It’s Not Just a Pizza Place

The only thing more inflated than our prices is our ego.

It’s not just a pizza place — it’s an attitude. At Le Pizzaria Pompous, we put the pretentiousness in pepperoni. We serve up the smugness in sausage. Our onions? They’re overachieving and ostentatious. Forget about ordering a cobb salad — a snob salad is the Chef’s choice.

It’s not just a pizza place — it’s a garden. Gather around our little soil-sanctuary called “The Eden of Ego.” Our tomatoes aren’t merely sun-kissed; they’re French-kissed. Our basil? Watered with tears of joy. Our gardener? A refugee. Not from some third-world country, but rather, some third-world planet.

It’s not just a pizza place — it’s an event. Think you’ll stroll in and grab a table? Not before you strut down our red carpet. Want to snap a photo for Instagram? Our personal paparazzi has you pictured. Ready to place an order? Don’t expect any ol’ waitress; expect Jimmy “flippin’” Kimmel.

It’s not just a pizza place  it’s the people. Meet mononymous marvels like Drako and Svenn, who scoff at the concept of last names. Or as they say, “First name, last name, who said it was a race anyway?” The patrons here aren’t your average Joes and Janes. They’re your obscure Jürgens and Jelenas.

It’s not just a pizza place — it’s a worldly bar. Thinking about ordering a PBR? We’ll set you up with a Peroni. Want to pop open a Pepsi? We’ll pour you a San Pelligrino. Needing to watch the NFL like a Neanderthal? Never mind that noise — we’ll put on Netball for the Nobles.

It’s not just a pizza place — it’s wood-fired. Our wood isn’t from any old fairytale forest, our wood is locally s̶t̶o̶l̶e̶n̶ sourced from my father’s backyard. You’ll taste my short-fused father screaming, “Stop cutting down my fuckin’ trees!” in every bite. Its smoky, midwest-outrage infuses itself to the crust, creating a flavor that’s more inflated than our egos.

So, pull up a chair at Le Pizzaria Pompous, where we take pizza to new heights of haughtiness.

And remember our motto— Here, it’s not merely about satisfying your hunger — it’s about serving up a slice of self-importance.

Please, like, comment, share and tell me what you think. Have you ever been here?

43 thoughts on “It’s Not Just a Pizza Place

      1. Ok, so does humor run in your family? I can imagine your Mom getting mad at you when you were a kid and you make her Laugh and you are forgiven.

      2. So it does -my mom is very crass funny – she’s smarter and has high brow humor. My dad is more attitude funny. Very strong opinions and if someone farts it’s the atom bomb of jokes to him. So I had a mix of high brow and low brow. Unfortunately that only worked some of the time – other times it just piled on the trouble.

  1. Ah Tony, I can see you in Rome on a balcony with an Opera singer, calling out for people to visit La Pizzaria Pompous! Most enjoyable read. I’m Italian, we can have big egos, right. I just saw a post of someone making Tiramisu with blueberries, raspberries… WHAT, like putting pineapple on a pizza. Some things, traditional Italians would say, “Are NOT done.” LOL

    1. As someone who has a bit of Italian in him, I would love to be in Italy with an opera singer. Thank you so much for reading, and yes pineapple on pizza is a hard no for me.

      1. LOL – If you go to Verona, they have a FAKE balcony for Romeo & Juliette. That would be funny.

  2. Great post! I have eaten at place similar to Le Pizzaria Pompous. It’s called Fabrizio’s and the chef loves irony. The “boneless” chicken Parmesan has extra bones, as if the chef is saying, “life must not be ingested to quickly or without caution.” Thanks for posting!

  3. In New Haven, it’s a whole thing, but it’s more bragging rights than pretense. Pepe’s, Sally’s or Modern Apizza. OK, maybe the apizza part is a little pretentious. New York was never really like that, and you pretty much couldn’t go wrong in the five boroughs. That was until Food Network and similar made pizza a designer item. Brooklyn is probably the biggest offender when it comes to being full of one’s self.

  4. Southern Westchester was no slouch when it came to pizza, especially bordering the Bronx, like Yonkers, Mt. Vernon and Pelham. And you could buy a “wedge” not a sub or hero. Last few times I was in the area I definitely picked up the vibe you describe here, along with the sticker shock at the designer prices. Everything is a money grab these days, and this is a strategy to justify it all. I can appreciate the need to laugh to keep from crying.

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