Recently, I paid a visit to Walmart.
It was one of those things… my girlfriend needed a prescription, I needed groceries, and an hour-long drive through the beating heart of rush hour later, I found myself waltzing into Walmart.
Yay.
Now, as we all know, most Walmart’s are undesirable. You never really hear people say, “Hell yeah – I’m going to Walmart!” It’s always like, “Uhhh, Walmart… gross.” They’re Walmart’s, after all. But the Walmart I went to has a bit of a reputation. Locals refer to it as the worst Walmart in Cleveland… and a few of the impatient even say America.
It’s a little bit run-down, a little bit ghetto, and what you want usually isn’t there. So, with a big, brave, indifferent look on my face, I marched on in.
By this time, I had already paid my penance, wandered through the crowds of other idiots like me, searching for items that couldn’t be found, and made my way to the checkout line. And that’s where it all went down.
I was standing in line waiting to check out when I heard an ear-shattering “HELP” break out from the automotive section. It sounded like Dave Chappelle circa 2004 in the height of the Chappelle Show’s power. The classic “HALLLLP … HALLLP!”
It was iconic as it was startling.
And immediately, I froze up. I craned my head, exploded my eyes, and thought, “Oh sh*t, somebody brought a gun!” But to my surprise, there were no loud pops, no chorus of screams, and no thunderous steps of people getting the f*ck out. Instead, surprisingly, silence followed. Not the oh-shoot-something-just-went-down solemn kind of silence, but the indifferent silence that isn’t silent at all. The silence of everyone carrying on about their day, like nothing flipping happened.
No one reacted. Not one damn soul in a store filled with 500. The cashier didn’t bat an eye; he kept scanning, one grocery after the next, like it was his job. It was his job.
And I’m standing on my tippy toes, still wondering if I’ll have to run. But time marches on like it always does.
More silence. More scans. More indifference. At this point, I’m dumbfounded, curious even. I know he heard it. Hell, even the dead heard the scream. But that’s when it occurred to me that I am both within and without.
I am the man observing the scream and the man screaming the scream. “Help, I’m at Walmart. Help, I’m at Walmart.” Waiting for someone to get me the Hell out.
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think! What’s your Walmart story?
It is nothing to see at least one person with a gun at Wal-Mart. As long as, we the people can see it, you can carry a gun in KY. It blows my mind to walk into Kroger and see Slim wearing a pistol. I used to have a concealed carries permit but what’s the point. Just strap it on and go. FYI: I do not carry a gun.
It is a bit startling because it’s like oh you’re buying milk – lol – all good either way
I’m glad you survived Wal-Mart.
I appreciate that my friend
Walmart is my favorite store to shop for soda and cookies!
That’s it.
That do have good deals – I actually don’t mind getting groceries there – it’s more selection than expected
I always dread going to WalMart. Even the fancy schmancy one has now become tattered and bathed in frustrated Grandmas and angry teenaged-couples who work 3 registers apart.
It truly is the worst. 🤣😂😆
Hahah I love the angry teenage couples observation – that’s funny
Haha. Haha. I spot it all! 🤣😂😆
I think, when I visit the States, I need to visit a WalMart. Are they really that bad? I’ve heard/read so many stories about them. I know in the UK, we were worried when they bought Asda. I’m glad they sold the stores on to someone else.
Honestly they’re not that bad -just one of those companies people complain about like it’s a national pastime
I’m not comfortable with Walmart.
And this is why I don’t go to walmart.
I liked working for walmart. Kind of regret leaving, but that is what it is. Still you aint wrong about me being like “UGH, I don’t want to go….”
When I do go I always take a little bit of cash for impulse purchases. last time I picked up 2 little single serve blenders and a regular blender. 20 bucks for all cuz the boxes was damaged real bad. I don’t know what to do with them, but I got them.
Better to have and not need than need and not have
KMart in CT was Walmart, before Walmart ever came to the state. I shopped in the Milford store and it changed very little over the years. I always felt like po’ white trash whenever I shopped there, probably because I was, and there was a certain poignancy tied to the store, but at the same time there was something scrappy and resilient about it. As the years passed, my personal history became tied to the store, even through their licensing agreement with Martha Stewart, the acquisition of Sears and several minor facelifts and retraining of its sales associates to be more polite and attentive to customers. I came to admire the store as a survivor, until it closed suddenly a few years ago. It left me with an unexpected feeling of sadness and loss.
It’s funny how we all get attached to places – I grew up next to an amusement park that closed down and all I see are the memories of it.
I go to wally world (walmart) because I can get a lot of things there a lot cheaper than I can get them at other stores … groceries comes to mind …I hate the idea that most of their check outs do not have human beings to help you anymore — and I am not fond of walking the length of a football field to get into the store from the parking lot…but all in all, Walmart is good for me even though I am getting more and more things from Amazon these days —
Talking to a guy who’s going to Wally World tomorrow – oh joy!
I left a comment but I don’t see it anywhere…
You can now!