With my book coming out, I just wanted to share the *final* first chapter. Hope you enjoy!

 

There’s only so much crap a person can pack into the back of a U-Haul, and Omar Watson is officially past the limit. Before him, boxes and boxes of memories are stacked to the ceiling, like a cheap cardboard city, threatening to topple down faster than his engagement to Monica. She dumped him about a month ago, and despite many bottles of liquor, many mouthfuls of joints, and many reassurances from friends, nothing feels right, and Omar is pretty sure nothing ever will again.

Omar grits his teeth and wipes his brow, taking one last look at what his consumerism is reduced to. How thirty years of life can be shoved away in boxes as if he were putting toys away in a daycare bin. What a cosmic joke. Then he sighs, reaches up and yanks the door down, revealing the Two Idiots and a Truck logo, taps the back of the truck, and sends his two idiots off with a half-hearted wave.

“See you in California,” Omar mutters before adding, “Don’t break my shit.”

The moving truck rumbles forward, kicking up gravel that, for some reason, kicks up memories. His breakup with his fiancée, Monica, flashes in his mind’s eye, sharp and unwelcome, like pigeon shit splattering on an unsuspecting bald head.

“I can’t keep fixing you,” Monica says with tears running down her face as she turns away. “…How can I expect you to love me when you can’t even love yourself?”

And to Omar, that’s what hurts the most. She’s right, of course—Monica is always right. He can’t love anyone because he can’t love himself. And you can hardly live life without love; it’s too long. It’s too treacherous. And frankly, it’s too damn lonely.

Omar shakes the memory off and jams his hand into his pocket, pulling out a crumpled plane ticket and begins to study the lettering. Only a few more hours, and he will officially leave Ohio behind. His mother’s dead. His father’s a deadbeat, and all his friends have settled down and forgotten all the memories they shared. So it’s off to the land where dreams come true, to get a fresh start where nobody knows his name. The kind of fresh start Omar needed, perhaps more than ever.

A cool breeze picks up, blowing leaves across the parking lot as Omar reaches behind his ear, produces a joint, lights it, and takes a long, slow drag, savoring its earthy taste.

The smoke fills his lungs like a warm hug he hasn’t felt in weeks, but when he exhales, he feels even emptier than before.

“Ahh shit,” he mutters.

Omar cranes his neck for one last look at the movers pulling out of the apartment complex, then starts the slow walk back to his empty apartment, rubbing the plane ticket between his fingers when a strange car approaches.

“California’s gonna be different,” Omar whispers, convincing no one, least of all himself. “I’ll make sure of it,” he adds.

Suddenly, Omar hears the faint rattle of a car rolling to a stop and slows his pace. He’s on the sidewalk but feels heat pouring off the tires. He can’t tell if the car wants to hit him or the driver is blind, but the universe already ruined his life, and now it’s sending someone in to finish the job. So he stands there, back turned—waiting for impact. But what hits him isn’t force. It’s the universe nudging his shoulder.

“What the hell are you doing?!” says the man defiantly from the window of the car.

Omar’s stomach drops as he hears the car door open and slam shut, sending an echo bouncing off the concrete.

“You’re standing there like a damn lunatic, you know. Like you wanted to be run over.”

Omar closes his eyes and exhales long and slow, his back still turned. He knows who the voice is; he just didn’t expect to hear him. The man throws his hands on his hips before pointing to the moving truck.

“Man, you better tell that truck to turn its ass around—they forgot to put my shit in there,” the man says as if he were personally offended.

Omar exhales, still not believing it’s his father. But when he turns, he sees Jasper standing beside his beat-up grey Honda Civic, suitcase in one hand, can of Coke in the other, sly grin cutting the uneasiness of his face. Omar’s hands fall to his side, and he drops his plane ticket, not noticing it get caught up in the wind.

Jasper’s face slowly fades from smile to concern.

“What? Ain’t you excited to see me? What’s it been? Five years? Six? And uhh… Omar… how come you’re not with those idiots too? You’re moving, right?”

Omar’s jaw clenches, and he lets out a nervous laugh and mutters, “You’ve gotta be shitting me,” loud enough for his father to hear before running a hand through his hair. Ten seconds pass.

“What? Are you just gonna stand there and wait for Cupid to hit you with an arrow?”

Omar looks down and sees his plane ticket blowing in the parking lot. He grunts and takes a few steps toward it, but stops as he gets within an arm’s reach of his father.

“Dammit, Dad,” Omar fires back, his eyes darting from the plane ticket to his father.

“What… what are you doing here? How… how did you know where I live?”

Jasper lets out an uneasy laugh he hopes will disarm. “Shoot, man, you really think your father wouldn’t know where his son lives? What do you take me for?”

Omar’s lip curls. “Well, it’s news to me,” he says, finally getting a hold of his nerve.

Jasper scratches his chin and shrugs half-heartedly. “Well… I… ugh… Heard through the grapevine about you and Monica and the big move… Figured you might need some company on the drive out west. To be honest, I actually thought I just missed you.” Jasper looks away.

Omar’s eyebrows shoot up. “Drive? Company?”

Jasper nods toward his Civic and slaps the hood, sending another echo across the parking lot. “Yeah, man. I’m thinking we hit the road together. It’ll be fun. Just like old times.”

Omar bites his lip and turns his hips, taking a step back. He looks away, body trembling, then all at once, explodes.

“Fun? Fun? You’ve got to be kidding me!” Omar yells and waves his arms while taking a few steps forward.

Jasper doesn’t react. Instead, he just raises his suitcase and taps it. “Does it look like I’m joking?” He swings his suitcase to his side.

Omar scoffs.

“No… it looks cheap,” says Omar, his hands pulling his thick curly hair as he starts pacing from the sidewalk to his apartment and back again. Then all at once he takes rushed, quick steps toward his father, waving his hands up and down.

“I’m moving across the country, Dad. You can’t just— I… I have a plane ticket. I’m supposed to go… go to the airport… I… I have a plan.”

Jasper waves Omar’s objection away like it’s nothing and places his suitcase on the hood of his car. “Plan? It’s just money… Hell, I’ll pay for it… Forget the flight—hop in the car and we’ll catch up with them movers.” Jasper turns his back to Omar and brings one hand to his brow as he looks off to the distance. He continues, “They’re driving like a bat out of hell you know, you better hope they don’t break your shit.”

Omar blinks slowly and shakes his head, hoping his father will disappear. His eyes find the plane ticket skidding across the concrete with the breeze before looking back at his father. “Seriously, why… why are you here? What’s going on?”

Jasper’s grin falters for the briefest moment, his eyes softening. “You… You’re smart; there’s your answer. We haven’t spoken for years, you’re moving away, and I’m fixin’ to change that,” Jasper says as he picks up his suitcase and opens the passenger door expectantly as if he were some sort of bellhop.

Omar stares at Jasper like he just offered him a plate of raw pig’s feet. His lips curl, his jaw drops, and he crosses his arms in disgust, but immediately snaps out of it when Jasper starts coughing, loud and wet, to the point where he’s bending over, forcing his hands to his knees.

“Sorry…” Jasper wipes his mouth. “So what do you say?” It comes out hesitant yet hopeful. “Come on, man, it’s not like you have any shit here.” Jasper coughs once more. “I just watched it roll away.”

Omar quickly shakes his head and looks off to the side of his red brick apartment building, noticing a large stone. For a brief second, he wonders if someone dropped it from high enough up, maybe it would kill him.

Then he looks back at Jasper.

Really looks at him for the first time since he showed up.

The man looks familiar yet different, like time is ticking twice as fast for him.

His face is slightly puffy yet somehow sunken. His dark skin has grown splotchy. His beard is mostly gray now. And his eyes carry a gentle sadness with the faintest glimmer of hope.

Yet through it all, he still clutches his suitcase tightly against his chest, squeezing it so hard his knuckles turn pale.

“Well… what do you say?” Jasper repeats as his chest rises and falls.

Omar frowns as his attention moves from the suitcase into his eyes, where they look almost pleading. His stomach flutters, and he turns away, his gaze falling on his apartment once more. He then slowly turns to his father, his face undecided.

Omar wants to say no. He wants to laugh in his father’s face. He wants to slam the door shut and walk away without a second glance like Jasper did to him all those years ago. But something weak in him—or maybe it’s curious—stops that. If he went with his father, he’d get answers, at least. He looks at his father’s suitcase once more, then looks towards the road.

His mind for some reason thinks of Monica. Misery does love company, after all, and Omar is feeling miserable.

“But what are you really doing here?” Omar asks, his voice now low and airy. “I… I want the truth.”

Jasper’s grin returns, this time with hope. But there’s something different now. Something off. Something almost sad. His voice takes on a solemn tone.

“Well to be honest with you, I’ve got some news I need to share, and it’s the kind of news you oughta tell someone in person,” Jasper says with a sigh. His voice drops, and he looks Omar square in his brown eyes. “So, what do you say? Please. We’ll be in California by the time your movers arrive, and if you’d like, after this, you’ll never have to see me again. Sound fair?”

Omar doesn’t reply. Instead, his eyes trace the lines on his father’s face—have they always been there? They then shift to the thinness in his frame—he looks like he must have lost fifty, no sixty pounds, but he certainly didn’t exercise to do that; his skin was too flabby. He can’t quite place it, but something is definitely wrong. Omar throws his hands on his hips and exhales, looking down before taking one look at his apartment, then back to his father. His mind is telling him no, but his lips are mouthing…

“Fine,” Omar mutters, then points a finger at his father. “But I’m not doing this for you.” Omar pauses. “And we can’t be late; otherwise, I might lose my job.”

Jasper exhales sharply, his muscles relaxing, mellowing his face. “That’s alright, I don’t need you to do it for me, and we’ll be on time—hell, early even. You know I drive fast.” Jasper’s smiling as he walks to the back of his car and throws his suitcase in with a plop.

Omar almost lets himself laugh, but he can’t believe this shit.

“…Alright, alright… Fuck it,” says Omar as he sleepwalks to the car.

With a final glance at his ticket and all his belongings already on the road, he hesitates for a moment before yanking open the passenger door and jumping in.

They drive in silence for what feels like hours, and Omar now sits with his arms and legs crossed, making him appear like a human ‘X’ while his forehead rests on the passenger side window, watching the Ohio countryside blow by in a constant blur. His eyes are dark, sleepless circles, and the unspoken tension of it all makes his head feel like a basketball in the hands of a highly skilled player. He is busy doing what he does best—tuning his father out—and deeply regretting letting him talk his way onto this trip. But no matter what he does, he can’t help but wonder what the news is that Jasper wants to… needs to share.

Omar closes his eyes as Monica’s last words echo in his head: “I can’t keep fixing you.” She was right. She was always fucking right. But that didn’t make it hurt any less — it just made him race back to the moment when it all happened.

He was in Monica’s old Honda Civic about a month ago, cross-legged in the passenger seat, with the rain patting the window on a cold summer night. They were parked outside her apartment, engine off, wipers squeaking, while the dashboard lights glowed green on her face, making her look like she was underwater. But she wouldn’t look at him. And she wouldn’t talk to him. Instead, she sat straight, hands in her lap, twisting the hem of her sweater.

“I can’t keep doing this, Omar,” she finally said, breaking the silence.

Omar huffed and looked up from his phone. “Doing what?”

Monica flicked a tear off her cheek. “Fixing you. Waiting for you to figure out how to show up for yourself so you can finally show up for me.”

Omar laughed — short and bitter. “You sound like a self-help book you know. Can we go now? I… I have work tomorrow.”

Monica sighed and turned to him.

“Don’t you get it?” Her eyes were red. “How am I supposed to move forward? I… I… I… don’t even know if you love me.”

Omar stared straight ahead and unclicked his seatbelt.

He opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came. Because she was right. She was always fucking right.

Rain tapped the roof in short, soft beats as Monica reached for the keys in the ignition, then paused.

“I need space. Real space. Not this — this existing around each other pretending it’s ok.”

Omar stared at the glove compartment, noticing the little scratch she’d put there years ago.

“So that’s it? THAT’S IT? We’re done because I’m not happy enough for you?”

He slammed his hands into his thighs and turned to Monica.

“Don’t… Don’t you know I hate my job? Don’t you know I only have it to take care of you? TO TAKE CARE OF US? Are you kidding me?”Monica crossed her arms and turned away as tears started to run down her cheek.

“No.” Her voice cracked just once. “We’re done because I can’t be the only one fighting for us… And…. And… and you’re never going to change.”

She wiped her eyes and steadied herself.

“I can’t keep fixing you… How can I expect you to love me when you can’t even love yourself?”

She started the engine and the heater kicked on, blasting warm air that smelled faintly of her vanilla lotion. She didn’t ask him to get out. She just drove slowly and silently back to his place. When she pulled up to the curb, she didn’t turn off her car.

“Take care of yourself, Omar,” she said. “Take care of yourself,” she repeated, her voice trailing off.

He got out without another word and stood on the sidewalk, unable to see her crying in the dark. In a flash, the car was gone, but the smell of vanilla never left him.

Back in Jasper’s Civic, Omar blinks hard. The cornfields were still blurring, and Jasper glances over. “You good, kid?”

Omar rubs his thumb over the cracked screen of his phone, stopping on a picture of Monica’s smile. “Yeah,” he lies. “Just… thinking.”

Every few miles, Jasper looks like he is about to say something, with his mouth opening and closing like a fish, but no words come out. More than anything, Jasper wants to confess to Omar. To tell him why he joined the trip in the first place. To apologize for their rather inglorious breakup. To share his secret that he knows will change everything, especially his son’s life.

He keeps stealing glances at Omar, studying his profile, memorizing every detail like he’s trying to burn it into his brain as if for one final time. He’s surprised Omar hasn’t commented on his decline, his shriveled appearance, his premature aging. Soon, he will have to tell him, but now, he’ll need to win his trust. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Jasper clears his throat.

“Thanks, Omar.”

Omar doesn’t even look up. “For what?”

“For letting me come on this trip. It… it means a lot.”

Omar shrugs, not bothering to hide his irritation. “Yeah. No problem,” he says flatly.

Jasper rolls down the window, letting the awkward tension blow out with the breeze.

“So, ugh… why California?”

Omar’s jaw tightens. “New job.”

Jasper presses on. “Doing…?”

“Work.”

Jasper tilts his head back, and his hands flick up.

“Never would have guessed,” he remarks dryly. “Can’t you get work here too?”

“Dad!” Omar snaps, sitting up straighter in his seat. “Just drop it, okay? You said you had something to tell me, so stop beating around the bush and tell me. What is it that’s soooo important?”

Jasper sits back in his seat and finds his suitcase in the rearview mirror. His hand reaches back like he wants to grab it, then all at once jerks back like he got burned. “Yeah… I’m just waiting for the right time,” he says solemnly.

Omar shakes his head. “When the hell is that going to be? Because time with you is a funny thing. It took you long enough to show your face.”

Jasper’s shoulders sag like someone just cut his puppet strings, and he slumps over. “I’m sorry about that. Really, I am. You don’t know how bad I feel about that.”

Omar looks away.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Omar says monotonously.

Jasper exhales and focuses on the road, tapping his steering wheel.

“Look, when we grab lunch, I’ll tell you there, okay? I’m just waiting for the right moment. Food might… no… will help.”

Omar grimaces, his eyes cutting towards his father. “When do you want to stop?”

Jasper looks at the gas gauge and notices the needle. It’s a hair’s length from E, like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.

“Soon.”

“Okay…” says Omar, his mind still on Monica.

Jasper grits his teeth while his eyes dart back to the road as he wonders when in the hell they will find an exit. But just then, a blue sign appears like a dot on the horizon that must have come down from the heavens above:

BP Gas Station 2 miles

“About damn time,” Jasper mutters as he relaxes into his seat. “Alright, kid, we’re getting off here soon… real soon, and I’ll tell you what’s going on. I just gotta get past these—oh, what the fuck?”

A truck merges into the passing lane ahead of them, pacing the truck in the slow lane. To their right, a black Audi pulls alongside them, driven by a lady glued to her phone, while two more trucks pull up behind, officially boxing them in. Jasper sucks his lip, silently cursing the entire trucking industry. He steals a glance at the gas gauge again—this time it’s deep in the red, sending his pulse into overdrive as he reaches over and slaps Omar’s arm.

“Get her attention. She’s gotta let us over… we… we can’t miss this exit,” Jasper says, jabbing his finger toward the woman.

But Omar doesn’t move. Instead, he stares at the latest photo of his ex-fiancée on Instagram, wishing he were the new guy in her latest picture. Jasper turns and frowns, looking up from Omar to the lady.

“Come on, man! You ain’t gonna make the move without gas,” Jasper snaps, his eyes flicking between the mirror and the road ahead. “We’re boxed in.”

Omar’s shoulders slump, and he looks up at the lady. Big, black sunglasses cover much of her face, making her look like a fly. Her head is tilted down, and she stares at her phone while driving seventy miles per hour, somehow managing to keep her car between the lines.

“She’s texting, and you can’t pass her? Have you tried using your blinker?” Omar deadpans.

Jasper squeezes the steering wheel. “Have you tried using your blinker? Of course I did! What do you think, I can’t drive? … I drove here!” says Jasper, throwing his hands up. He flips on the clicking blinker, but the Audi holds steady.

Jasper’s eyes dart to the gas gauge again, and he mutters under his breath before glancing over at the woman.

“Move the hell outta the way!” he shouts, hammering the horn.

Omar brings his hands to his ears and scowls. “She can’t hear you, you know.”

“It ain’t from a lack of trying!” Jasper erupts and wipes the sweat from his head. “She kind of reminds me of you,” he adds.

Omar shakes his head and returns to his phone and the picture.

About a thousand yards out, the exit ramp appears like an oasis in the desert with all the allure of freedom. Tasting salvation, Jasper taps the accelerator and takes a deep gulp as his eyes focus on his exit. It was time to pull a fast one on this bitch.

He presses his heel down till his foot feels the floor, and the car zooms forward, sending the men back into their seats with a whoosh. But no progress is made. Despite staring at her phone, the lady finds a way to block his exit and match his speed. And no matter what he does, he cannot shake her; she remains glued to his side like a logo on a shoe. As Jasper’s last morsel of patience burns out, that’s when it all happens.

Jasper’s nostrils flare. He slams down the automatic window button, shoves his son back into the seat, reaches out the window, and gives the lady the bird.

“Move the fuck over!” he shouts.

It is as American as Johnny Appleseed holding a firework while riding a bald eagle.

Jasper holds the middle finger triumphantly, ignoring the road and focusing on the lady, hoping she will get the message, not noticing the truck moving out of the way.

But when she finally cranes her neck and sees the middle finger, she does the most inconceivable thing. She smiles and waves, which has the effect of short-circuiting Jasper.

His jaw drops, his face twists, and he looks as if he just saw a ghost, his brain temporarily frozen with disbelief. Unfortunately, for Jasper and Omar, something directly ahead of them is much more menacing.

“Watch out!” Omar screams, throwing his hands over his face.

Standing smack dab in the middle of the road is a ten-point buck delivered from Karma herself. Jasper, still staring at the lady, doesn’t see it coming.

And he doesn’t have to. His other senses do the heavy lifting.

WHAM!

The impact hits at seventy miles per hour, sending a violent jolt through the steering wheel and up his arms. A sickening crunch of metal and bone tears through the air, and instantly, the windshield explodes into a spiderweb of cracks as blood and fur splatter across the glass. A sharp smell of dirt, hot rubber, and copper fills the cabin while a rush of cold air slices through the open window.

Then all at once, their world flips upside down. The car rolls, and rolls, before crashing into a ditch, ending its momentum with a bone-rattling thud.

As the dust settles, Omar turns his head, his body aching from the crash. He takes one long, hard look at his father and at Monica’s cracked picture resting in his hand.

 

 

Please like, comment, share and tell me what you think! My book is out now!! I hate to ask, but if you have the means, I’d love your support. If you can buy, tell a friend, leave a review, anything at all, that would mean the world. Please know, every chapter has changed. 

I love all of you, and the preorder link will be live next week.

More imortantly, new stories coming soon – just on the final lap of my book!

– Tony