boost! The only thing that’s boosting is my annoyance for this fluffy-ass word. I’m ready to take my laptop and boost it clear out the window every time I see ChatGPT slap “boost” on an asinine product from an asinine business. Do you want to boost your conversions? No, ChatGPT, I’d prefer not to be boosted. In fact, I’d prefer it if you understood how buzzwords never once got a person buzzed.

Enhance

Get ready to enhance your team. Is it me, or does the word “enhance” sound like a cheap ’90s movie starring a cheaper bad guy in a computer scene? *Cue the bad guy hitting the computer mouse and saying, “enhance… enhance,” while staring quizzically into the computer.* That’s great you want to enhance our capabilities and all; however, the word “improve” would be a… wait for it… an improvement.

Feeling needlessly angry? Great! Let me know what other stupid ChatGPT words you love to hate in the comments.

38 thoughts on “ChatGPT Buzzwords I Love To Hate”

  1. I’m glad you unveiled this supercharged revolutionary post. It enhanced my day. Do you mind if I boost if on social media?

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  2. I suspect that’s not ChatGPT so much as markwting/advertising teams … but I agree, ChatGPT has its own language … but it makes it easy to identify cheating students (for now)

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  6.     We have a new battery that mosquitos land on to create buzzwords that attract others to their death by chat.
    ~~ What’s been unveiled today is the revolutionary battery that when supercharged can make lightning bolts through an enhanced Tesla coil that can stun a charging elephant when traveling on Safari, or set on fire ten Ev advanced Swedish NATO tanks. And instructions provided in Japanese.
    —————-
    今日発表されたのは、スーパーチャージされると強化されたテスラコイルを通じて稲妻を発生させ、サファリで旅行中に充電中のゾウを気絶させたり、スウェーデンの最新型NATO戦車10台に火を点けたりできる革新的なバッテリーだ。
    ————-
    It was announced today that when supercharged, you can generate lightning through an enhanced Tesla coil that can stun charging elephants while traveling on safari or set 10 of Sweden’s newest NATO tanks on fire. It’s an innovative battery.

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  8. But how can you revolutionize the AI landscape unless you enhance customer synergy to spark dynamic conversations about supercharged ideas by featuring new buzzwords in your portfolio?

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  9. Great piece! It’s refreshing to see a humorous take on the overuse of ‘revolutionary’ and similar buzzwords. It’s a good reminder that genuine innovation often speaks louder than the hype. Looking forward to seeing more content like this!

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  11. Been up one side and down the other with the Bolshoi from new age computiusts and their marketing strategists. I’m on record but what hit me most here was your little romp on revolutionary. The whole of computing since 2000 has been rehash renamed, THUS, improved. Hardware? Yes, you can make a case. Software? Get real. Swooft read, Bub.

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  12. “Impactful”, “pivotal”, “holistic”, “journey”, “I hope this message finds you well”, “warm regards”, and about a dozen other stupid pet words and phrases. Hate them. Good post!

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  18. I fight ChatGPT and Grammarly all the time these days.

    Actually, I watch ChatGPT and Grammarly fight too.

    I’ll rough out a few paragraphs myself and run ChatGPT to fact-check me and give a readability score. Boy does ChatGPT want to add flowery diction, but prune my northern dialect, even when it knows I’m writing my blog with a personal voice. Then Grammarly, set to a more “professional level” for tech documentation, comes in and prunes the language back to a terse form.

    My job is to accept the grammar fixes from Grammarly but dismiss all its rephrasing suggestions, and then lament the lack of friends to proofread for me and go back to ChatGPT for a second pair of eyes. (Yes, Grammarly is screaming that I fix this paragraph).

    The robotic sales-drone hyperbole these AIs give us is a bit rich, and then their nonsense sentences are nonsensical.

    Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.

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  20. This post really supercharged and enhanced my day. I needed this boost and you unveiled it right when I needed a revolutionary new perspective.

    Thank you for changing my paradigm. You are truly a go-getter and a change agent.

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  22. Every second influencer starts with “This will blow your mind” or “Say goodbuy to X profession”. This get as annouying as the YouTube open mouth thumbnails.

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  23. I absolutely cracked up at this, even though I have used ChatGPT. It made my day, and you are quite humorous. 🤓

    Reply

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