Life is a wonderfully weird place, filled with convenient stores that aren’t convenient, fast food that is served slow, and rush hour traffic where cars sit still.
Welcome to the wild and weird mysteries of life.
Fat Guys Are Always Sitting In Corner Of Hot Tubs
Anywhere in the world at any given time you will find a fat guy sitting in the corner of a jacuzzi, arms-on-the-wall, beer-in-hand ignoring his wife & drowning kids. This man lives for the tub, or better yet, the tub lives for him. What’s amazing is this man is the same guy everywhere in the world! He’s a mustached man, with a gold chain that swims in the rolling sea of chest hair. Does he say words? No. But his eyes speak stadiums by the way he undressed half-naked pool-goers with his longing stare.
People Who Say “I Have No Words”
It’s right after someone uses words to state “I have no words” is when I can feel my eyes rotate in circles and I do my damndest to keep my head from exploding. The truth is pulsating… You have words, however, what you don’t have is an internet connection to look up a few more. A better way to say “I have no words” is I don’t know…. Say nothing!
It was pretty telling when Americans bought toilet paper at the start of the lockdown.
It goes to show amid a worldwide crisis, the average American only cares about his own ass.
Please like, comment, and share. What other contradictions have you noticed?