Say hello to America’s favorite pastime…
Eating in public.
Italian Sausage – A name with more innuendos than an Austin Powers movie. This stand makes me want to don some climbing gear, scale the mountain of peppers and onions, and reach the sweet, spicy clouds that tickle my nose. This is a hotdog, only less American. Bite in, and you’ll know the horrible parking situation was worth it. Again and again and again.
The Funnel Cake – America loves a sweet tooth. And a sweet tooth loves any dough that is fried. The funnel cake is the go-to dessert of the carnival. Sure, there’s the new hot girl, the fried Oreos, the fried bananas, but make way for the king. One bite of the doughy goodness, and you’ll know that the diabetes was worth it.
The Gyro – Well, is it pronounced “gyro” or “Yeero”? Who cares! The gyro stand and its flashing lights are a break from the ordinary. This power sandwich lets you know everything is going to be alright, one messy bite at a time. Despite carnival gyros falling WAY short of the quality an actual gyro place has… this is somehow better, like a crappy movie we all love. Trust me when I say this: a sandwich wrapped in tinfoil can do no wrong.
The French Fries – America’s favorite side dish is still winning the popularity contest. Step into a line that stretches longer than a yoga pose. When you finally get to the counter, you’ll be greeted by someone who daftly asks you what do you want? Which is weird to ask when you only serve one thing. I digress. Winners put salt and vinegar on their fries. Bite into your favorite cholesterol potatoes.
The Corndog – Ahh, mystery meat… perhaps the greatest mystery is why we can’t escape you. These hot dogs are more battered and fried than a 48-year-old pizza delivery guy on 4/20. They’re golden like the arches and taste like Uncle Sam. Which is a weird thing to type, but I’m not deleting it. Bite into this meat on a stick and feel the callback to the time of the caveman. Despite millions of years of progress, it’s safe to say we haven’t changed all too much.
Please, like, comment share and tell me what you think. What am I missing. Share with a foodie.