For whatever illogical reason, people want to pacify the idea that there is no such thing as a dumb question.
*Que the images of your teacher saying* Of course there’s no such thing as a dumb question; there’s plenty of people that are scared to ask and probably have the same question as you.
This series is dedicated to proving otherwise.
Let the hilarity ensue.
“Did you find everything ok?” (Commonly asked by grocery store clerks sometimes named Helen)
Thanks for the empty question Helen, I can tell you’ve gotten really good at going through the motions. May I suggest that it probably would have been a better time to alter and ask said question when I arrive at the store opposed to the checkout counter? I mean I’m here, I’m at the checkout counter; I served my time waiting in line with these animals I call Matt. I’m one pointless conversation away from my beloved TV. Don’t fuck with me! Now Helen, roll play with me for a moment, suppose I didn’t find everything OK. What am I’m going to leave and loose my place inline to go get some peanut butter? Forget about it. And you – what are you going to leave your beloved cash register to go run my errands? No, not a chance. You’re dead to me.
“Can I tell You Something?”
Yes Mitchell, I suppose you can tell me something because you know, you just did. What did I make you blush?! Unless there’s a knife wielding rhinoceros that’s getting ready to kidnap you or kidnap my ears, then yes, you can tell me something. Oh what, now you don’t want to tell me? Now I’m the smartass? Ok Mitchell, grow up.
“Do you know what I’m thinking?”
No I don’t. Sorry. I’m not that good. I mean I’m good, but not that good. If you’d like, I can just pretend that I know one of the billions of possible thoughts that you could be thinking of at any given moment if it makes you feel better.
“Is the Lochness monster real?”
Yes Austin, it’s real and it has plans for world domination, one mysterious lake at a time.
Disclaimer: This is satire and not meant to be taken seriously. Please like, comment and share. What are the dumb questions that plague you? Tell me so I can feel your annoyance!