“Does anyone have any questions?”
Around you, seven people stare at their screens, blinking like frogs in a biology lab.
This meeting was scheduled for an hour, but by some rare stroke of luck, seemed destined to wrap up in 20 minutes.
Against your better judgment, you let yourself feel that dangerous flicker of optimism — the kind that whispers, maybe I’ll get to go home early.
Then, Jill raised her hand.
“Sorry, I just have one more thing…”
And just like that, hope leaves your body like a popped balloon.
Jill launches into a question that somehow manages to involve exactly one person while affecting every other person. This is Jill’s gift — a rare talent for wasting maximum time with minimum effort.
You want to listen, but you’re too caught up in something far more baffling: Jill, sitting 2,000 miles away in her home office, raised her hand, presumably to an audience of houseplants.
This alone — a minor, insignificant detail — morphs into a major plot point in your growing case against Jill.
Ten minutes later, her question is answered, but the meeting’s energy has shifted — muted faces, eyes wandering off-screen, and the unmistakable vibe of wow, this was a complete waste of time has filled the void.
Sensing his moment, Matt — your meeting’s leader — jumps in.
“So… are we good here? Does anyone have anything else?”
Hope flickers back to life. You shake your head aggressively, the international symbol for I beg you, let me leave.
Sure, the meeting went 10 minutes longer, but you still can get out 30 minutes early. It’s a corproate win.
But just as you hear, “Okay, I’ll see you all next week…” a crackle comes over the mic.
“Sorry… I have one more small thing.”
It’s Jill again.
And her hand’s still raised.
That bitch.
In your mind, if Jill’s name were a sound, it’d be the relentless ‘ding’ your car makes when you forget to shut the door — nagging, unnecessary, and deeply infuriating.
This time, her question remains insignificant but somehow awakens Drew — a man who believes his life’s purpose is to make meetings longer than they need to be. Drew jumps in uninvited, offering a rambling opinion that answers nothing and somehow creates more questions.
You glance at the clock. The meeting should have ended 20 minutes ago. Inside, you’re squirming — not just because you now have to use the restroom, but because you know what’s happening:
The longer a meeting runs, the worse your odds of escaping. Questions are monsters that grow tentacles and pull people in, and you feel it wrapping around your neck.
After 20 minutes of back-and-forth, a few passive-aggressive watch checks, and several mute buttons pressed in frustration, Matt finally regains control.
“Okay, so… are we good to go?”
You smile. The end is here. Sweet, sweet freedom. Just 10 minutes away from the scheduled end.
“Okay, I’ll see you all next week…”
“Guys, I’m sorry. One last thing…”
The collective sigh is so loud you’re surprised nobody’s smoke alarm goes off.
“Yes, Jill…”
“Well — I just don’t understand what I have to do for…”
That’s when Matt finally grows some sense.
“Hey Jill, why don’t we connect after the meeting if this doesn’t involve everyone?”
And just like that, it’s over.
Thirty minutes late, but it’s over.
And that’s life in corporate America — where every meeting has a Jill, a Drew, and a flicker of hope that dies exactly when you need it most.
Please like comment, share and tell me what you think. Have you been in this meeting?
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Soooo funny!!! I whine about this to my partner after every single online class, the level of self awareness some people have just blows my mind lol….like shut tf up!!
I know it’s like if it only affects you, just wait until everyone is off the meeting
Some people just love to hear themselves talk I swear!
You’re not wrong! At times I’m guilty of this too
Oh, how I don’t miss those meetings. I once worked for a USA company with offices in the UK, and we had to have meetings for everything. Or briefings on new innovations – these were held several times during one day, so that every employee could attend one of them, so that there were always some people minding the store. Nobody really wanted to go – and these were in person, not on a computer screen – as we’d all got far too much to do waiting on our desks. Once there we’d all listen, shake our heads wisely and wait for the ‘Does anybody have any questions?’ enquiry. You could feel the energy of the prayer rising to the ceiling from everyone who’d been conscripted into this waste of working time–except for one, the one who always felt that those who took the trouble to inform us all of what they were doing deserved a question to justify the time they’d spent on it. So we all sat there, glazing over and zoning out, desperate to escape. No, I don’t miss them at all! I had a poster on the noticeboard near my desk which proclaimed ‘Meetings: The practical alternative to work’. Said it all, really. Thanks for the memories, Tony. Have a good week. 🙂 🙂
Hahah that’s great, meetings the practical alternative to work – it gives me an idea!
Glad it does it for you – a good bit of irony at work there. The other one I liked was an A4 sheet of paper with a large circle in the middle of it – maybe a 10 inch diametre? The wording at the top read something like ‘For tension relief, please bang head here.’ Oh the joys of the workplace! 🙂
Glad to hear others experienced Jill in their professional career. Like you say, it seems like the whole shabang is winding down at long last; however, as you report, Jill raises her stupid hand. It never fails.
Never fails my friend, never fails – thank you for reading
No problem at all.
Irony is that the vast majority of meetings that I got pulled into had their fluff and delays towards the beginning. Most would ask to sideline their questions and watch others roll.
So true!!
That’s on Matt, honestly . . . if the first question didn’t involve everyone, Matt should have ended it then and cut to Jill to give her the one-on-one time she OBVIOUSLY needs. I hate a meeting. I’m the person who is like, “This could have been an email” every single time. UGH! LOL!
It always could have been an email SMH
https://media.tenor.com/Y4Wkd9dbV9gAAAAM/facts-cora.gif
No truer words were ever spoken. I have lived this exact scenario my entire life. Currently this situation involves an asshat named Brian. We all have a Brian or a Jill in our life. Thank you for this! It definitely made me laugh. And cringe.
Misery loves company
🤣🤣🤣Never, ever, ask a question at a meeting. Or bring up a point. Or speak, if you can help it in any way.
That’s my motto lmao – thanks for reading
Corporate America at its finest! I hate it with every fiber of my being, yet I’ve been in it for over 20 years.
I think I was in that meeting…
Reading this has ruined me. Lol i will never work with someone named jill
Hahah thanks for reading my friejx
I work for RE/MAX, and we have an online meeting every other Monday afternoon, when I’d rather be cleaning a toilet or doing the ironing rather this trying to look interested in the meeting. I feel you, brother. I really do feel you.
And it’s Monday again, but there’s no meeting, so I’ll be reading a book or showing a house . . . both are pleasant alternatives to an online meeting, or any meeting, for that matter.
Totally agree
I know these meetings
Klausbernd 🙂
They’re the worst!
Had a few great chuckles, so relatable. I’ve been to several meeting that were very similar. However my time is set and I always find myself leaving early only to miss out on a big finish.
I feel the pain!
Hahaha, the Jills of this world!
I was a university dean for 10 years and this story triggered my experiences of the weekly Provost Council meetings. Talk about PTSD (Provost Tedium Subjected on Deans)!
If there ain’t no donuts, it ought to be an email.
Wise words