Lost Airplane Luggage Takes Extended Vacation

Cups clink over the sound of a tropical restaurant as the dinner rush comes alive.

You watch a dozen lips crack into a smile between long sips of Pina Coladas.

A mariachi band with funny, frizzy, hat-dangling balls plays on stage.

And you’re puffing on a nice, fat Cuban cigar.

You’re Jerry’s lost luggage taking an extended vacation, and life is good.

It’s not that you wanted to go on Vacation. It’s that you needed to.

Because the fact is, in this relationship, Jerry treated you like luggage.

He stuffed you with his dirty laundry. Filled you up with his bullshit.

He dragged you around, puddles & all, and threw you in the back.

You two had such a one-sided relationship that even Dr. Phil would call it an emotional attic.

So when you saw the opportunity to escape for a couple of extra days in sunshine and paradise, you had only three words to say:

“Jimmy Fucking Buffett

You order another Mai Tai and imagine what Jerry must be thinking now.

You imagine he’s feeling a spike of excitement watching baggage claim churn, thankful to be home from a long flight.

You see his anticipation rise as he watches bag after bag slowly pour in, hoping the next bag is you.

He even perks up as your lookalike rolls by.

But after ten deflating minutes come and go with no you in sight, a damning thought worms its way into his brain.

 “Where the hell is my fucking bag?”

Those fucking idiots lost my bag!”


You laugh a laugh called freedom.

The call for a limbo contest snaps you out of your daydream as a hula girl throws her lei around your handle.

Now you roll a little faster.

Zip up a little quicker.

And lean up a little taller.

You’re Jerry’s luggage on extended vacation, and life is good.

Please, like, comment, share and tell me what you think. Have you ever lost your luggage? What’s a funny travel memory?

20 thoughts on “Lost Airplane Luggage Takes Extended Vacation

  1. LOL – lost luggage is always a nuisance, the good news is on a tropical island you wouldn’t need much luggage. A robe and towel from hotel could keep you covered at the pool or ocean.

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