One of my guilty pleasures is watching trashy reality TV.
I’ll sit popcorn in hand and watch all the fake drama unfold like a long-lost, crumbled-up love letter.
It’s like a car crash you can’t look away from. And I don’t know why, but when I watch other people having problems, I feel high and mighty, like I’m a sorcerer with all the answers. For me, all their answers pop out like a red square on a green painting.
But it’s not just TV.
Ever noticed how it’s easier to untangle your friend’s love life than to figure out your own? Or how you can give your friend career advice, but for some strange reason, you can’t give yourself the same.
It’s like trying to read the fine print on a contract without your glasses – you’re just squinting at a bunch of blurry words.
And I guess it’s because it boils down to one thing: You can’t read your own label when you’re stuck in the jar. But there’s a way to uncork yourself and get out.
And it’s called third-party thinking. Here’s how to use it.
Pretend you’re on the TV. (who’s that fat guy on TV? Oh no… it’s me!) There’s a secret camera that records everything you do. What would the camera show?
It would show you in the third party.
And that’s what you have to do if you want to give yourself great advice, view yourself in the third party and watch your actions like a nosey neighbor peering through the blinds.
Pretend the person you’re watching isn’t you, just someone new telling you their problems. What would you tell them? What would you say to help them in their situation? Remember, it’s not you, so you don’t have to let your emotions cloud your judgment.
For me, I even go as far as writing everything down with a new name and just see how I would respond. As in:
My name is John; I am XYZ years old. I like doing XYZ, I’m good at XYZ, but I’m wondering what I should do next.
And for some strange reason, it works. Because for whatever reason, It’s easier to give other people advice and not yourself.
So flip the script and make yourself the other person. And start giving that great advice to someone who deserves it.
You.
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think.
Love this: “You can’t read your own label when you’re stuck in the jar” What a genius way to uncork yourself by looking at yourself through the eyes of an observer. The next time I’m stuck in a jar, I’m going to unstick myself by seeing through a new set of eyes.
My buddy said that to me the other day and it melted my mind – happy it had the same affect too
Very smart
Indeed!
I’d never watch a trashy reality show about myself. There’s not nearly enough trash…
🤣
Drink a bottle of moonshine and see what happens
Thanks for the advice! I’m going to try this. Hopefully I take my advice.😂
hahah that’s the challange – i’m in the same boat!
I like your writing, Mr. Bologna! 🙂 (Okay. I know your last name isn’t Bologna. It is just such a great word.)
Thank you so much! you can still call me Mr. B.
Dang. That even makes sense. 🙀
Sometimes I get lucky!
Ok, good way to turn the tables on giving advice. I’m already imagining a funny scene where I am on the psychiatrist sofa…. Pen in hand, saying to myself, “SO THAT”S what’s BOTHERING YOU!” All right, “HERE is HOW we turn it around!” Thank Tony! I hope you go by Tony.
I do! Tony is my name all my friends call me by, so call me that!
Ok, great to know. Nicknames are tricky, sometimes people ONLY want immediate friends/family to call them by their nickname. LOL. Otherwise, the charm is gone.
Interesting idea!
Ever noticed how it’s easier to untangle your friend’s love life than to figure out your own? Or how you can give your friend career advice, but for some strange reason, you can’t give yourself the same.
Yess🥹 this is so true
So happy you noticed that too! Thanks for reading
Love this!
So happy you do!
I always feel like I’m better at sorting other people’s drama than what I feel. But I’m going to try the trick you’ve blogged and evaluate how it works for me. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Third-party thinking is a great way to get out of that rut.I will definitely adopt it!
Let me know how you like it!
I love this line: You can’t read your own label when you’re stuck in the jar. Fantastic. And your idea for getting some distance from yourself is a good one, too.
Thanks so much! My friend said that to me and it had the same effect! Glad you enjoyed
Brilliant. I need to look into this.
Really made me smile as I read this, so clever… It is hard to be objective about oneself… And we see all complexities as a way to excuse. I love the image of the jar not being able to read it’s own label. 😊
Beautiful post
Unique and very helpful!!
So happy you enjoyed
Loved the jar analogy. 👌👍🙌
That is a very interesting idea…I might try doing that in my journal.
Do it! Let me know how you like it
That may be useful if you’re truly honest with or about yourself. How many people actually examine themselves to see if their perception of themselves matches reality or how others see them? Wouldn’t it be better for a friend or friends who will tell you the truth to tell you, or for you to ask a friend or your friends to tell you? But, will your friend or friends tell you what you want to hear? Yet, how many people are mature enough to accept criticism from others or even to critique themselves? There is One Who will tell you the truth however, and God is that One person who will tell you the truth. God knows us better than we know ourselves, so Who better to tell us than Him? If you really want to be the person that God created you to be, then you need to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. If you take His and the Holy Spirit’s correction and discipline you will become the person that God created you to be, not what the world wants you to be.
Btw that’s what the method i use sometimes but i think that’s not works if you entering the age 20 or more 😅
Hahaha all we can do it try