Potato Salad
It’s old.
It’s cold.
And if someone doesn’t get this salad out of the sun, it will start wilting… err, smelling.
Meet potato salad.
The salad big potato created because apparently French fries weren’t getting enough attention.
I mean, turning everyone’s favorite side, the potato, into a salad is genius, right?
It’s like you’re winking with them.
“Yeah, doctor. Of course I’ve been eating salads.”
She looks up from her clipboard.
“Are you sure?”
You pat your belly.
“Positive.”
And because you’re confident… she believes you.
Potato salad, you got away with one.
Tuna Salad
A salad with a side of sea.
Another alternative to your doctor’s, “You need to eat more salads,” tuna salad lets you check the box and your hunger in the same flick.
Tuna salad is the Goldilocks of the salad world.
Some are too thick, like a spread.
Some are too runny, which makes you hate yourself the moment it drips on your shirt.
And some are just right.
Although I’m not sure “just right” is the standard we should be using for something that will surely give you bad breath.
Pasta Salad
I imagine two Italian guys walked out of their doctor’s office with a warning.
“Eat more salad.”
To which they said, “Fuck that egghead. If he wants me to eat a salad, I’ll give him a salad.”
So they race home to their cupboard, and this is what they find:
Noodles… check.
Pepperoni… check.
Peppers… check.
Cucumber… check.
Cheese… check.
And, of course, Italian dressing.
Toss them in a bowl, and soon a “salad” was born.
Egg Salad
Egg salad might be the biggest scam of them all.
Because an egg is already a complete food.
You boil it.
You eat it.
You salt and pepper it and voilà…
End of story.
But apparently the simple wasn’t complex enough.
Someone looked at an egg and said, “What if we destroy this?”
So we chop it up.
Mix it with mayonnaise.
And call it a salad.
And somehow…
It worked.
Please like, comment, share, and tell me what you think. What “salads” did I miss?
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You forgot Taco Salad, and chicken salad, oh, and carrot salad(ew).
I could go for a taco salad right about now! Great suggestions
The staple of the midwest: the blessed jello salad!
Let’s take sugar, make it stiff, cut it in cubes, and the slather it in whipped cream. Or, better yet, Cool Whip, that chemical concoction that looks line whipped cream but without the flavor. For a “healthy” twist (and texture), we can add some fruit bits, preferably the canned kind soaked in corn syrup!
Hahaha I love those! Damn what a good suggestion!
Anything with Kale should be classified as a biohazard.
Hahah I eat my kale like I’m taking medicine -throw a handful in and just get it done. Water immediately after
And then there is the plain old macaroni salad or “mac salad” as it is referred to here in Hawaii. It is definitely a staple.
We often make tuna salad for dinner in the summer, served with crostini, and a dry Pinot Grigio. No slaving over a hot stove! 😀 My favourite is seafood salad, though. Italian antipasto-style.
Both of those sound so good -wow
Chicken salad. 🐔🥗
Chicken: healthy.
Celery: healthy.
Then somebody brings out a gallon of mayonnaise and says:
“Perfect. Now it’s a salad.” 😂
How about Chicken Caesar Salad? Croutons – check; parmesan cheese – check; sauce – check; roast chicken – check; oh, and lettuce – so it’s a salad. And Waldorf Salad? – walnuts, mayonnaise, thick Greek yoghourt – but include apples, grapes, celery and lettuce; it’s a salad! Great subject, Tony; so healthy! 🙂
Awww you’re making me want one. I started eating those in wraps too -so good
Aaaah! Now I want one in a wrap too – and they’re flatbread, so must have less calories, right? 🙂
I love all the salads mentioned here.
Me too!
Oh, I love this, couldn’t agree more. All those heavy gluggy salads , potato, pasta etc, should be turned into compost and forgotten. I can cope with an egg one but that’s it. Give me green!
I’ll take the green with you
I hate all of those, but I LOVE coleslaw. As soon as it gets hot i start craving it so bad, I have eaten just coleslaw with a fork more than once. Haha.
Coleslaw is underrated for sure – pimantiw has my favorite
Don’t forget ham salad (one of my mom’s favorites) and pea salad. And of course tabouleh and chickpea salad. Oh and fruit salad. Cucumber/onion/tomato salad. Caprese salad. Ambrosia.
I could go for a caprese salad right about now
Does sauerkraut count as a salad? A guy at our Farmers Market is peddling all kinds of fancy kraut.
Yeah as long as you use a fork, it counts
Very funny, I had never thought of all the salads, but so true.
We have so much bs salads here!
Yes, it is amusing.
Had one of these today, having one tomorrow . . .
Oh boy!!
Well, technically coffee is a salad because it is a mix of beans, which come from a plant. Haha, kidding.
When I was visiting the south, I learned that “salad” just meant “a mix of anything with mayonnaise.”
But you asked which ones you may have missed. How about word salad? It’s something that I do (and many people do) when I’m not sure what to say and my mind is running a million miles a minute, so I end up stringing together half-baked concepts with words that don’t make any sense.
And, I don’t say this as a joke, but the Bible maybe backs me up. Our speech is supposed to be seasoned with grace (Colossians 4:6), so maybe that makes words inherently some kind of ‘salad.’
However, seasoned words are not word salad.
Thanks for listening to me ramble. Haha!
Keep rambelin!