Cleveland, Ohio. – It wasn’t the fireworks you heard last night during the game, it was something more explosive.
It was like any other Sunday evening for Nick Parcells, an avid Browns fan. He was at home hosting a party, ignoring his wife, trying to enjoy the playoffs when a blown call blew his mind… literally.
“Our detectives tell us around 8PM Parcells head exploded and we believe it was right after that blown call that cost us the game.” muttered annoyed Police Chief Ted Thompson. “I mean how do the refs miss a pass interference call like that? I could have arrested Ochefsky for mugging our receiver… Unbelievable.”
“You gotta realize this wasn’t any old game, nah – this wasn’t the mundane, the routine… this was the playoffs baby! and anyone’s head could have exploded… I’m lucky it wasn’t me … it should have been me. Those stupid fuckin’ refs are blind! How do you miss a call like that? They killed my friend!” shouted drunk friend Ben Harrison.
“I told him to calm down.” whimpered Mary, the wife of the recently deceased Nick Parcells in between shaky shots of vodka, “ I told him to mind his blood pressure…but he wouldn’t listen, he was married to me but his mistress was the TV and that’s what killed him.” “One moment he was standing up, screaming at the TV, then BAM he’s gone.” Mary explained with surprised eyes.
“Listen, you tell Hollywood that Nick Parcells was a die hard fan who ended up dying doing what he loved… watching football and I’m no poet, but to me, that was beautiful.. you know I hope I go out like that, or maybe I wanna drown in a giant glass of beer. Yeah that would be nice.” Reassured Ben Harrison.
Police are investigating on whether to press charges against the refs or not. “We are in the early stages of investigation and cannot comment on our next move.” Said Thompson. “We just want to remind you to control your temper while watching the game, it’s not worth the tragedy.
This is a developing story.
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