Welcome to customer service. What dumb question can I answer for you today?
“Do you work here?”
No, you caught me! I just answer this number every day at 3:00 P.M. for the hell of it. What can I help you with?
“I can’t figure out how to assemble this. Can you help me?”
Sure—just let me know which page of the instructions you ignored, and we’ll go from there.
“Why is my flight cancelled?”
Believe it or not, it’s the weather. It’s always the weather. And even if it weren’t, your flight is still cancelled, and I, the person who isn’t flying nor fixing the plane, can’t do anything about it.
Asking about this might feed your illusion of control, but it certainly won’t change the outcome.
“Can I use this expired coupon?”
No.
“Why not?”
Because civilization is a fragile, crumbling illusion held together by a collective agreement called rules, and I happen to be the gatekeeper of one of them.
“Why are you out of stock?”
Because we’re not in stock.
“How come I can’t get any earlier appointments?”
Because there aren’t any. If there were, we would have suggested it to get you off the phone.
“Why is my order taking so long?”
Because the guy we’re paying $9 an hour is painfully aware of the fact that he’s making $9 an hour.
ADD TO THE LIST. WHAT AM I MISSING? Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think.
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Remind me to never get you as my customer service person! Just kidding. Funny stuff. 👍
Hahah I appreciate you!
too honest…lol🤭🤣
I want someone to do that to me as weird as it sounds, it be so
lol … on the receiving end…it’s sure to be interesting… 🤣
💯
I have been customer service in some capacity for the last 40 years… 23 of them for an airline… however, my all time favorite dumb question was when I had gotten off my shift from working the ramp. My uniform was as bedraggled as I was. On the way home I stopped at Walmart to pick up a few necessities. A customer stopped me and asked, “where do you keep your dish soap?”
I looked him dead in the eye … my airline lanyard visible around my neck … and said “under the sink. Where do you keep yours?”
His next question was equally dumb “don’t you work here?”
I just said no and continued on my way. I was out of effs to give.
We’ve all been there my friend!
this girl once asked me when i was taking a group order; “what does the raspberry tea taste like?” i just looked at her with the devil eyes and closed smile. we all laughed it off and she was a good sport. but i did break it down to her and she appreciated it. Mike
Hahah laughed reading this
When they call and you answer the phone and they ask “Are y’all open today?” I would always say “no sorry we’re closed ” They would either thank me and hang up, or they would catch on and say, “Oh yeah I guess you are since someone answered.”
The ones that thanked me and hung up are the ones I wonder about.
That’s such a go to response, love it
Very relateable. On the other side of the coin, I once bought a large stepping machine, gym-standard, for home use. We couldn’t get it to work, despite reading the manual in detail and trying everything – that’s me and my husband, and we’re not exactly useless. When I rang the company to report it, I was hit with a slew of dumb questions. Did you plug it in? No, I thought it’d be more fun to use ten times the effort required by using electricity. Did you fix the pedals on? No, I thought it’s be more effective if I dangled from the handlebars. You get the idea, but when I got exasperated the woman explained that they get people who don’t do the obvious things, in fact don’t seem to read the handbook at all. In the end they sent out an engineer who determined that the width of neck was pinching the electrical cables that ran out the bottom to be plugged in, and the little control box which sat at the top between the handlebars. He had to drill a hole to make room, and we were vindicated. Thanks for the memories! 🙂
No worries at all, we’ll that must feel good – it’s like beating the system
“I know I’m seriously late for my appointment today, but can y’all still see me?!”
Nah, they’re other people who managed to show up on time on the schedule, and we’re booked until next week.
😮💨😩🥺 People’s time management skills are so off these days and they try to make it your fault that they have to reschedule their appointment. There are schedules for a reason. Lol.
My daughter says this happens a lot at the office she works at and it drives her crazy.
It happens constantly! Like we can just pull appointments outta thin air.
Shit drives me crazy!
It’s like yeah people, it’s called an appointment for a reason
EXACTLY! That part! Lol. Lol.
I swear! The sliver lining is it makes it fun to rant about
😂🤣😆
I ask for the senior discount and then stare them in the eyes, daring them to check my ID card. 😉 Seriously though, I have asked before: Why is the senior discount age so high? (LOL)
Hahah that’s a power move!
It feels like a moving goal post! Or better yet that dumb thing we did to each other as teens when you’re trying to get in a car and your smart ass friend’s keeps moving it as you try to get in! You turn 50 and the senior discount is 55 and older … ok fine … five years later you have to be 60 or 62! FFS!!
How long should I cook my turkey? Asked of the 911 emergency service operator.
😁😁
hahaha
“How old are you?”
“Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it anyway… and just the right age to blame it on back pain later.”
Hahah this sarcasm kills me 😂