You see her. She’s dressed to the nines, head to toe,  with an easy smile that pulls you in. You sat down with a meeting with her, and no matter what she says, you’re buying.

She has that effortless smile that comforts you in a way you didn’t know you could be comforted, and when she explains her work, you can’t help but lean forward. She’s highly persuasive, and she gets what she wants.

Have you ever wondered why some people are so damn persuasive? How they speak words that seem to rip open your ears and wallet? Well, today, we’re going to shine a light on their secrets.

Clear Communication

Ever been stuck listening to someone who sounds like they swallowed a dictionary? Yeah, not exactly persuasive. Persuasive people value clear communication for one reason and one reason alone – people need to understand what you do.

They don’t opt for haughtiness and high-brow words but speak in a way that’s clear, concise, and, dare I say, understandable. And that’s why it’s no coincidence that the proven grade level of words that sell is fifth-grade – it’s impossible to confuse. 

There’s an old saying in sales: when you confuse, you lose. So, by focusing on being clear with the language you use, your value proposition, and the manner you speak, you’re making it easier for your clients to understand you, making you more persuasive.

Relatable + Empathetic

Persuasive people are relatable; when they speak, you feel that they “get” you, and this makes you like them.

This checks out because in order to sell an idea, people first must be able to relate to you so they understand your journey. We all have a tendency to feel a kinship when we’re around people who walk a similar path. But how does one be relatable?

The way to be relatable is to be empathetic. Put yourself in your customer’s shoes and walk a mile in their world. (Even if you have to wear high heels 😉) Use the words they use. Discuss the problems they have. Talk about how you helped other people overcome similar issues. This will help your prospects think you’re one of them, and they’ll welcome you with open arms.

Active Listener

We’ve all heard the expression, “You have two ears and one mouth for a reason.” Why? Because listening is so damn important. And for some reason, this advice falls on deaf ears. (pun-fully-intended.) Most people are so busy trying to sound smart that they forget the most important part of persuasion: listening.

For example, when I sold reverse osmosis water coolers, I mainly sold to companies that already had a water service and weren’t in the market for a new service. However, when I met with them, I just asked them pain questions (questions designed to uncover problems that they may have) and listened to their response.

I’d hear them complain about how annoying it was to replace the water, how it spilled everywhere, and how heavy they were.

So simply, my pitch was, “Do you want cleaner water without the trouble of lugging those 5-gallon water drums around all day?” And this led to me selling to quite literally hundreds of companies of all sizes.  Persuasive people listen simply because it gives you ammo for when you pitch your product.

Ask Great Questions

The best questions aren’t the ones with easy answers. They’re the ones that make people stop and think, “Huh, I never thought about that before.” These are the questions that crack open wallets and minds.  Building off of my last story, the companies I met with really weren’t in the market for water coolers; that service was already in place. However, when I asked the pain questions, like how annoying it was to move those 5-gallon water drums around, I could see their frustration, which I used to my advantage.

To ask great questions, you need to figure out what problem your ideal prospect has that you have that you can solve with your offer.  Keep in mind that many of your prospects likely don’t think they have a problem, and everything is hunky-dory. But a few well-placed questions can splinter their foundation and give you an opportunity to sell. Think of yourself as a detective, uncovering hidden desires and pain points. Then, BAM! Offer a solution so good they can’t resist.

Likable

Think of the most annoying person you know. Now imagine them trying to sell something. Not gonna happen, right? Persuasive people are the opposite. They’re charming, funny, and relatable. They make you feel like you’ve known them forever, even if you just met. Their secret? Be yourself, flaws and all.

People connect with authenticity, not some fake, airbrushed version of you. Never forget that the average person relates more to Homer Simpson than to Superman. People secretly resent seemingly perfect people because it’s impossible to be one.

By smiling, being real, sharing vulnerabilities, and having the other person’s best interest at heart are all tried and true strategies to improve your likableness.

Problem Solvers

The most persuasive people are detectives, on the case of solving their client’s problem. They see problems others miss and offer solutions that make people say, “Damn, that’s brilliant!” After all, at the root of every purchase is someone trying to solve a problem.

When I sold construction equipment (hangers… the things that people use to hang piping, cables,  and lights in buildings), the number one problem my customers encountered was a time problem – it took a hell of a lot of time to hang the pipes and cables using traditional methods.

So when I met with my prospects, I showed them the problem they were overlooking – the time cost and the financial cost associated with that.  I would simply explain, “You can do the same project, but using my product, you can get it done in half the time.” And I even went a step further and calculated the savings, factoring in the salary. By doing that and spelling out how my offer solves their problem line by line, it consistently sold the solution.

Persuasive Arguments

Let’s face it: some arguments are about as exciting as watching paint dry. Persuasive people, however, know how to weave logic, emotion, and evidence into a tapestry so compelling that you’d agree to bungee jump naked off a cliff (probably).  Remember, all selling really is is you making a case of why your product is the perfect solution to their problem. That’s it. Don’t overcomplicate it.

The most persuasive people lean into emotion, credibility, and logic to make their case and back it up with proof. As a persuasive person, you need to come up with a good case of why your product or service makes sense to solve their problem and back it up. If you can do that, you will be more persuasive.

Positive and Optimistic

Imagine a salesperson with the enthusiasm of a sloth. Not exactly inspiring, right? Persuasive people are brimming with positivity. They exude confidence and optimism, making you believe that whatever they’re selling is the key to a brighter future.  And it’s because they have to.  If you want someone to agree with you about a better future, you better damn well be enthusiastic about the future picture you’re painting.

Positivity is contagious, which is why there’s the old saying smile and dial. People can often feel your energy before you speak one word.

Trustworthy and Credible

Nobody likes a bullshitter and every person has a built-in BS detector that goes off like a metal detector at a crowded beach when they hear some BS.  That’s why the most persuasive people are the real deal.

Everything they sell is backed up with proof. They build trust brick by brick, knowing that without it, their words are nothing but empty promises. Remember in life, evidence always defeats doubt, that’s how people win court cases.  So, provide evidence and credibility to back up your points. It reinforces your message and makes you more credible.

Respectful and Collaborative

Nobody likes a know-it-all, nobody likes a pushy-ass salesperson, and nobody wants to be talked down to or pressured into buying something. Persuasive people understand this. They approach things collaboratively, working with you to find a solution that benefits everyone. They listen to your concerns, address your doubts, and make you feel like you’re part of the team.

Most people want a sense of control. By being respectful and collaborative, this not only helps you be likeable, but allows you to come up with the solution together, making them feel like working with you is a win-win.

Full Circle.

Persuasion isn’t about trickery or manipulation; it’s about mastering a set of skills that allow you to connect with others on a deeper level. By embracing clear communication, genuine empathy, question-asking, problem-solving, and active listening, you can build trust and rapport with your audience. Remember to stay authentic, positive, and collaborative, respecting the perspectives of those you’re engaging with.

Ultimately, persuasion is about building relationships and finding win-win solutions that benefit everyone involved. So go ahead, put these strategies into action, and watch as you sweet talk your way to success—without ever resorting to being a bullshitter.

Please, like, comment, share and tell me what you think!

Also if you want to work with me, as a writing coach, copywriting help or selling help, let’s chat. Anthony@anthonyrobertagency.com