The Music
You’re at your computer when your coffee trembles.
And you pause, wondering if you’ve been transported to Jurassic Park.
So you pull your headphones off and that’s when it hits you—
a wave of bass crashing into your house like you live inside a nightclub speaker.
Your sweetheart of a neighbor has decided it’s the perfect time for you to hear music.
Just when you decided it was the perfect time for your work call.
Lawn Wars
You’re on the couch, trying to ignore your cat begging like it hasn’t eaten since 1902, when you hear it—
the roar of your neighbor’s mower.
And suddenly you’re pulled outside like it’s a summons.
Your hands grab the mower.
Your feet start walking.
And you mow against your will.
A week later, you mow first just to spite the bastard.
And this time, he’s the one who follows.
Now you’re both locked in a Cold War of grass.
And no one can surrender.
Until winter, that is.
Kids in the Lawn
You’re watching TV when a blur streaks past your window.
Then your doorbell pings.
Motion detected.
You get up. Nothing there.
You sit back down.
Another blur.
This time it’s a football.
You smile. Nice to see kids outside.
But three hours later, the game is still happening.
The shouting. The fumbles. The sideline disputes—
all unfolding on your lawn.
And you realize you’ve become the thing you swore you’d never be:
the villain in a coming-of-age movie.
The Borrower
Your neighbor knocks.
Big smile.
Guilts you instantly.
“Can I borrow a screwdriver?”
You silently sigh and reluctantly hand it over.
Two weeks later—
There it is.
On his porch.
Rusting in the sun.
Putting you in a pickle.
Do you ask for it back?
Do you steal it back?
Or do you buy a new one?
Then you remember—
This is the same guy who once asked to borrow ice.
And thinking about this will only melt your patience.
Trash Day
You take your bin out quietly.
Civilized.
The evening before.
Your neighbor takes his out like a morning tornado.
6 a.m.—screeching down the driveway, bottles clattering in the breeze.
And somehow he still misses the f*cking truck.
Again.
So the garbage sits there.
For days.
Attracting raccoons.
Lowering the value of the neighborhood.
Driveway Politics
Your neighbor owns six cars.
Only four fit in his driveway.
And the car he actually drives is always the one buried deepest.
So every morning, it’s musical chairs with six sedans—
horns honking, engines revving, doors slamming.
And you’re the unwilling audience.
Front row. No intermission.
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I can especially relate to the lawn mowing and garbage can scenarios. Great post!
Fun times! We’re in the dog days of cutting grass, the season is almost over
I can’t make a comment. I think WordPress is out to get me. i know YouTube is
Too funny Tony. I can relate to all of them. My wife makes fun of the back-to-back mowing. She calls it hypnosis mowing — like it’s a trance or something calling me. She wonders all the time if it works for other things like her honey do list. I tell her that it categorically does not work that way! 🤣🤣🤣😎😎😎
Wait to defend our fight brother – only works with mowing I agree
Some nutty neighbour antics I have suffered from…They cut grass all year even in December and always on a Sunday morning. Bank Holiday weekend they gotta just gotta do something which involves hammering. I swear it was just the repeatedly hitting nails in a piece of wood to annoy everyone. The BBQ which seems to smoke more than any chimney I ever saw and my fav rave was they always seemed to be home before me no matter what time I got home. I left work as I had a half day. I was home by 1.30pm guess who was already home. I had a day off guess who had a day off and I didn’t tell anyone. My revenge came when I worked from home before Covid and was always home before them Happy days
The prostitutes in the unit above me playing loud music to drown out I’m not sure what. The guy who mistakenly comes to my door with a goofy smile asking for a Cindy. “No, there is no Cindy here. You might find her upstairs, though.”
Now that’s a start to a good story!
The dog walking neighbor whose dog always does what doggies do on your lawn. He never tries to pick it up. Unfortunately, this is a huge dog with intestinal issues. The owner looks at you like you have two heads and the dog growls if you mention it to them, even if you catch them and realize only the dog really gives a shit.
Genius yes, I totally forgot about that
We’ve had a few of these, but fortunately now we’re in a detached house so can ignore those neighbours with whom we don’t get on. Many years ago we had friends who were bothered by noisy neighbours in their semi-detached houses. One evening they got a turntable – one of those old-fashioned ones with a 7-inch spike up the middle for a stack of discs and the ability to automatically drop the next one down and play it at the end of the previous. They put it next to the party wall, turned the speakers to the wall, added a huge stack of LPs, turned the volume up to full, set it going and went out for the evening. The neighbours were somewhat quieter in the future. Love the karma. 😎
Now that’s a story right there!!!
“… the villain in a coming-of-age movie” 😆😆😆
That’s me now
I’m sadly familiar with all of these😅 And I just hate the lawnmower sound so that annoys me no matter it happens. Our yards aren’t even that big! I use an old school reel mower aka Amish mower- makes about as much noise as my barber’s scissors😎
Children and their loud music while they swim in their pool late at night (bc I’m old)… normally, I don’t mind – if the music is good and I’m not trying to sleep. Yesterday? Sleep eluded me for a solid hour and their music was not pleasant. 😅
Funny. I’ll add the neighbor with a loud diesel truck going to work at 5am. Then, drives past the house 5 more times each day. What the…? LOL
Lmao I know them. I grew up in that area
We lived next to Satan’s sister for years – nice to know I am not alone
Yikes!! Thank you so much for reading
Someone who lives in my apartment complex starts their car every day and every night, inside of the parking garage. Nascar cars have nothing on this person’s car. It’s got to be the loudest car in the entire city. I can hear it racing down the street, every day and every night. All week long, rain or shine. Imagine the evil thoughts that go through my mind that would put a stop to this. ✌️
Hahaha wild