Life

The Game to Managing Your Emotions

“You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.”

That was my welcome-home message to myself.

I had just come home from work and walked into a domestic apocalypse:

The cat puked on the rug, my laundry pile was starting to look like Jabba the Hutt, and I somehow forgot to renew my insurance — again.

It wasn’t even a big deal, objectively.

Just one of those days where life throws three mildly annoying things at you and your brain responds like you’ve been drafted into war.

I collapsed on the couch, head in hands, pulled out my phone, and began the sacred ritual of doom-scrolling. You know, instead of just… handling it.

But here’s the kicker: none of the shit I had to do was actually hard.


All it would have taken was fifteen minutes.


That’s it.


Just sacrificing a quarter of an episode of whatever stupid show I was watching, and I would have been done.


But instead, I sat there thinking about how much it was going to suck.


How “overwhelmed” I was.


I procrastinated all day, and by 10 PM, I was in full-blown panic mode, rushing through it all like a cracked-out squirrel.

The reality?


I didn’t need a break.


I didn’t need a motivational quote.


I needed to get over myself.

And it made me realize: this isn’t just about chores.


This is how we treat life.

The Emotional Overreaction Olympics

Humans are pretty bad at managing our emotions. Like, Olympic-level bad.


Given one mildly annoying task, we don’t just overthink — we catastrophize.


We act like sending one email is equivalent to a root canal.


Like doing 20 push-ups is doing a 20-year term.

Take my first job in outside sales.


I knew I had to make cold calls. That’s, like, the entire job description. Cold calls = money.


But did I willingly do it at first? Hell no.


I reorganized my desk like my life depended on it. I “researched” companies for hours. I made fifteen coffees and probably invented a new filing system at some point.

Anything to avoid picking up the phone.

Why? Because I told myself it was hard. That it was going to suck. That I was “bothering people.”


I basically ran a masterclass in avoidance — because deep down, I was scared.


Scared of rejection.


Scared of discomfort.


Scared of failing at something that mattered.

Your Brain is a Liar (With Good Intentions)

This is the core problem: we don’t resist doing the thing because it’s objectively hard.


We resist it because we feel like it’s going to be hard.

And feelings are not facts. They’re just loud, hormonal guesses that your brain makes in the moment.

When your brain tells you something will suck, it’s trying to protect you.


“Hey, buddy, that thing might be painful. Let’s just… not do that.”

But that voice? That’s the same voice that convinces you to stay in bad relationships, keep bad habits, and put off the shit you need to do to grow.
It’s like your emotional compass is always a little bit drunk.

The Reframe That Changes Everything

You’ve probably heard the Henry Ford quote:
“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

Here’s my version:
“Whether you think it’s going to suck or it’s going to be fun — you’re probably right.”

I’ve had friends say, “I don’t get how you write so much — it seems like torture.”


But to me, it’s not, far from it. It’s fun. It’s play. I love everything about the craft… that’s why I do it.

Same with working out.

I know people who want to get in shape but can’t get over how hard they think it will be.

But for me, I don’t drag myself to the gym — I look forward to it.

I call it, “Nature’s stress reliever.”  So I do it, willingly.

But here’s my not-so-secret secret:
I didn’t always feel that way.
I trained myself to enjoy it.

You Can Trick Yourself Into Liking Stuff

The key to managing your emotions isn’t about eliminating discomfort.


It’s about reframing the discomfort into something that feels good.

It’s mental sleight of hand. Jedi mind tricks. Call it whatever you want.


If you can convince yourself something is fun, you’re way more likely to do it — and to keep doing it.

How? A few ways:

  • Focus on what you enjoy: I don’t love every part of writing. (Especially getting started.) But I love being in flow. I love chasing the “aha” moment when it all clicks. So I chase that.

  • Find the game inside the grind: Cold calling? I used to call it professional trick-or-treating. I gamified it. How many “no”s can I get today? How many weird conversations can I collect?

  • Remind yourself you get to do this shit: Most people in the world would kill to have “laundry and insurance” problems. Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good thing — it’s a practical emotional tool.

Full Circle: Pain Is Inevitable, Suffering Is Optional

You can’t avoid hard things. Life doesn’t work that way.
But you can change your story about them.

You can decide that the hard thing is meaningful. That the discomfort is worth it. That maybe — just maybe — it’s kind of fun.

Because when you think something is going to be hard, you avoid it.
But when you think it’s going to be fun? You chase it.

And sometimes, the difference between a shitty day and a good one is just choosing to believe the voice in your head is full of shit — and doing the thing anyway.

Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think. Do you agree?

Never miss a blog post and sign up for my emails here too! Tonysbologna | Anthony Robert | Substack

35 thoughts on “The Game to Managing Your Emotions”

  1. So true! We all put thing’s off lol I had a chat yesterday with my 25yr old and she was having a tough day – down in the dumps and feeling like she didn’t want to do anything. Yes, it can be hard to self motivate and like yourself, end up endless scrolling and procrastinating but in the end – stuff has to get done. And, we can meh about all we want lol but we have to do it. And as I write this – I’m thinking go frigging workout, then have breakfast, then like, you had to do, sort shizz out and pay bills lol. So on that note, I’m off to work out – happy Tuesday 🙂

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  2. I used to abhor working out, and now, it’s one of my most favorite things to do.

    Before I tackle a task that I assume will be hard, I tell myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” and I dive in. I’m more of a pull the bandaid off quickly type of person.

    And I love how you phrased this:

    “It’s like your emotional compass is always a little bit drunk.” THAT PART! 🤣😂😆

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    1. Thank you so much, I try to be a band-aid puller too. Currently challenging myself to start writing a bit earlier in the morning instead of scrolling in my phone for 10 mins

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  3. Ah, the gym. I used to be a ‘gym rat’, loved weightlifting, fancied myself to be Chyna of WWE fame (showing my age here). But now, I dread the crowds, self-consciously waiting for equipment or comparing my own sad stack of plates on the bar compared to the person next to me. For the last two days, I got dressed for the gym, drove there, pulled in and through the parking lot and left without even going inside (calling myself all sorts of mean, unflattering names on the way home). I’m not usually a procrastinator but dang if the gym doesn’t have me seriously hung up for some reason.

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  4. “Your brain is a liar.” I love it. I wrote recently about the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid and their line about jumping off the cliff comes to mind. Sundance is worried about swimming, Butch reminds him the fall is what’s going to kill him. It’s not the Annoyance like the cold call that causes me problems. It’s the procrastination and putting it off. It get’s me every stinking time. Ha, ha. Thanks for the ideas.

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  6. Oh my goodness, this is me too! I guess my brain is ever so sneakily on the prowl trying to set me up lol. It’s so pathetic too. The fact that I will fall for it again and again! I know I’m not the only one. Thanks for putting it into words here, Tony.

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  7. It’s easier to do the things we enjoy. Fact. Unless we have some sort of mental block, like, How dare I think I can be a successful writer, imposter syndrome, call it what you will. We all get those things about something. Personally I never have the imposter thing about being a writer. I wrote a book, published it, wrote some more and yes, I worry about people liking them but hell, they have to read them in the first place to like or dislike them, so if they actually read them it’s a win. I’d also reached an age where I don’t give a rat’s backside about what other people think, so if they read and don’t like, a shame, but I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. I write because I want to, not because I think I’m going to get fame and fortune from it. Whatever. Back to the task in hand. No way could I ever fool myself into thinking that cleaning up the cat puke is going to be fun. It’s just an unpleasant but necessary task, because I don’t want to sit there with pile of cat puke on the carpet: so I do it. Laundry is something else, not unpleasant but not fun either. One of the tasks that needs to be done. Life’s like that – we have to spend so much time doing necessary chores, after which we can spend the rest of the time doing what we like. New point: I’ve just read a book called ‘Understanding Procrastination: An Insight Into Procrastinating and Distractions and How to Control Them’ by a guy called Jason Newman. What did I learn? That I’m not really a procrastinator. I just can’t be a$$ed to do a few things I ought to because I doubt they’ll do me any good – and I think my instincts are good on that. Anyhow, hopefully I’ve bored you enough with my waffle that you’ll finding cleaning up after the cat a pleasant pastime. Go to it, my friend. Enjoy 🙂

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    1. Loved your waffle, and your right it doesn’t matter is someone likes or dislikes what we write, as long as they read, we’re winning.

      I think society would be better if more people had mature viewpoints

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      1. If only. It’s frightening how immature so many apparent adults can be. Good to meet mature minds on here. Have a good week my friend. 😊

  8. “Just one of those days where life throws three mildly annoying things at you and your brain responds like you’ve been drafted into war.” I’m saving this quote, thanks. A reminder that it’s not just me.

    I’ve been reading Epictetus and so much of it has been a reminder of the basic truth I heard all my life in youth group: “Your attitude is your choice.” Of course he says it more astutely: “It is for you to arrange your priorities; but whatever you decide to do, don’t do it resentfully as if you were being imposed on. And don’t believe your situation is genuinely bad–no one can make you do that.” Basically, your life and whether you enjoy it is down to what you believe about it. Own your choices. Make better ones. Don’t obsess over things beyond your control.

    Really great, practical reminders here! And an entertaining read, too, so thanks!

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  10. Quite a motivational piece this is! I agree. This is exactly how emotions take the better of us. I have struggled a lot and have finally learnt my lesson.

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  14. We’re not young anymore … and we have stairs in our house. I look at the stairs as an opportunity to get a little exercise. My husband tends to look at the stairs as a nuisance. Personally, I think the stairs are helping me to keep fit. I go up and down them a lot.
    Your article is spot on and great advice. I need to apply it to more areas of my life than just stairs!

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  15. A long time ago someone gave me some very Sage advice. If you have a list of things to do, study it and decide which if those things you really don’t want to do and do it first. Everything else is easy after that. I follow that rule and it makes my lazy ass get through all the nitty gritty crap so I could go lay on the sofa and watch YouTube😁

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  16. Great read! I always tell myself, “Action creates motivation” when I struggle to start a task. (This came from a book I read years ago.) Another way I try to feel less overwhelmed is by starting with the task that will make me feel like I have accomplished something. It may be putting up the laundry that has been sitting on the couch for a week, sweeping the kitchen floor, sending out a few extra work emails, or taking the dog for a walk. Once I have that feeling of accomplishment, moving to the next task is easier.

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  17. Absolutely—I’ve definitely noticed that I go through cycles. There are stretches where I’m dialed in, getting things done efficiently and sticking to good habits. It feels great—like I’m finally in control. But then, almost without noticing, I’ll shift. The habits slip, I start procrastinating more, and suddenly I’m back in that loop of avoidance and stress. It’s like I keep flipping between momentum and inertia. Still figuring out how to make the productive phases last longer without burning out or reverting.

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