Top Three Douchiest Things People Post On Social Media Part Three.

The Grand Finale. The Swan Song. The Last Hurrah. The proverbial fat lady is out back warming up her pipes and her pallet. Part Three of Top Three Douchiest Things People Post On Social Media casts a wide net, (and its not to catch that damn fat lady!)

Drum roll please. The third douchiest tendency people have on social media is constant complaining, because you know we really fucking care that you were stuck in traffic and you know, it matters.

Before we start gathering around the campfire, roasting marshmallows, singing kumbaya and jerk each other off on how complaining is bad and you ultimately have the control to never have a bad day; let us acknowledge something.

We’re all human, and we all will have a bad day from time to time. Venting, talking about it, complaining to your family or friends is completely healthy and normal. If social media is your only way to connect with people, complaining on there is fine too, granted that it isn’t an everyday showcasing. I’m not going to bullshit you and say otherwise.

This article focuses on the people who constantly complain and constantly live the worst week of their life. This is dedicated to the people that view “Monday” as an odious creature that haunts them in the dark of the night. This is for the people that remind us that they missed their morning coffee, because you know, it’s important and well, maybe you were planning on driving 40 miles to deliver them coffee. Do not confuse the intent.

Constantly complaining on social media is douchey, simply because nobody fucking cares that you are having a bad day. If you’re an adult then truly nobody fucking cares that you are having a bad day. I feel as if I could be Bart Simpson and write “Nobody fucking cares that you are having a bad day” one hundred more times and end the article but that wouldn’t be fun would it?

The Constant complainer materializes in many forms. Similar to a shape shifter, phantom, or the Pokemon Ditto, our candidate can also appear in a variety of ways. If you will, The single guy or girl, the waitress that is overworked, the super sports fan, our teacher friends that have the damndest time at work and our aspiring internet politicians now all bat for the same team.


I’m sure posting a status that you are single is going to help you get laid. I’m sure tweeting how you didn’t get tipped well is going to help you get out of your financial crisis. I’m sure  that complaining about  your favorite sports team losing the game is going to help them get better and improve your mental health. I’m sure every teacher’s class has like totally the most insane kids ever and you know, I wouldn’t believe the darndest things they do. You catch my drift.

Everyone can have a bad day if they set their mind to it. Most people have something they can complain about but many choose not to. Here’s a secret: Your bad day isn’t special. You can love me or hate me for saying that, it’s up to you. You don’t have to invite me to your pizza party, but the idea of using your bad day as a means to connect with people is cheap and unoriginal. The only positive I can take away is I can see your talent is being good at having bad days; but then again I’m an optimist.

Why doesn’t anybody care that the constant complainer is having a bad day? Glad you asked! The answer is really a two-headed beast. Head one, it demonstrates a lack of responsibility / accountability for the direction of their life. Head two it exhibits shades of “The Boy who Cried Wolf Syndrome”

Head One

“I hate my job and my boss doesn’t know anything” “My boyfriend is such an asshole” “My girlfriend is so clingy” “I just want to live somewhere else”

What do these typical social media complaints all have in common? Ironically, these different complaints share the same solution. In fact most of the complaints people share on social media have the same solution. The solution is: Grow the fuck up, take responsibility for your life and change something. This can be applied to almost any complaint you have. Life is often more simple than complicated.

If you don’t like your job, get off your ass and start looking for a new job. If you don’t like who you are dating, break up with them. If you don’t want to be stuck in traffic or wait in line, wake up earlier. Whatever you do, don’t make your ordinary complaints a status on Facebook. I don’t want to read that, I want to read something awesome. I’m selfish. I have needs. Stimulate me. Sheesh.

Has asinine complaining ever lead to a solution? Absolutely not, it’s illogical to think otherwise.

Sure what I’m saying can be critiqued; “That’s easier said then done” But I think that’s wrong. Yes, making change, especially life altering change is uncomfortable and it is nerve wrecking. But it’s also easy to do, there’s often no mystery in the problem, the answer is usually spelled out. Change happens in an instant not overtime; it just takes people a while to work up the nerve to make a change. The latter is completely controllable.

When you constantly complain, it shows you’re immature and have not taken responsibility for your life. It demonstrates a victims mentality which ultimately is weak and wasteful. If you have the ability to fix the problem and you don’t then you yourself are the problem. Get out of your own way and stop marketing yourself as the person who has the worst life. That’s not a noble title to aspire towards.

Head Two

Constant complaints draws shades of “The Boy who Cried Wolf Syndrome”. If you’re not familiar with The Boy Who Cried Wolf  it is a story where a shepherd boy repeatedly tricks nearby villagers into thinking a wolf is attacking his flock. When one actually does appear and the boy again calls for help, the villagers believe that it is another false alarm and the sheep are eaten by the wolf.

If I’m consistently reading tweets about how your neighbor pissed in your cheerios and you are stuck behind a school bus, your complaints lose their power. I can’t tell if you’re serious, if you’re a negative Nancy or if in fact a rain cloud has materialized and actually follows you around. It devalues yourself, devalues your complaints and that is never a wise thing to do. If something actually is going very much wrong I wont believe you. You always have a bad day what’s new? This is why when you do complain make sure it’s something worthwhile, I’ll be more apt to help you.

A suggestion: Try something different, change it up and you know, and have a good day?

Disclaimer : There are two sides to every coin, and many people post content as it is required for their job, fuels their passion, help stay connected with family, etc. Everyone has an angle; I acknowledge this and respect the hustle. Intent is everything and this article was written with the intent to appreciate the subtle douchey idiosyncrasies of social media. This was written intentionally with a skeptical, humorous lense. As acknowledged prior, everyone including myself has been guilty of this tendency. Additionally I realize that this article is posted on social media and the focus is complaining about complainers. I appreciate the irony.

Please comment, share your feedback, share your social media pet peeves, hate me, love me or whatever. Keep the rant going below and let me know your top three douchey social media observations.

68 thoughts on “Top Three Douchiest Things People Post On Social Media Part Three.

  1. thankyou!! i used to be a poster who complained on social media (not to the max) but then I realized that i was dumb and got upset over every little thing. So everytime someone pisses me off or does something to get me angry, I just smile and think i’m better than this, this doesn’t upset me and i have a better day! 🙂 i just wanted to share! -T

    1. Hey T,

      I appreciate you sharing. Someone once told me to pay attention to what actually effects my emotions, then I gradually learned to control them.

  2. Thanks for that post. A very problematic aspect of that complaining is when people slam others and everybody knows who they mean (there are not many people,who actually deserve that). Everyone can see it, except (and sometimes even) the person concerned. That is like having a relationship/work/friendship fight in the street while every single friend or family member is watching.

  3. This series has put a persistent smile on my face…lol. I’ve been that douche. Hell, who knows maybe I will be again, although I doubt it. But then…what is doubt? lol

    1. Hey,

      Thank you so much for the feedback! If it means anything I’ve been that douche before and I will be that douche again.

  4. Hey this was a decent piece. Your part one positively slayed me. That said, may I recommend something I learned yesterday? Have your best friend proof the writing before posting. They will catch errors that word programs cannot. For instance. teachers versus teacher’s. I only make mention of this because your outline is so well arranged, and from that I sense you are serious about proper writing.

    Again I learned yesterday to have your best friend (or one who equals or surpasses your own writing skills) to proof it. I say this for two reasons. 1. They have your best interests at heart and a critique will not hurt feelings. 2. They usually know you well and can help you illustrate your points.

    This is just advice, so take it or not. My Aunt used to say: “Advice is meant to be GIVEN not TAKEN.”

    1. Hey there,

      Appreciate the feedback! i’ll be the first to admit that I need to brush up on my grammar. I’ll take your advice and run with it. Thanks again!

  5. I’ve always wondered is to why people have the constant need to complain/whine on their status facebook.
    Who cares and why should we even bother reading some random status of people’s boring lives.

    I don’t understand why humans need to complain of such things – that they make their own lives so complicated.

    Great blog my friend. I support this message…you have a truthful mind and you are blunt about things and straight to the point. Awesome!

    1. Charlie,

      Thanks for all of the kind words. I’m right there with you I’ll never understand why people post the things they do, maybe that’s a good thing.

      1. It could go both ways.

        Say, I don’t mean to bother you. Have you read my newest poem I just posted? Check it out if you get a chance. You might or might not relate to it. But you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

      2. Charlie just checked it out, I love the line “look around you, boredom feasts on triviality” good stuff man I know exactly where you are coming from.

  6. I’ve got someone in my FB feed that could win an award for #1 complainer. I especially get a kick out of the vague posts. Stuff like, “I’ve had it. I’ve totally had it up to here! Fucking why? Just why?” And I know they make the whiny posts because they get attention. Tons of comments like “Oh my gosh, what’s WRONG?!!! Aw, you poor thing. I love you! You are awesome don’t you forget it.” It takes every ounce of my being not to comment, “Let me wipe away those tears, darling. Poor wittle thing, does baby need a wittle hug? There, there. Now suck it the fuck up!”

    1. Hahahah I know exactly what you mean. It’s deff a play for attention. You should comment what you want to say next time and see what happens, I’ll bet you atleast 10 people would favorite your comment.

  7. Wow, seriously well put!


    I once was walking into a grocery store as another guy was coming out. Without warning the six pack of bottled beer he was carrying ripped through the paper sack and shattered on the pavement spewing glass and beer everywhere. Thinking of how I would feel if my beer purchase had just self-destructed in like manner and that he was probably looking forward to a cold one at the end of a long day, I commented “that’s a tragedy”.

    He kept on walking without so much as stopping. “Not a tragedy, it’s just beer”, leaving unspoken what true tragedies he had seen in his life.

    I had no response and felt small and petty. I thought about it all day.

  8. Well put, this is.
    I can think of two: 1. Sharing photos in solidarity with a cause. Or, ONLY sharing photos in solidarity with a cause. 2. “Like my status and I’ll inbox you my first impression of you” -_-

  9. Its also what people don’t say that can be an irritant, an example of this is:
    ‘Thinking’ (attention seeking bollocks it should actually say). Or ‘fuck it’, problem is you never find out what they mean as in some cases someone comments by saying ‘I will PM you’.

  10. I have been a passionate critic of such douchy things on social media, and found myself wholeheartedly agreeing with every word! However, I must also add that these idiosyncrasies add variety and entertainment to social media, at least for me. It’s sometimes fun to read these futile posts! I also love how you brought out the irony in the disclaimer. This was very well written and engaging!

  11. You ended with a big bang. I am glad someone said it.
    I have listened to the same people complain about the same things for a very long time. When I have suggested maybe making a change, I become the bad guy. and this was not on a social media site. this was on a mental health site where people were looking for help and support, wanting to feel better. Provided that help, and support and, feeling better did not come in the form of actual change.

      1. “Some people love me for my honesty some hate me for the same reason.” I wrote this in my original about me.

  12. Valid point, but I cut those people from my Facebook long time ago. But hey, I’ll give you number 4, the most annoying thing that was happening on my FB before I cut it down too. People who CONSTANTLY share Farmville or any other game invitations, chests of gold found in a game, chicken found in a game, achievement unlocked in a game, daily horoscopes, quizzes, daily hearts, daily stars, daily friends, daily dicks, friends who you have the most commont with, “inspirational” quotes on “inspirational” photos, and all other kinds of plague. Like they have literally NOTHING to say that has at least a little bit of value.

    1. Just saw your post today, and you are absolutely right- nobody gives a damn about what others have a bad day or not. And after Dominika’s number 4, here is my number 5: the most douchiest thing on my facebook newsfeed that I tried to hide” the photos of the babies – spend days in hospital for babies and then there comes the picture of it, or the growing up process of the babies, babies breakfast, my baby’s first day in school….like their life is nothing but babies. Those baby updates offers little and no value to my life and my personal goal, and why should I care about how many babies you have and how your babies doing.

      Another pet peeves of mine is the super long Facebook updates with jargon and terminologies and that the length of the article should belongs to short essays and newsblog entries. Sorry I have ADDs.

      1. Oh perfect! that shit happens to me all the time – that’s the bane of gas station coffee, I spill 80% of the time, that social media status is totally OK

  13. The part that jumped out at me is where you spoke of taking personal responsibility. Keep giving that message and life will get better for all of us if people will just stand up and take control of their own lives. That is a full-time job. Thanks for your type of communication – seemingly light on the surface, but with deep meaning. Kudos!

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