Have you ever been going about your normal life, whistling Dixie, when a stupid idea kicks you square in the nuts and brings you to your knees?
Me too.
Below is what I noticed.
The People Who Complain about Traffic Typically Are The People Who Contribute to Traffic
These blind leading the blind bastards are like the boy who cried wolf, except these scholars own the damn wolf and are setting it loose in their backyard. The quintessential yin and yang of their very own torment, these people would rather complain about the traffic instead of, you know, finding alternative means of transportation. The sage advice of “Be the change you want to see” just floats right over the hood of their car and lands somewhere on a crowded highway, lost in the hustle and bustle of 50,000 people slugging home to sit down and take a massive shit. Instead of filing a complaint about traffic, I don’t know, don’t walk.
There Are Such Things As Stupid Questions
Look, I’ll level with ya, I’m all for making people feel appreciated & loved but I’m not buying into this “There’s no such thing as a stupid question” propaganda. Who’s paying you teachers? Who are you covering up for? There are plenty of stupid people, sitting around, elbow deep into a bag of potato chips asking plenty of stupid questions. Was it Einstein that was asking you questions he could Google the answer to? Was it Isaac Newton strolling around asking “How many farts does it take to kill a sumo?” Probably not. But for whatever illogical reason, people are brain washed into believing that there is no such thing as a stupid question. I can’t tell you why, but that line has been drawn in the sand and if you have the moxie to step over it, good luck, it’s an uphill battle in subzero temperatures. Ironically, people will happily admit there are such things as a stupid person and happily bitch about them… behind their back of course. So if there are such things as a stupid person, wouldn’t that person be a prime candidate of asking a stupid question? Or is that too crazy, you be the judge. Perhaps the person who spent the entire morning shoving crayons up their ass instead of paying attention might just let a stupid question slip out of their stupid mouth. But what the Hell do I know, I’m just a guy who’s asked plenty of stupid questions and will likely ask a few more.
Long Story Short Is Three Wasted Words
Instead of, you know, telling me it’s a long story short, can’t we just serve up the story short and quit the foreplay? I don’t need to know the backstory of your presentation; I’ll just take the presentation cold and sober. Surprise me, I’m a gambling man and furthermore, I’m a brevity man.
Single People Ironically Give Relationship Advice
In a world where everyone wants to feel loved, have you noticed that the people who give the most relationship advice are usually the ones who are chronically single and the ones who shouldn’t be passing out advice like smuggled candy bars at fat camp? Or is it just me? I don’t know, if I’m going to take relationship advice, it’s probably going to be from someone who was in one.
Practice Makes Perfect Doesn’t Apply To Sleep
After 20 some-odd years you’d think I’d be a pro at this but dammit, why can’t I sleep?!
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think. This is satire. What are some stupid questions that you have heard?
The best thing about “long story short” is that they say that and give you the summary AFTER they already told the long story
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Yeah hahah good point
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Long story short – Yes!
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Thank you sir
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Practice makes perfect doesn’t apply to eating and drinking. I’m a mature grown woman and I still spill food and drink on myself all the time.
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Hahah me too
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Me too. The stains! Not so kind on the clothing budget. Thank goodness for thrift stores.
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Now I don’t feel quite so bad, or as much of an outcast.
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Or when people say they have nothing to say and then prove it by talking stupid talk for the next six minutes.
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So true
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Good stuff, Tony! You are a great humorist. I must say that while I have been known to tell people “There is no such thing as a stupid question” I know it’s not true. I say it to make them feel better actually. Call it a little white lie or b.s. I guess. Love the commentary on “long story short”–you are so right!
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate the humor compliment, that’s always my goal when I write.I tell people that too when they ask something stupid, that will be our little white lie
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“Single people ironically give relationship advice”- oops, I think I did it too many times 😑😅
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It’s ok me too
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For me it’s the DINKs giving parenting advice, but I do it as a dog owner. I seriously think so many people I know would have well-behaved kids if they took puppy training classes. 😀
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Good idea 👍
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My 12th Grade Government teacher once told my class, “Students, there is such a thing as a stupid question, because there are stupid people”. Wise man.
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Gold. Thanks for the laugh first thing this morning!
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Thanks man I appreciate it
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Long Story Short. My brain hears Oh My God, NO!
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Oh boy, you’re asking us to provide you stupid questions we’ve heard? Oh there are too many! I’ve been spending the past two years back in my hometown trying to forget and bury all the idiocy I’ve experienced for it’s been too much. Too much! Luckily there are a few great brains and sometimes the low-powered-brains still have high-powered hearts. See? My self therapy is working. But I’ll tell you one question a mail person asked me that set me back a step. “Do you really want all those third world people moving over here and voting for big government?!”
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That’s a great one!
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Why can’t a single person be a relationship expert? In the words of the immortal Yogi Berra, “You can observe a lot just by watching.” Personal experience is also very limited, and resulting opinions drawn from experience are subjective.
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Of course a single person can be share knowledge, but this was written to be a joke; the humor is in the contradiction. And yes, Yogi Berra is a wise mofo
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I knew you meant it tongue in cheek.
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Yes sir! My friend
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my adage has always been there’s no such thing as a stupid question. Stupid answers is another story.
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HHah I like that
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