As I type the keyboard shakes with growing intensity; the footsteps of the impending masses are truly felt before they are heard. Part two of Top Three Douchiest Things People Post On Social Media sheds light on the Jewel of the Social Media Nile; The Selfie. Shots fired.
Douchey Tendency Number Two: The Everyday Selfie Taker
Selfies are a lighting rod issue: they are simultaneously, all the while beautifully, loved and loathed by the masses. If you will they are Yin and Yang. We love selfies, love taking them, love captioning them, love critiquing them and most importantly love the ego stroke we receive when someone “likes” them. Everyone with a smartphone takes selfies and sometimes we actually need to. I’m aware life happens. You just bumped into Will Smith, I get it. Proudly take that selfie and upload that shit. I’ll “like” it, maybe even write a comment. Carpe Diem.
We love selfies so much that it’s now an official word in the dictionary. Yes, selfie is in the dictionary, and that’s pretty eye opening. 1,400 years of beautiful English slowly morphed “Art Thou” into “Selfie” and “YOLO”. Lolz. Change truly is the only constant in life.
With such intense selfie love there is also an equally intense emotion shimmering on the opposite side of the selfie spectrum; loathe. The constant selfie taker is number two in the Top Three Douchiest Things People Post on Social Media because simply posting constant selfies is a douchey move and people loathe it. This is a 1 +1 = 2 type of thing.
Uploading a selfie everyday is a douchey move. It just is. I’m not a fan of having the rationale of anything simply be explained with the word “Just” but this is the only exception. Barring a natural disaster, an abusive spouse, accident, alien invasion, plastic surgery, desire to change your hair color everyday or all of the above your face probably hasn’t changed overnight. I know what you look like, I’ve seen your face the past 18 days. Yes, I can tell you have been using Aquafresh toothpaste. Look at them pearly whites.
I’m wise enough to know that it is illogical to try to rationalize people but I must ask what is the point of taking a selfie everyday? Even if you were an A list model, the supply and demand relationship would never favor a selfie-a-day. There simply isn’t enough demand to warrant the transaction.
I understand the dopamine feeling when you upload a selfie and it generates many “likes” but posting a selfie everyday is ridiculous. It’s ridiculous for many reasons. The largest being it tricks your brain into having your ego depend its validation on the thoughts and feelings of others. Letting other people dictate your emotions is simply ridiculous, and dare I type ludicrous? I won’t dive into this because I’m not your guidance counselor but know that basing your self worth on the opinions of others is a recipe for frustration.
A selfie-a-day person runs into a major problem, captions. Surprisingly enough, it turns out it is difficult to write a relevant caption when you’re posting the same picture of yourself everyday.
Please have relevant captions on your pictures. Taking a selfie while you’re in the bathroom and captioning it to the lyrics of Taylor Swift doesn’t make any sense. Taking a selfie while you’re in a McDonalds drive thru and captioning it with an inspirational quote, how the does that correlate? How can that possibly be inspiring? What the fuck? I see the problem, if you caption it with what you’re honestly doing it would sound drab.
“Started making popcorn, thought I’d take a picture of my face.”
“Sitting in Starbucks, here’s a picture with me and my frap. Letting you guys know I’m here”
“It’s 9:00 PM on a Friday and I’m half dead from watching Sportscenter. Here’s my TV bod, hear it roar.”
“I’m at the weight room again, here’s a picture so I can show you that I’m dedicated.”
The constant selfie taker is ridiculous because eventually the constant selfie taker becomes the “Proud” constant selfie taker. Wasn’t there a bit about change and it being the only thing that is constant?
The ‘Proud” selfie taker really is the head of the selfie snake, fangs oozing, dripping poison. To add context we’re talking about a person that finds their pride in posting a picture of themselves…. that they took. Not only finding pride but defending the pride. To hell with being proud about meaningful things, they furnish their pride in selfies. #Selfie #ProudSelfie #HatersGonnaHate
The fact that people take precautions to defend selfies with passive aggressive hashtags in their captions shows that they instinctively know it’s douchey. Hence the aforementioned. This is the proof in the douchebag pudding. This is why the constant selfie taker is a douche.
A suggestion: if you are uploading constant selfies at least change it up. Go Brittney Spears on us and shave your head. Fake a zombie attack while taking a selfie. Wear an eye patch. Do something different. Throw us a damn curve ball. Anything. #Please #Seriously
Disclaimer : There are two sides to every coin, and many people post content as it is required for their job, fuels their passion, help stay connected with family, etc. Everyone has an angle; I acknowledge this and respect the hustle. Intent is everything and this article was written with the intent to appreciate the subtle douchey idiosyncrasies of social media. This was written intentionally with a skeptical, humorous lense. As acknowledged prior, everyone including myself has been guilty of this tendency.
Please comment, share your feedback, share your social media pet peeves, hate me, love me or whatever. Stay tuned for Part three.
lol, ah so true! But at least the selfie obsession has opened doorways for a lot of hilarious posts like yours!
Thank you! I appreciate the feedback and the optimism.
You are on a roll! Go for it Sparky, you keep hitting close to the house on your posts, I like it.
LDS
Thank you so much for the continued support! I’m going for broke.
Hahaa…hilarious!!!! 😀
Thanks Teara,
Glad you enjoyed it!
Loved the post and the accompanying chuckles, but you left out my favorite, the tool – the selfie stick. 🙂
Hi Judy,
Thank you so much for the feedback! I really did miss that! My favorite thing to do when I go out is to photobomb selfie stick photos whenever the opportunity presents itself. Thanks again for the comment.
Selfies are photographic equivalent of wearing a sandwich board stating, “I do not get enough attention and this is why.”
You are a wise man good sir!
I’d like to see some pictures of places on Social Media – not so much of people doing stupid things in places; but just places themselves. It’s time to make photography an art-form again & not a drunken social expression of stupidity & boredom.
Hi Candle,
I completely agree! Seeing new places is what fuels my passion to travel. I’ll fight the good fight with you.
I totally sent this to my cousin. She’s got a weird thing with selfies – she took 60 plus selfies once, just to get one perfect pic. GOD.
The dedication sounds unreal 🔼🔼
Hahahahahhaha!!
But, then, to an extent, isn’t a defensively tagged selfie a way of saying, “I know someone is going to snark at me for doing this, but I’m enjoying it so why are you trying to spoil my fun?”
Hi Joseph,
Very good counter point and I believe you are correct. There really are two sides to every coin.
I seriously want to post this to Facebook and tag some people! But I’m afraid your next post will be about people that post pics of food or pics of their beers and then I’d be a hypocrite. I’m actually scared to see what you post next.
Nic,
Post to Facebook! I won’t make you a hypocrite.
Hahaha! I strongly agree. I skipped selfies on my newsfeed, and indeed they put irrelevant captions. I guess its true that ‘likes’ and ‘good comments’ boost people’s ego as well as reinforce these things so they keep on uploading selfies.
Smart lady! I’ll have to start doing that.
Hi,
You seem to have an engaged community. That’s great. I LOVE Willy Wonka and saw Gene Wilder’s picture here. Thanks for visiting my blog Reflections a few moments ago. I’m glad you liked my new post 12 Best Tricks to Get New Eyeballs on Your Old Posts.
Nice to meet you.
Janice
Hi Janice,
Thank you for the feedback! The Willy Wonka memes if done well are absolutely hysterical. Once again thank you for the feedback and I’m looking forward to your next article =)
Narcissistic Bloholes
Darn Tootin!
Posting a selfie everyday! The person sure is narcissistic if not otherwise psychotic! 😂
I’m in complete agreement with you, even more I really think girls look prettier with smiles rather than those selfie “piggy pouts”! 😂
Hey Alexia,
Glad you enjoyed the post! I’ve never heard the term “Piggy Pouts” but I love it! Might have to borrow that one from you…
lol! I just invented it 😉 I really do think that pouts resemble the face of a pig! lol!
Good day 🙂
Good Stuff, I like your writing keep it up
Thank you so very much 🙂
😂
Hilarious!
Hi Troy,
Glad you liked it!
It’s all those things that I want to say when I see such things!
I have a blog all about selfies I hope it doesn’t come off this way! You make some great points about captions though I like to think I keep it interesting. If you have any feedback keep me posted otherwise you make some great points. I laughed at the Taylor Swift lyrics reference !
Hi Cristina,
Thank you for the feedback and glad you liked the post! Keep doing your selfie blog, it’s not bad at all =) This article was written for humor and not hatred.
follow my blog
Top gag gift this year- The selfie stick. I’m ordering 6 for all family members. Cheers.
Nathan,
I like your style.
I take selfies as a way to remind myself that i exist. I work from home mostly and basically miss human interaction on a daily basis. Through the selfie, one may confirm the existence of the self.. Whatever, I do what I want!! Haha
Hi Jennie,
I’m a notorious selfie take on snapchat. We all have our rough spots =)
Love it. I know people on Facebook who just keep recycling the same three selfies with different filters.
Hey,
I appreciate the feedback. I know! I think the duck face selfies are the worst.
I think one of the worst post people share on social media, is their food….The question that begs to get asked, does anyone really care?
Yes! You make a great point. Everyone eats a meal pal, unless someone is eating a mermaid I don’t want to see it. Thanks for commenting!
Its kind of psychological disorder ,posting your selfies or other photos its irony that social media is used for nonsense things by 96% people ,I guess we should raise valid issues like hunger, poverty , environment on social media rather than posting selfies
We really should raise those issues!
I never felt the need to make a disclaimer for my own site, precising my angle. That may be useful. You’re giving me a nice idea, as my views are often interpreted at the first degree. Love you blog, by the way. Nice to laugh with the brain too, it doesn’t distort our faces.
Beausex,
Thanks for the support! Definitely using a disclaimer helps, to put it elegantly it allows you to be more creative in your approach but not come off as a complete dickhead. Thanks again!
I did a post a bit similar, but about social media age limit
Princesslexblogs.wordpress.com
I really enjoyed this, as the first blog I have read of yours, you have made a great first impression.
Thanks Lex!
I have a friend, even at her kids preschool graduation she’s snapping a self ie in hooked heels and puffer fish lips. Gross.
Frigging autocorrect makes my comment seem like I’m an idiot.
No worries at all! I’m curious to see in the future if todays kids have an imagination since they have technology in their hands right away.
I have 3 sons and one is a graphic designer (my t-shirts), one is in a band, and youngest writes stories. They are all totally engrossed in technology but still have imaginations. I feel I’m just lucky though. It won’t be the same for everyone.
Haha, that was grand! Didn;t scientists say that people who post selfies every day have some kind of disorder? Don’t quote me on that…
I’m not too sure that they did, but I wouldn’t be surprised!
Not to mention the amount of time these people probably waste on waiting for people to comment and “like”
Hi Cristi,
I know what you are saying, anxiously waiting for likes. That’s for the birds..
Lmaooo!!! Well written. Solid points. A society of narcissists who really have nothing more to offer than what they perceive as “beauty”. If they were even taling selfies doing instrumental things in PLACES ACROSS THE WORLD…That’d be dope. But hey…Sad times.
Thanks Mali! We’ll be the change in selfies we want to see.
Right. Douchiet .
Reblogged this on I-NETRADIO.
Reblogged this on KCJones.
Sadly I am guilty of the selfie and the duck face, but hey Im trying to get help for it. I see a therapist 2x a week, har har har, you are a great writer….very entertaining.
Up it to three times, I’ll pay the difference =)
Great post but selfie takers are the number one douchiest, IMHO 🙂
Great Post, but lordy I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy taking the occasional selfie, and by occasional, I mean weekly.
Phil,
If only you saw my snapchat…I’m a selfie king!!
Drink wine and tell your mind
Be start forward.
Sure u self or ago man
To be king upon ur self
Keep on u best u can.
Ahahaha you’re actually incredible, I love this so much!
Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it. = )
Thank you for making me laugh uproariously
It was my pleasure to do so!
Woaaaah my blog’s first likers! Thank you bro!
Dude no problem !
I really like your blog! And thanks for supporting mine too
No problem at all Isaac!
Loved this! Hilarious and sadly true. I’ve officially given up the social media gig. Not that I don’t think it can be useful, but because of the false ego it creates.
Anyway, decided to pick up blogging again, and I’m glad to see I’m not alone in my thoughts!
Blogging >>>>> Facebook. You made the right choice, welcome back!
Your blog once again proves in comedy there is truth.
Hell of a compliment, thank you!
I’m making popcorn. Here’s a picture of my face! Ha! Now that really works for me!! I may have to copy that caption and post a selfie on facebook tonite.
Or maybe I’ll just post a selfie and say, “I do exist! I do! I do! I do!”
Do it!
“Sitting in Starbucks, here’s a picture with me and my frap. Letting you guys know I’m here”
This actually made me laugh out loud here at my desk (even though I’m about three days behind on other stuff I should actually be doing…)
Great post!
Thank you! reading comments like this makes writing worthwhile.
I’ve read part 1 & 2. I have decided to follow before reading part 3.
I took my first few selfies a few weeks ago.
I found I was really bad at it and have not taken anymore.
Loved this article, it’s so true. We live in a very narcissistic world it seems.
Glad you liked it =) it’ll get worse now that the election is coming up
Ah! My ribs hurt.
I’ll call a doctor!
I saw someone one time attempting to take a selfie with a selfie stick and he dropped it. I could not stop laughing..
Bravo on a true and accurate post.
That’s awesome hahah
Omg….rolling again. I am gonna get rid of this belly roll if you keep this up, hell who needs to work out after reading your blogs. Very nicely done and yes, we are all guilty of it. We all have that one friend, be it the sister-in-law, the gym freak, or the whiney douche that complains daily of his oh so terrible life, while he lives in that perfect little picket fenced neighborhood and with his perfectly manicured lawn. Thanks for the good stuff dude.
It’s my pleasure, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Love this. You’ve hit the nail on the head 🙂
LMAOOOOOOOOO im kinda guilty of the selfies
Hey, I am too!