Tilted Towers, Kansas – The Nibbles and Bits Police Department would like to issue a public apology regarding an incident that took place earlier today at the tennis courts.
Officer Sparkles has been placed on a mandatory leave of absence after chasing down annoyed step Father Harold Smith and biting his balls clean off after confusing his testicles with the spare tennis ball he keeps in his pocket.
Harold was in the middle of a begrudged tennis lesson with resentful step-son Johnny, when The Officer noticed the bouncing ball and went bananas.
“That fucking dog!” Winced Harold as he was rolling away to the ambulance. “I only took that little bastard to the tennis courts because his mother wanted us to “Bond” Now I’ll never get laid again!”
Johnny was found laughing hysterically at the scene.
Officer Sparkles declined to comment on this situation however the department issued this heartfelt message,
“We’re really super duper sorry this happened, he won’t be getting any new toys in the near future”
This is a developing story.
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