He wasn’t supposed to see you.
Not here.
Not now.
Not standing in line at a gas station holding a roll of toilet paper making you look even more full of shit.
But there he is — your barber — coffee in one hand, empty business in the other, eyeing your freshly cut hair with just a little too much precision.
Immediately, you pull your hoodie up and look away.
Your barber clears his throat.
“Hey, man…”
You turn suddenly and feign surprise.
“Johnny! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the shop?”
His eyes narrow.
“Barbers need gas too.”
You’ve never felt more like an idiot.
You readjust your hood, hoping it covers the evidence, before crossing your arms.
“It’s cold in here, huh?” you lie, on this 80-degree day.
“A Regular blizzard,” he says, wiping sweat off his face. He starts circling you — slow, deliberate — like a shark. Inspecting. Judging. Betryal building in his eyes.
You laugh nervously.
“Long time no see.”
You both let that hang in the air.
“I can tell,” he says. “Nice haircut.”
Your face shoots forward as you silently curse.
You knew you were spotted.
And when you look up, you see it — that look of disappointment.
Like all those years of haircuts and small talk just got flushed down the drain with the toilet paper you’re holding in your hands.
“Yeah,” you manage. Your eyes dart toward the front of the line — only one person ahead. You briefly consider leaving the gas station altogether.
Johnny taps his foot.
“So… why didn’t you call?”
You tilt your head. “About what?”
He raises an eyebrow. “About your hair.”
Fuck. There it is. The guilt trip.
The truth is, you wanted to go to him.
But he’s got that “call for an appointment” policy — and you’ve always been a “walk right in” kind of man.
You can’t say that though.
You can’t say, I was too lazy to make a 30-second phone call. Saying it out loud would make it worse.
Then the perfect excuse hits you.
“I was out of town,” you blurt. “Vacation.”
He hums, unimpressed.
“Yeah, vacation — went to Miami… had a piña colada.”
He takes a step back, squinting, head turning.
“You’re looking a little pale for Miami.”
You squirm. Your eyes find the gas station attendant, silently begging him to hurry up.
“Uh… Miami of Ohio,” you manage.
You stand there frozen in time, just long enough for the person in front of you to cash out.
The entire time, Johnny is silently judging your relationship.
Finally, you crack.
“Yeah, you know, it’s my wife’s alma mater. She wanted me to clean up before the trip. I forgot, so I did it there.”
He shakes his head.
“Uh-huh. So why didn’t you get it cut before you left?”
Fuck.
You look off toward the candy bars, pick one up, and start reading the label like it contains instructions on how to get out of this awkward situation.
“Didn’t plan it in time. You know how it goes. How’re the kids?”
He squints again, his gaze slicing right through you.
“Why didn’t you call?” He demands.
You look away. “I just… just forgot.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You forgot? You’ve been coming to me for twelve years.”
You step forward, defensive.
“Yeah, I forgot. I forgot what I had for breakfast, too. What do you want? A written apology?”
“Well that’d be nice!”
Then all at once, you exhale.
“Look, I’m sorry, man. I was just being lazy. But you’re getting the next one.”
He crosses his arms. “Are you sure I will?”
You frown. “C’mon, man. Of course.”
You drop your hood. “We both know nobody can cut my hair as good as you.”
He smiles faintly. “ Ok….You know, you could text. I’ll make a slot.”
“Yeah, I know, I just—”
And that’s when the gas station clerk cuts in.
“Are you jackasses gonna hurry the fuck up, or are you going to make out. I got a line here!”
It was like a window shattering.
You both turn.
The clerk blinks.
Then you turn back to the barber.
“Yeah, man,” you say finally. “I’ll see you next week.”
You then turn back to the clerk and talk out of the side of your mouth.
“We got A LOT to talk about.”
Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think. Has this happened to you?
Cheater! Now how do you tell the barber that you like how the new guy cut it and could he cut it that way too! Yikes! Too funny. 🤣🤣🤣
It’s hard, the relationship with your barber is a bond nobody wants to cut! Appreciate you redoing
Ha.. reading!
Read somewhere that men admitted being more likely to cheat on the wife than the barber. Good story, probably true.
Hahah that’s hilarious and sad to me. Appreciate yo reading my friend!
I felt that pressure just reading this.
I feel a cheat by cutting my own hair instead of using the hairdresser. lol
Great reading. I’ve felt like that in other circumstances with food service people. You build a friendship with some people after a while and feel guilty when you go somewhere else.
Thanks so much! It’s funny how we all feel guilty
I cut my husband’s hair, and my own. End of. 🙂
Hahah that’s one way to beat the system
I experienced this a couple of times with greengrocers asking me where I had been and why I hadn’t been buying their goods. I felt so pressured I never went back.
It’s so awkward isn’t it
If I watch Edward Scissorhands, my stylist goes bonkers.
Just joking. That’s a a Seinfeldism. 🙂
Thanks so much my friend! And ha! I need to watch that movie again soon
Well written I love the humour in this too.
I adore this piece. The humor is magnificent and the writing is so very good. Great flow.
Thank you so so so much!!!
I gotta ad, I have been in this awkward situation more times in my life than I care to count. I love the part about reading the label on the candy bar. LMAO.. I am still laughing over it. This truly is great. hahaha!!!!
So happy you enjoyed ! Thank up you so much!!
As a Master Barber, this is hilarious! Love it.
So Happy you did!
😂 Great story! I am totally with you on not making an appointment with the barber. If I can’t walk in whenever I want, I’ll switch barbers – I’ve done it twice already, and am determined to tell the truth if I ever get caught😁
Bless you my good man! They deserve to know the truth!
😁
LOL, Ive definitely felt that pressure! You just want a quick trim without the commitment. But then the barber knows, right? Its like a unspoken rule you didnt break, but they *know* you did. Miami… of Ohio? Classic! Cant argue with that one. Good luck next week, man! 😉football bros
Well I chopped up my locks and did so unevenly. My hairdresser asked me for the name of the bad hairdresser and I sheepishly confessed to experimenting. It can get more awkward. 😂 and to make matters worse I did this twice and the third time luckily for me I moved towns (not kidding).
You’re cutting in on her business 😉
OMG. I hope you went back and made up, Tony. Awful to have that on your conscious for the rest of your life, hurting the man’s feelings after twelve long years!! Judith Colquhoun
Hilarious! Hasn’t happened to me, but thanks for the giggle. 😁
So happy you enjoyed
Thank you for a good laugh! I didn’t think it was real thing, but I experienced that and my barber wasn’t too happy with me either. 🙂
You didn’t cheat on your barber. You merely explored other short-term relationships. 💈