“I wish I was doing more.”
My eyes narrowed as they fell on my friend’s regretful smile.
“What the hell are you talking about? You do a lot.”
That’s what I told him—one of the most creative, driven people I know.
He was showing me the Instagram of some entrepreneur he admires, and I could see the jealousy flickering in his eyes.
He had all the signs:
The reluctant smile.
The slow scroll.
The head shake.
All from staring at someone else’s life online and deciding his own doesn’t measure up.
Ah yes, the magic of social media.
What struck me most was how absurd it was.
This is a guy I’m sometimes jealous of—because he’s a machine.
He’s got a full-time job, plus:
-
Helps his wife run a crystal shop
-
Owns an AI website
-
Makes custom furniture on the side
Like, the guy willingly builds frickin’ kitchen tables in his spare time.
I spill coffee on kitchen tables in mine.
He’s interesting.
He’s creative.
He’s doing things.
But in his mind? Somehow still “not doing enough.”
And the thing is—it’s not just him.
It’s you.
It’s me.
It’s what happens when we don’t give ourselves credit.
Why Social Media Screws With Your Head
Social media is a double-edged sword.
Sure, it’s full of new ideas, inspiration, potential—but it’s also a never-ending highlight reel of curated wins. And the worst part? It’s addictive.
Start scrolling and you can hardly stop.
Yet you rarely see people sharing the real stuff.
Like getting home on a Tuesday and your partner’s mad because you forgot to take out the trash.
Or how the laundry is piling up.
Or even the dinner someone made in three minutes, not because it was photogenic, but because it was available.
You know—life.
Instead, you see jet-setters and six-packs, product launches and proposal videos. And you start to feel like you’re falling behind.
I Do It Too
The craziest part is that it happens to me, too.
I once saw one of those broccoli-haired kids on Instagram talking about how much money they made in copywriting and thought, “Damn, Tony, why don’t you start a copywriting business?”
Then I remembered—I already have one.
I’ve frickin’ worked with Google.
Yet social media has me forgetting that.
I’ll see an author with a new book and think, “Man, you should write a book.”
I’ve written two. One of them was an Amazon bestseller.
I’ll see a guy on stage doing stand-up and think, “Come on Tony, why aren’t you doing stand-up?”
The thing is, I am doing stand-up.
But somehow… I forget.
I scroll through someone else’s highlight reel and convince myself I’m behind.
Like my whole life’s just been a warm-up act for the version of me that never quite shows up.
We Don’t Need New Lives—We Need New Lenses
Here’s what I’ve realized:
You’re probably already doing the things you admire in other people.
You just haven’t noticed.
You haven’t updated the internal bio you’re walking around with.
You’re still running on version 1.0—before the progress, before the risks you took, before the shit you overcame.
And when you don’t see it, you don’t believe it.
And when you don’t believe it, you start chasing stuff you already have.
So Here’s Your Reminder:
In all likelihood, you’re doing better than you think you are.
You’ve done things that people wish they did.
You’re further than you think.
If you’re pursuing anything—anything at all—that challenges you, scares you, or stretches you, you’re already doing more than most.
Start giving yourself credit.
Not to brag. Not to feel superior.
But because without it, you’ll always feel like you’re not enough, even when you already are.
The grass always looks greener on the other side—especially with a filter, a ring light, and a brand partnership attached to it.
But maybe—just maybe—your grass is already green.
You’ve just been too busy watering everyone else’s lawn to notice.
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think.
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I think you did a great job with realizing how much you’ve accomplished so far, yet I can’t help but notice you missed one of the most important things. You give people hope and motivate them with your work. Don’t forget that!
Thanks so much man, that’s always the goal!
Well done 👍☺️
Thank you so much
You are welcome 🙂
Your most welcome
It’s very true, we have to live our own lives in this digital age! We are not clones, we are each unique! Thanks for making it sting, we need these reminders!
The pleasure is all Mine, thank you for reading
well done and well said Tony. it’s great that you’re shining a light on this phenomenon. of all the benchmarking tools we use to compare ourselves to each other, social media should be the very last one we look to.
i can tell you that 75% of the people on there are FAKE. just like in Miami, where EVERYONE rents or borrows exotic cars for the day just to project an identity. It’s all FAKE. Instagram is the Miami of social media (don’t get me wrong though, I absolutely love Miami and Miami nightlife lol)
And the remaining 25%? If you dig deep enough they have more than a handful of constraints that – if you weaken it in any way – their house of cards will collapse.
A social media account where people verify their weekly cash flow is the best indicator of whatever wealth they flaunt but I guarantee you no one will sign up for that lol.
So, if you’re a person that feels bad about where you are rest assured, you are part of a massive median population – and that is the NATURAL order/bell curve of the world. Sometimes you’ll be above the line sometimes below it. Absolutely no need to hate yourself. thanks for the reminder Tony. Mike
Amen, Brother. Nailed it.
Thank you so much my friend
You are a talented writer and most welcome.
I feel this: “my whole life’s just been a warm-up act for the version of me that never quite shows up”… I’ve served in warzones, enjoyed over a decade at #1 on-air in a top 10 radio market, did a year-long world-wide tour singing and dancing, and I’m pushing 50 but still keeping up with the cabaret dancers decades my junior (barely)…but I didn’t try for broadway. Or publish a novel. Or stay in radio. Or push Michael Buble down the stairs and take his place crooning standards at a piano. Not only is it about everything I did NOT accomplish, but it’s that my ‘best years are behind me’, my body is “betraying” me, karma/time/g-d are all against me and I’m failing at this life. But I might be a little depressed. I blame menopause.
It sounds like you lived a super cool, super interesting life
You sound amazing!
I’m sixty and still unpublished. Finished a 23year career in the airline industry and now funding my full time writing by working at Starbucks. No glam here. However, I am finally doing the one thing I absolutely love … writing fiction. A bonus side effect was discovering I could do artwork that is nowhere near fine art, but it makes me happy.
Long ago when I was raising my kids, I told them to measure their level of success in how happy they were. If they were happy then they were successful.
Now I am trying to live that advice myself.
When I catch myself doubting via a session of social media doom scroll … I stop and google people who didn’t start achieving until they were 70. I figure I have 10years on those folks …
Point is, everyone has their own journey. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled. If you’re not because of …. then find a way to change course.
This I have to tell myself every single day.
Great reminder! I’ve slowed down a lot in the last couple of years, so it feels like I don’t do as much, but really what’s happened is I’m more focused and intentional on what I DO do.
Also, “broccoli haired kid” made me lol. 😂
Guilty, though I feel I’m slowly coming around. I’m jealous of people that “don’t do social media.” Good stuff, Tony!
Most social media is an echo chamber and this is due to the algorithms trying to show you content you respond to. Awesome article and easy read.
So true, it drives me crazy – thanks for reading my friend!
This really resonates with me: “Like my whole life’s just been a warm-up act for the version of me that never quite shows up.” This is the way I feel! How did you do that? 😊
Hahah I get lucky some days! Thank you for reading
I try to ignore social media as much as I can. But as you said, it can be addictive. (And how else will I find out when you post a cool diatribe against social media. 😉 )
Yess I agree with this!!
A good reminder for us to stop and think, especially to put aside the phones and laptops and appreciate the lives we have, rather than comparing them to those others we see on social media. Great post, Tony, thanks for sharing. 🙂
Social media is deadly for this. I fall into this trap and then I look up and think what the heck am I doing. Ha. ha.
You know, I don’t even use social media, and I still feel like this all the time. A very insightful look, thank you! I think we often don’t give ourselves enough credit, and it can be really hard not to compare yourself to other people, even if it’s unfounded.
Have a brilliant day!
Very insightful. Despite all the things I do, gardening, for me and others, and volunteering with the elderly, some of whom are not much older than me! Writing, just finishing up on another book, working on my blog, never get it out as often as you do, Tony! I still complain that I don’t get enough done. And yes, dinners are quick–a little longer than three minutes, more like ten. I always enjoy reading your wisecracks and your wisdom. Thank you
Thank you so much my friend! 10 mins dinner are where it’s at right
I’m totally there. Thanks for the article.
Thanks for reading!
Perfect stated!
Thank you so much
you re encouraging people . thank you for the post!
Thanks so much, that’s always the goal!
One of several reasons I have eliminated scrolling social media entirely. No reason for me to be on there until or unless I am selling something
Yeah i think most people are happier when it’s not in their face 24/7!
It’s easy to overlook the wins when you’re caught up chasing the next thing.
So true. So true.
Okay, this is going to save someone’s life right here:
“But maybe—just maybe—your grass is already green.
You’ve just been too busy watering everyone else’s lawn to notice.”
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you so much! It’ll be the great honor of my life if that’s true
You’re most welcome!
You know what this reminds me of? How when med students are first learning their craft and they think they have every disease they study.
Wow that’s a great observation
I loved this essay, Tony! I am one of the few, I reckon, and it’s probably because I’m so old. I went to school with a couple of Noah’s kids after the flood. I look at these videos and am frequently impressed or even knocked out of my shoes. I’m inspired by some of the ideas and try my hand at them. Happily, though, I never feel diminished by them, nor do I feel the need to compete with them. I’m off now, to build a full scale replica of St Peter’s out of matchsticks because I saw a YouTube video. Have a lovely day!
Hahah good kids to do to school with – in my opinion you have a great perspective
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Nice piece with an interesting writing style. Yup, people need to give themselves some credit for doing well. Being part of .1% is a cool aspiration, but not making it doesn’t make you a failure.
Thank you so so much for reading
“Like my whole life’s just been a warm-up act for the version of me that never quite shows up” – that hit me like a ton of bricks. Beautifully written!
Thanks so much!!
Wonderfully said! This subject has been rolling around in my thoughts and a few deleted blogs. You’ve put your finger on an aspect of changing expectations, not that we haven’t had impossible role models in front of us before, as in, movie and pop stars, but somehow they were a couple of degrees separated from us. And we only had to see Aunt Eunice, the family nit-picking, sooo disappointed nag, at birthdays and reunions. Now those epic people are in the palm of our hand, digitally beautified and refreshed, accomplishing wondrous feats (they say), and Aunt Eunice lives rent-free inside our head.
But it all does spark a bit of competitive verve in me. I like the motivation I glean from seeing the best of human potential. If only I could shake Aunt Eunice!
Thank you so so so much
And you can shake her
Nice three liners! I adore short sentence reefs like that. Good work!
Thank you so so much!!
This is great. I particularly liked the part where you talked about your life as a warm up the real thing. One of the few blogs I’ll actually follow and read.
So happy to hear that, thank you so much!
I love how you said that you felt like your whole life had been a warm-up act for the version of you that never quite shows up. I often feel like that too and I’m glad that I’m not alone. I tend to be kind of quiet and feel like I’m just getting ready for the talkative version of myself to show up that never quite does. Sometimes I feel criticized when people call me quiet, and this has inspired me to stop waiting for a different version of me to show up and to accept the version of me that exists and just do my best!
None of us are ever alone I think we all feel more or less the same – thank you for reading
This is beautiful and beautifully written – and it’s a thing I know–I know!–but I keep forgetting. Why is it that the most important things are always so elusive?
Thank you so much – I think because it’s so obvious, we tend to overlook