Have you ever been going about your normal life, whistling Dixie, when a stupid idea kicks you square in the nuts and brings you to your knees?
Below is what I noticed.
The People Who Complain about Traffic Typically Are The People Who Contribute to Traffic
These blind leading the blind bastards are like the boy who cried wolf, except these scholars own the damn wolf and are setting it loose in their backyard. The quintessential yin and yang of their very own torment, these people would rather complain about the traffic instead of, you know, finding alternative means of transportation. The sage advice of “Be the change you want to see” just floats right over the hood of their car and lands somewhere on a crowded highway, lost in the hustle and bustle of 50,000 people slugging home to sit down and take a massive shit. Instead of filing a complaint about traffic, I don’t know, don’t walk.
There Are Such Things As Stupid Questions
Look, I’ll level with ya, I’m all for making people feel appreciated & loved but I’m not buying into this “There’s no such thing as a stupid question” propaganda. Who’s paying you teachers? Who are you covering up for? There are plenty of stupid people, sitting around, elbow deep into a bag of potato chips asking plenty of stupid questions. Was it Einstein that was asking you questions he could Google the answer to? Was it Isaac Newton strolling around asking “How many farts does it take to kill a sumo?” Probably not. But for whatever illogical reason, people are brain washed into believing that there is no such thing as a stupid question. I can’t tell you why, but that line has been drawn in the sand and if you have the moxie to step over it, good luck, it’s an uphill battle in subzero temperatures. Ironically, people will happily admit there are such things as a stupid person and happily bitch about them… behind their back of course. So if there are such things as a stupid person, wouldn’t that person be a prime candidate of asking a stupid question? Or is that too crazy, you be the judge. Perhaps the person who spent the entire morning shoving crayons up their ass instead of paying attention might just let a stupid question slip out of their stupid mouth. But what the Hell do I know, I’m just a guy who’s asked plenty of stupid questions and will likely ask a few more.
Long Story Short Is Three Wasted Words
Instead of, you know, telling me it’s a long story short, can’t we just serve up the story short and quit the foreplay? I don’t need to know the backstory of your presentation; I’ll just take the presentation cold and sober. Surprise me, I’m a gambling man and furthermore, I’m a brevity man.
Single People Ironically Give Relationship Advice
In a world where everyone wants to feel loved, have you noticed that the people who give the most relationship advice are usually the ones who are chronically single and the ones who shouldn’t be passing out advice like smuggled candy bars at fat camp? Or is it just me? I don’t know, if I’m going to take relationship advice, it’s probably going to be from someone who was in one.
Practice Makes Perfect Doesn’t Apply To Sleep
After 20 some-odd years you’d think I’d be a pro at this but dammit, why can’t I sleep?!
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think. This is satire. What are some stupid questions that you have heard?